Star Trek

[Buster's Uncle]

It was over my Sister Miriam deuglified at Apolyton.  I didn't let on at the time, but I was really, really cheesed off by your first post about it, before I got to know you.  [shrugs]  It's all good, man.

I've done several iterations since then - you can find everything to date here in the last post of the first page and the first of the second.  I'm pretty happy with the last try.

...

Y'know - there's no accounting for taste, and someone on the internet being wrong about a matter of opinion isn't ever as important as it seems to one's inner child.  I really can't believe that, for example, anyone could possibly think Chakotay was cool, even Robert Beltran's mother, but I'll save my anger/distain about fakes and abominations for Rick Berman and J.J. Abrams, where it belongs.  I just can't get as worked up about this stuff as I could in 1987 -- but then, that's a good thing.

[Tarvok]

The Miriam thing? Huh. I guess I just really suck at giving constructive criticism. That or I remember it incorrectly.

I do hope the tone of my post here made it clear that I'm not trying to hurt anyone, just actively poking the bull, mostly because I know you can take it... or pretty sure, anyway. I don't do that to someone I don't know. Not unless they're *really* asking for it, and even then, it's all in good fun.

Maybe if I adopted a British accent and made my rants into funny videos... :p

I do maintain, however, that excluding The Next Generation from "Real" Star Trek goes beyond questions of taste. DS9 I can see, though I even if it isn't "Star Trek" as such, I still believe it a legitimate spinoff.

[Buster's Uncle]

It's --- tough to put a finger on it, but the original had something that none of the knock-offs did, and I include the movies in that.  You're - what?  In your thirties?  Some of it's historical context that's almost completely impossible to explain to someone who hasn't watched the old Flash Gordon serials, hasn't watched ST-contemporary crap like Voyage to the bottom of the Sea, Lost in Space...  There was nothing, nothing, nothing, out there in TV/movie SF that was as smart and well-done, save Twilight Zone for TV and Forbidden Planet for movies, by an order or two of magnitude until Star Wars came along.  I remember being so starved for science fiction that I watched Space 1999 every week; go dig up a few episodes of that stinker sometime, and tell me it doesn't make real Star Trek look like Shakespeare.  The likes of the Buck Rogers show and the real Battlestar Galactica weren't even trying for THAT smart, for all of being better-made TV.  By the time TNG came along, things were improving, and it wouldn't have been as special even if it had been as good.

Some of it - the first season of TNG wasn't just a little bit bad; it was wretched beyond all bearing, and I never really got over the disappointment.  Some of it is nothing more or less than the same reason I've always felt hostility to Star Wars - I LOVE Star Wars, actually, but Star Wars fans piss me off.  Most can't survive the challenge to tell me they've actually WATCHED all or most of Star Trek, and need to STFU and quit picking fights like hyper children.  Same thing with fake ST fans, pretty much.

There was something in the style of all the BermanTrek, once they'd finally found their style three years into TNG that put me off; the techno-babble that maybe superficially sounded more scientific, but really wasn't.  The smirk on Riker's face whenever Picard was talking and Jonathan Frakes didn't know what else to do.  The holodeck adventure after holodeck adventure after holodeck adventure, all too often combined with the 'Regular X wakes up in a weird situation and doesn't know what's real' plot they drove into the ground for something close to 10 years straight.  The writing wasn't very good, for the most part.

I don't know, man; I don't know.  There was something in Star Trek that really spoke to me, and wasn't even there in the movies, let alone all the imposters and zombie copies that followed.  Star Trek is very important to me, went away a very long time ago, and, as Steven R. Donaldson said in The Wounded Land, "There's only one way to hurt a man who's lost everything. Give him back something broken."

[Unorthodox]

There was nothing, nothing, nothing, out there in TV/movie SF that was as smart and well-done, save Twilight Zone for TV and Forbidden Planet for movies

Do I need to go round up some Whovians to come lay some smack down? 
 

Movie wise, I think you are painting your strokes far too broad.  The 60's were a great time for scifi movies with HG Wells adaptations galore, and even Hammer horror tossing in Quatermass and the Pit, and of course you know me and Planet of the Apes.  But, come on, you have to give some credit to 2001 at the very least! Don't make me go posting videos of Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, now!

