Nik's getting married

[Nikolai]

So BU wanted to abuse me, he said...... Nothing sexual I hope.

Here's the deal:

I'm getting married to a wonderful woman this autumn. October 24th to be exact. We met in April. Got engaged at the turn of this month. Real fast. If anyone I know had done it, I'd be thinking too fast. But I'm not one to normally jump into stuff, and still this just feel right. People around me says they see us together and trust I'm right. In any case, it's happening. As a Christian(and she is too, naturally), we don't go beyond first base before marriage btw, so you can all now point and laugh.

I'm very happy.

[Buster's Uncle]

Nil, ol' buuuuddy - did you notice the change in your postbit?

I promise to marry you before the sexual abuse.  Imna give yoo a loooong engagement, boy!

[Buster's Uncle]

I have a faction idea...

[Unorthodox]

Been happily married for 19 years and counting.  In this day and age, that is something of a rarity. 

As such I have some unorthodox advice. 

• Be friends first. 

This might sound obvious, but seriously.  LIKE each other.  Love is often overrated.  It's easily possible to love someone and not like them.  And when the chips are down, be that friend for each other, without going into any romanticism. 

• Money

biggest cause of arguments. 

Completely against all advise you'll ever hear on this anywhere else.  Share everything.  No 'yours and mine' accounts or you pay that bill, I'll pay this.  That thought process DOES make divorce easier.  SHARE.  And have someone be the accountant.  We've taken turns in that role over our 19 years.  When we first were married, I held all the accounts and paid bills, and whatnot.  When the kids were born and hEt finished school and was home more, she took over.  When I was laid off, I took over again.  We each get set amounts of 'free' money to go play, the rest is all joint and budgeted. 

• Embrace your differences. 

She might do (insert house task here) DIFFERENT than you're used to (or vice versa).  THAT DOESN'T MEAN EITHER IS DOING IT WRONG.  As long as the task is DONE, who cares HOW?  While we're at it, I cook, I clean, I do dishes.  No "your job" and "My Job".  SHARE.  If you see something that needs doin, DO IT. 

• Allow each other space. 

Along with the above, really.  Allow each other space to be ALONE.  Time together is easy, really.  Time apart, now.  I've often joked the only way hEt and I remained married is we only see each other 3 days of the week.  I'm allowed to work on my projects, she's allowed to work on her hobbies, both unmolested by the other's presence. 

• SUPPORT

I recognize her hobbies, and support her.  This has included taking the kids so she can go out of town, going to events I don't care for, and knowing enough I can help with shopping or spot something she might like.  Same with her on Halloween things. 

• Kids. 

hEt is the boss, I am the enforcer.  Period.  EVERYONE knows it.  THERE IS NO running to ask the other parent.  EVER.  If we have EVER disagreed on something it was NOT in front of the kids, we talk about that later, explain our points of view (which often differ, honestly) and agree on a joint course after that. 
[/list]

Good luck, and my God bless your union. 

Coming from a gemini married to a gemini, so there's 4 of us on this island and 2 of us don't like each other all that well but are learning to live together.

[Geo]

Wait one, got to research this first...

EDIT:
Think I got it now:

You met somewhere @ Hardangervidda
You merrily pursued her @ Bryggen, Geirangerfjord, and Nigardsbreen
You popped the question @ Fantoft Stavkirke
You'll exchange vows @ Nygårdsgaten 3
Honeymoon will be @ Reine by way of Hurtigruten
Firstborn will see the light @ Trollstigen underneath Aurora Borealis

Close enough?


In any case, congratulations.

[Nikolai]

Thanks guys. And in particular Unorthodox!

[Metaliturtle]

Gonna be the divorced guy who is what you'd call a 'lapsed' Christian.

Firstly, good for you, I'm glad you found someone, that can be hard.

The only advice I'm going to give is this:  When you're married you both need to agree that your marriage comes before EVERYTHING, and live it.
 
A happy marriage is pleasing to God. 

Although your kids are important, if mom and dad aren't good then they're not good, put your spouse before your kids and vice versa.

Your marriage comes before her family or yours for that matter, guess what you're your own family now.

UnO's probably right about the money stuff.

[Buster's Uncle]

What's the story at 'poly?  It's clear you and/or Ben are having a little fun w/ DLs...

BTW, she'd like it here, if you wanted to introduce her to some old friends...

[Nikolai]

What's the story at 'poly?  It's clear you and/or Ben are having a little fun w/ DLs...

BTW, she'd like it here, if you wanted to introduce her to some old friends...

No, neither Ben nor I am doing DLs, actually. She said she wanted to register and reply some. Then when she registered she accidentally used Le instead of La and decided to have some fun.:p

[Buster's Uncle]

...I just let my mother on here, to look at the pictures of my sister's house in another thread.  It's a righteous space we have going here, that passes the not-embarrass-my-mom test...

[Nikolai]

Astrid says she's going to buy me this shirt, saying in Norwegian "I don't need google, my wife knows everything!".

[Buster's Uncle]

[Unorthodox]

...I just let my mother on here, to look at the pictures of my sister's house in another thread.  It's a righteous space we have going here, that passes the not-embarrass-my-mom test...

hmm....do I listen to the little devil today or not....

[Buster's Uncle]

Go for it - she won't see.

[Buster's Uncle]

Hey Nik - I got a Mood to be Kind and sent Ben a PM expressing some sympathy and offering some observations about one's role in a culture and taking ownership (man up and clean up, in short), and he's pretending he's not all that upset.  I don't think I know him, but I think I know him better than to believe that.  Thoughts?

And - hold on if you see this before I post again; I gotta little something for you coming that I think won't take long before I crash to bed early tonight...