[Unorthodox]

Doctor Who (1963) - Original Theme music video

[Buster's Uncle]

Doctor Who is an interesting case; my sister was saying just the other day how sad she feels when she talks to kids who like the revival - they'll never be able to go back and enjoy the originals because it was done for a bag of dirt by people intending to make a childrens' show, and even the very best stories were too long by half.  -Which is sad, what with the very best being pretty darn good, even padded, and they miss out on so much of that universe.


Of course you're right about me doing a grave injustice to a number of movies.  Even in the strictly 50s cheese mode,  I left off The Day the Earth Stood Still and This Island Earth.

I don't think we've ever discussed Planet of the Apes.  I'm just the age that that one really got to me - I even have fond memories of the TV series, and in fact, the crappy cartoon.  Apes is worth its own thread.

[Unorthodox]

My Dr Who experience is limited to the 4th Dr.  The others just tend to bore me (probably to do with a lot more horror emphasis during the 4th Dr's episodes).  I just know the whovians are quite fanatical. 


And probably one of the best theme songs ever. 

[Unorthodox]

Of course you're right about me doing a grave injustice to a number of movies.  Even in the strictly 50s cheese mode

Riders to the Stars. 

Kick ass paper mache space mummy at 2:04 that kept me up nights...

A Blundered Meteor Retrieval in "Riders To The Stars" - 1954

[Buster's Uncle]

THAT is some bad model FX right there. 

Y'know, I pity the kids who can't rock at all with some good cheese like that.

[Unorthodox]

To think that was pretty standard of the day, too. 

That space mummy is still creepy as hell.  Bad anatomy adds to it I think.  Evil space alien mummy thing.  Maybe one day I'll muster up the courage to do an alien theme... 

[Buster's Uncle]

Captain Pike and his Female First Officer were replaced with scrappy womanizer William Shatner James Tiberius Kirk. This is also known as "Dumbing Down". You want True Trek, you have to go to The Next Generation, which lacked the Executive Meddling aspect of the series. The name similarity between Pike and Picard is no accident.

(Italics added.)

Life is too short for a point-by-point refutation of every factual error in the post I pulled the above quote from, but someone already did all the work for me on the ignorant canard about womanizing Kirk:

The Captain Kirk Womanizing Fallacy Pt. 1 - LONG

Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise gets a bad rap for being a galactic womanizer. Let's face it -- as soon as I mentioned his name, you immediately think of him with a girl at every Starbase, or spreading his space seed (heh) to every tin-foil bikini-clad green chick with a beehive hairdo that he possibly can. People joke about it all the time -- there's even a line in Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country that references it.

But the facts simply do not bear this reputation out.

Season One:

1. Where No Man Has Gone Before - Kirk does not flirt with Elizabeth Dehner -- he's too worried that his buddy Gary Lockwood is turning into Dark Phoenix to notice that she's doing the same thing, just more slowly.

2. Corbomite Maneuver - Kirk is too busy keeping the kid who drinks tranya from destroying the ship, and makes a snide comment about Starfleet giving him a hot yeoman in a red miniskirt and ugly beehive instead of a male yeoman. Okay, chauvanistic remark. No space nookie yet.

3. Mudd's Women - Harry Mudd brings space sluts hopped up on space goofballs and Rigellian aphrodesiacs on board. Kirk falls under influence. He's a victim in this case.

4. The Enemy Within - Transporter accident separates Kirk's aggressive, animalistic side with his passive, pussy side. The aggressive side attacks the hot yeoman from episode 2. Again, Kirk is vicitim to a plot device and not in control.

5. The Man Trap - Salt vampire disguises itself as McCoy's long-lost childhood sweetheart. Uhura practically spreads her legs for Spock on the bridge, but no nookie for Kirk.

6. The Naked Time - space virus gets everybody drunk. What does Kirk talk about in his drunken ramblings? The Enterprise. Not women.

7. Charlie X - Kirk has to teach a teenage boy with superpowers why it's bad to flirt with hot beehive-wearing yeomen, young boy doesn't get it (and who can blame him). No nookie for Kirk.

8. Balance of Terror - Kirk looks for a German submarine -- er, cloaked Romulan warship -- and performs a wedding. No nookie.

9. What Are Little Girls Made Of? - Nurse Chapel's long-lost fiancé forces a hot android chick to make out with Kirk and then slap him a lot. Again, Kirk's the victim.

10. Dagger of the Mind - A hot psychiatrist who flirted with Kirk at the ship's Christmas party that year uses an evil mind control device to make Kirk think he's madly in love with her. She's the aggressor, he's again the victim.

11. Miri - A two-hundred year old adolescent girl and the Yeoman Beehive vie for Kirk's affections while he's busy trying to survive a killer virus. Yeoman Beehive professes her love of Kirk and we never see her again (as it should be in real life).

12. Conscience of the King - The first time Kirk sort of falls for a woman, she tries to kill him because she's, well, crazy, and Kirk can finger her dad for being the escaped fugitive he is. No on-screen evidence that Kirk and the girl do anything other than hold hands and kiss on an observation deck. Kirk's the aggressor this time, bad choice on his part. So we're 1 for 12, but he doesn't nail her.

13. Galileo Seven - Kirk's too busy looking for Spock and McCoy who are lost in a shuttlecraft to worry about women. Besides, the last girl he asked out tried to kill him.

14. Court Martial - The prosecuting attorney in Kirk's court martial trial asks him to kiss her on the bridge after she's lost the case. She's the aggressor. Kirk does oblige, though -- 2 willing kisses in 14 episodes.

15. The Menagerie - Spock's courtmartial and airing of original pilot. No nookie here, though the hot yeoman who greets Kirk when he beams down has heard stories about him and keeps flirting with him.

16. Shore Leave - McCoy's making time with a female science officer and Kirk's pining for the girl he dated while at Starfleet Academy. No nookie, but fun fight scenes with the recreation of his old Academy nemesis.

17. The Squire of Gothos - Q's [progeny of unmarried parents] son picks on Kirk. Tally ho! No nookie.

18. Arena - Kirk's too busy fighting an asthmatic lizardman. I. Will. Not. Kill. ...Today. Yeswe'rehumanbeings,yeswe'resavages. But I. Won't. Kill. Today.

19. Alternative Factor - There's no way to tell what the hell is going on in this psychadelic mind trip, but I can guarantee there's no women involved.

20. Tomorrow is Yesterday - Kirk's too concerned with getting the ship out of the 20th century and into the 23rd without altering the timelines. No women.

21. Return of the Archons - A young girl flirts with one of Kirk's officers in the landing party, but Kirk's too busy convincing the computer that runs the planet to shut itself off to notice.

22. A Taste of Armageddon - Kirk briefly tries flirting with a planetary dignitary who's too focused on the war her planet's waging with another via computer. She insists he's dead because the computer says so, Kirk uses other means to escape and teach them that War Is Bad instead.

23. Space Seed - Khaaaannnnn!!!! The only hot female on this episode is soaking the cushions for Khan, so Kirk's main focus is saving the ship yet again.

24. This Side of Paradise - Space spores make Spock fall in love with the girl who already wanted him. Kirk's too busy trying to get Spock to remember his priorities. No girl for Kirk.

25. Devil In The Dark - Kirk negotiates peace between an angry mob of miners and an egg-laying pepperoni pizza bubble. No women here.

26. Errand of Mercy - Kirk vs. the Klingons for the first time. No women, although the Organians come across as [ladyparts, sissies] in the beginning.

27. City on the Edge of Forever - Kirk falls for Edith Keeler but must let her die in order for the future to be restored. Tragic. He's in the '30s and it's '60s t.v., so the most they do is hold hands and kiss.

28. Operation: Annihilate - Space pancakes kill a Federation colony. Kirk watches his widowed sister-in-law descend into madness, pain and death, and Spock is nearly killed by a space pancake.

So -- in the entirety of the first season, while we have six women throwing or forcing themselves on Kirk, when he shows genuine interest in two women -- two -- all he does with them is hold hands and kiss.

Sounds like a real womanizer to me.

My next entry will be Season 2. Then we'll do Season 3 and the movies.

http://uncle-twitchy.livejournal.com/16916.html

[Buster's Uncle]

The Captain Kirk Womanizing Fallacy Pt. 2 - LONG

Continuing our analysis of the original Star Trek, in our quest to determine why, exactly, Captain Kirk has this reputation for being an intergalactic horndog.

Season Two:

29. Catspaw - Pipe-cleaner/fuzzball aliens disguising themselves as humans for Halloween. The "female" alien decides she wants to know what this thing called "kiss" is, and forces herself on Kirk, who just wants to get away. She's the agressor, Kirk's the victim. Familiar scenario, huh?

30. Metamorphosis - Andy Taylor's first girlfriend Elly (before Helen Crump) is dying, so she merges with an alien energy being that wants to know what this thing called "kiss" is so it can do it with a pre-James Cromwell Zephram Cochrane, back when he was from Alpha Centauri and not Earth. Kirk watches with a bemused smirk.

31. Friday's Child - Julie "Catwoman" Newmar's pregnant and the Klingons want the baby. Or something. Kirk has little patience for her bitching. No nookie involved.

32. Who Mourns For Adonais? - The god Apollo grabs the Enterprise and tries to force the crew to re-enact the Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony scene from "Fantasia" for all eternity. Kirk convinces the hottie anthropology officer who's all wet with the idea to set her priorities straight and focus on saving the ship. No nookie for Kirk, but Apollo may have gotten some -- he's a Greek god, after all.

33. Amok Time - Spock in heat, and Kirk's caught up in Vulcan courting rituals and nearly dies. No nookie for anyone but Stonn.

34. The Doomesday Machine - Attack of the planet-eating Nabisco bugle. Kirk's with Scotty and his crack engineering team on board the U.S.S. Constellation the entire episode. No women.

35. Wolf in the Fold - The only women here are killed by Jack the Ripper, and Kirk doesn't flirt with any of them.

36. The Changeling - I Am Nomad. I Am Perfect. I Am Not A Sexbot. No nookie for anyone, although Scotty gets killed and then "turned back on," and Uhura's mind gets wiped and she has to learn everything again.

37. The Apple - Chekov gets some Yeoman Hottie action while the bewildered natives gawk and try to figure out what this thing called "kiss" is, but Kirk's too busy trying to shut off the computer that runs the planet to care.

38. MIrror, Mirror - Kirk gets jumped by Evil Kirk's Cabin [promiscuous] but he simply uses the situation to get more information on his evil self -- and manipulates her into saving his life. This is the first time I can think of that Kirk actively takes advantage of the woman who pursues him, but he does so in the interest of his crew, and it's still her pursuing him.

39. The Deadly Years - One of his old flames helps solve the weird aging disease that's affecting Kirk and Co., but they just mention a past relationship -- no bridge kissing, but she's clearly still in love with him and he's not with her.

40. I, Mudd - Thanks to the efforts of our intrepid captain trying to rescue his ship and crew, android twins learn what this thing called "kiss" is, but that's all part of trying to mess with their "logic circuits" or somesuch.

41. The Trouble With Tribbles - Tribbles and Klingons. No one needs to learn what this thing called "kiss" is for any reason, and Kirk's pretty grumpy throughout -- mostly because William Schallert (Patty Duke's dad) is a dick.

42. Bread and Circuses - The space Romans throw a hot blonde space slave at Kirk to get him to join the space Roman church softball team or somesuch, but Kirk's too disturbed by watching Spock and McCoy in short pants and fighting in gladitorial combat to fall for it. "You hear that, Flavius? It won't work!"

43. Journey to Babel - Spock's folks visit, and Kirk fights an Orion disguised as an Andorian. No one makes out with Jane Wyatt, though she strokes Mark Lenard's fingers.

44. A Private Little War - Kirk's space buddy Tyree's wife (a kanutu woman, if that means anything to you) decides she's hot for Kirk because he's got a phaser, so she casts a kanutu space spell on him to get all hot for her -- she's the agressor, Kirk's the victim, the Klingons kill her before it goes much further.

45. The Gamesters of Triskelion - Okay. This one I'll give you to a point. After all, Kirk takes it upon himself to teach space hottie Angelique Pettijohn (who would later do cheap porn films) what this thing called "kiss" is for no reason other than to watch her writhe in pain when she gets so worked up her collar short circuits. But like in "Mirror Mirror," he does it to get information on how to escape an otherwise intolerable situation. Fifty quatloos on the newcomer.

46. Obsession - Kirk's obsessed with a gas cloud that kills people. No women.

47. The Immunity Syndrome - Kirk prevents a giant space ameoba from eating the ship. No women.

48. A Piece of the Action - Kirk's caught up having too much fun playing space gangster to even notice there are women.

49. By Any Other Name - Kirk teaches the nasty cthuluoid monster disguised in human form what this thing called "kiss" is in order to freak her out with the human emotions she's experiencing as part of a plan to save the ship and crew.

50. Return to Tomorrow - Kirk briefly flirts with Diana Muldaur before their minds are put into glass jars by ancient aliens who want robot bodies. The aliens may do it off screen, but there's no concrete evidence to suggest it, and besides -- Kirk's in a jar for most of the episode.

51. Patterns of Force - Kirk's busy fighting space Nazis. The one woman on the show is pretending to be space-Jew hating Nazi but is really focused on stopping the space Fuhrer. Kirk doesn't even bother flirting with her.

52. The Ultimate Computer - dosn't even boot up properly and kills a bunch of Federation officers. No women.

53. The Omega Glory - Kirk's too busy reciting the preamble to the Consitution to notice that the only woman in the episode kinda digs Spock.

54. Assignment: Earth - Terri Garr is utterly adorable, but Kirk's too busy trying to figure out what the hell he's doing in a pilot for an unproduced series to notice.

So. Season Two, Kirk takes advantage of three women (well, two woman and one space slug disguised as a woman) in order to protect the ship - and all he does is kiss them. We have four more women throwing themselves at him, but he's too focused on saving the ship to notice or he's under the influence of of magical space mojo. And he tries to short circuit a robot by kissing it.

Still say he's a womanizer? Let's go on to Season Three...

http://uncle-twitchy.livejournal.com/17312.html

[Buster's Uncle]

The Captain Kirk Womanizing Fallacy Pt. 3 - LONG

Okay, so far, as we've seen by the actual on-screen evidence, for a man with a reputation as being this huge lady killer, Captain Kirk hasn't even gotten lucky, the two women he showed genuine affection for he simply held hands and kissed, and he's been the subject of sexual aggression by no fewer than 10 women -- that's 10 in 54 episodes. Oh, and he used his obvious sexual charm to get three other female creatures and one robot to help him save his ship or crew.

So.

Season Three:

55. Spectre of the Gun - Aliens force Kirk and Co. to play Gunfight at the O.K. Coral. Chekov get's the space saloon girl.

56. Elaan of Troyius - While testing the Taming of the Shrew principle with a hot alien ambassador, Kirk inadvertantly falls under the spell of her space love potion, but is eventually able to shake off the effects in order to save the ship.

57. The Paradise Syndrome - Under amnesia on a planet of space Indians, Kirk -- as the tribe's medicine man Kirok -- falls in love with the local Indian princess, marries her, and gets her pregnant with his child, while Spock spends months trying to figure out where the on-switch to the phasers are so he can destroy an asteroid. So -- Kirk gets laid: 1 out of 57.

58. The Enterprise Incident - Spock makes time with a hot Romulan commander while Kirk plays Romulan spy in order to steal a cloaking device.

59. And The Children Shall Lead - Lead us right into lameness, that is. The devil tries to get kids to make Kirk take him to another planet. Why? No women.

60. Spock's Brain - Space bimbos steal Spock's brain and are too dumb to understand why Kirk would want it back. They're too stupid to even ask what this thing called "kiss" is, so Kirk doesn't even bother.

61. Is There In Truth No Beauty? - Kirk kinda likes blind ambassador Diana Muldaur, but Spock goes crazy, cockblocking the whole mess. I don't remember if Kirk teachs the ambassador what this thing called "kiss" is, but I suspect she already knows -- oh, and did I forget to mention she's crazy?

62. The Empath - Kirk, Spock, McCoy and a cute deaf mute girl play out some weird S&M fantasy for sadistic aliens until Kirk gets bored with it.

63. The Tholian Web - Kirk spends the entire episode in a spacesuit stuck between two dimensions.

64. For The World Is Hollow, And I Have Touched The Sky - McCoy gets a fatal disease, so naturally he choses to abandon his medical career to live with a hottie on an asteroid doomed to a collision course with a plot device. Kirk spends the entire episode trying to figure out if McCoy's being serious.

65. Day of the Dove - A glowing ball of energy forces Klingons and Enterprise crew to fight for its amusement. Kirk takes one look at Kang's wife Mara, decides Koloth was kidding when he said Klingons don't take "non-essentials" (i.e. women) on their missions, and goes on to laugh the glowing energy ball off the ship.

66. Plato's Stepchildren - Kirk is forced to kiss Lt. Uhura by telepathic aliens pretending to uphold the platonic ideal. Now, if it was me, I wouldn't have had to have been forced -- she was extremely hot back then -- but he's too distracted by his attempts to escape the aliens' evil clutches and too angry that he has to be forced to do this to enjoy it.

67. Wink of an Eye - The hot alien who moves faster than the human eye can see brings Kirk "up to speed" and then nails him so that she can get knocked up and ensure the survival of her species, since all their men are sterile. Kirk clearly enjoys it, and who wouldn't, but he's ultimately more concerned with escaping her clutches. The only other on-screen evidence that Kirk "got some," and she was the aggressor.

68. That Which Survives - Alien robot disguised as Lee "Catwoman" Meriweather runs around killing people by touching them. Defines "bad touch." Kirk avoids.

69. Let That Be Your Last Battlefield - The Riddler and some other guy paint themselves like checkerboards and spout bigoted rhetoric to belabor a point. No women.

70. Whom Gods Destroy - Batgirl appears as a green Orion chick living on an insane asylum. She tries to rape Kirk, but he's distracted by the former starfleet captain who can change into other people, including Kirk himself, to really notice.

71. The Mark of Gideon - A planet so overpopulated it has standing room only inexplicably builds an empty mockup of the Enterprise, lures Kirk into thinking he's in a Twilight Zone episode, and force one of the planetary leader's daughters on him so she can catch the flu and spread it among their people so they'll start dying off. Kirk realizes how truly sick and twisted this plan (and planet) is and runs (no doubt irritated that there's no computer running the place to shut off).

72. The Lights of Zetar - Bad sparkle effects representing the souls of a dead planet possess Scotty's new girlfriend. No women for Kirk.

73. The Cloud Minders - The planet leader's daughter is hot for Spock, the rebel miner is too busy trying to start a revolution, and Kirk's just trying to survive the inanity of this season's episodes.

74. The Way To Eden - The Space Hippies may be all about space peace, space love, and freaky space joy, and they truly grok Spock, and one of them used to groove on Chekov (who already has better luck with women than our "womanizing" Captain at this point), but Kirk himself is totally squaresville, daddy.

75. Requiem for Methuselah - Kirk makes yet another wrong choice and falls for a girl who turns out to be a robot. By the end, she's destroyed and Spock mindmelds the whole thing out of Kirk's memory.

76. The Savage Curtain - Evil chunks of lava force Kirk, Spock, and Abraham Lincoln to fight Genghis Khan. The less said, the better. No women for Kirk.

77. All Our Yesterdays - Kirk, Spock and McCoy end up on a dying planet's distant past. While Spock falls in love, Kirk gets tried for witchcraft. No nookie.

78. Turnabout Intruder - One of Kirk's old girlfriends (who was clearly crazy and that's why he broke up with her -- "Whoa, honey, you're too unstable for me!") forces him to switch bodies. She then goes on a power-mad freakout until the crew mutiny and put the real Kirk back in his body.


The movies are quick and easy to assess:

Motion Picture: V'Ger wasn't a woman, and when it made the mock-up of Lt. Ilia, Cmdr. Decker was the one who benefited.

Wrath of Khan: Runs into an old, old girlfriend with whom he had a [progeny of unmarried parents] son. They obviously had a serious relationship in the past but different career paths broke them up.

Search for Spock: No women

Voyage Home: Kirk is obviously attracted to the mom from 7th Heaven, but she's too obsessed with her whales to care.

Final Frontier: No women.

Undiscovered Country: He flirts with the Chameloid (she, again, is the aggressor -- in more ways than one) and McCoy makes his snide, unwarranted comment, "What is it about you?"

Generations: Kirk remembers a breakup with a woman he was living with during a brief hiatus from Starfleet. Other than that, he's dead.

As we have seen, therefore, we have the only two actual on-screen instances that show Kirk to have gotten laid, one of which he was being captive and coerced (no matter how much he enjoyed it, and who would blame him?), the other he was genuinely in love. We have two instances where Kirk actually falls for women, but both relationships are doomed -- one dies, the other is a robot who is destroyed. We have one instance of Kirk falling under the influence of mind-controlling chemicals to fall for a woman, one instance of alien coercion, and another psycho throwing herself at him. Oh, and the whole weird mind-switch thing.

In total, that means Kirk really only ever pursued five women on the entire 78-episode run, and one woman casually in one of the movies. Three died (or were destroyed), the other two were bat[poop]crazy. However, we have fourteen instances of women throwing themselves at Kirk, three or four of which Kirk used to save his ship or crew. Oh, and one instance of Kirk deliberately manipulating an alien female's emotions so he wouldn't have to fight cavemen and andorians for the amusement of brains in a jar.

So, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I submit to you that, in answer to Dr. McCoy's question to Captain James T. Kirk on the Rura Penthe penal asteroid in 2293 is this: he is a charming, confident, and determined man dedicated to his ship and his crew, which the ladies find extremely attractive.

They throw themselves at him, and he very, very rarely responds unless it's in the best interest of the safety of his ship and crew, his first priority. The few times he has been genuinely attracted to women outside his career and therefore disregards his priorities have all ended in disaster. All cliché aside, he is truly married to his ship.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is my firm belief that Captain Kirk's reputation as a interstellar womanizer is therefore unwarranted and totally fallacious. Is he a flirt? Absolutely. Does he hesitate to kiss a beautiful woman who throws herself into his arms? Very rarely -- he's a man's man, after all, and only rejects the truly crazy ones. But he never, never ceases to keep the safety of his ship and his crew his top priority.

I rest my case.

http://uncle-twitchy.livejournal.com/17434.html

Now, I fully grant that Uncle Twitchy (no relation) is a little too picky -Kirk pretty clearly gave in to the girl in Bread and Circuses, for example- but even granting that a lot of those women Twitchy dismisses as 'nothing happened' actually got his pants off offscreen, women came to him, not the other way around.  Kirk, for all that he was a charmer who was capable of giving it up when a hot lady insisted, or even being a man-[prostitute]when it might save his people (and the woman was hot), was a very lonely man who refused to fish off the company pier when he was sober and sane, and in fact, seemed to be one of those fellows who was really only interested in finding The One.

[Unorthodox]

was a very lonely man who refused to fish off the company pier when he was sober and sane

Well, there are those that think Kirk was a little more interested in Spock as well....

[Buster's Uncle]

Yeah, and the fat girls into a little boy-on-boy usually have to invoke Pon Farr or some other unusual circumstance to make it work - look, in The Enemy Within the first thing Evil Kirk does is head to sick bay to get Bones to liquor him up -which means Kirk is normally too much of a boy scout to keep any booze in his quarters- and, having gotten his drink on, does he head for the bridge to commence his conquest of the universe?  No, he goes looking for Rand, 'cause he's clearly always wanted to hit that, but was too much of a boy scout.  He wouldn't do Spock when he was in his right mind, if for no other reason than the same one that he normally wouldn't touch Rand or Helen Noel.  He's a workaholic, and screwing his underlings is both a bad idea, practically speaking, and unethical.  He cares about doing the right thing and he cares about running his command well.  Mylochka says that Star Trek is ultimately about workaholic Kirk's problems with his job.  (I add that TNG, in that light, is largely about Picard [slowly] working out the best solution he can to whatever dilemma the current adventure presents.)

Get Kirk drunk, evil, or crazy enough, and he's trouble, granted.