hurricane Helene didn't get me

[Buster's Uncle]

I do remember "shoving something in there" as things were burning up, posting with the expectation that things were about to be doomed.  You're saying I literally had the last post before the Great Forum Outage??

I do not know for sure, and can think of no good way to check - but I do think so.  Again, I saw several posts by you on the morning of the 10th that I do not recall ever seeing before.  I'd remember the off topic-ish stuff in Council Room.  It's the smart bet.

[bvanevery]

That's far out.  Well I guess it had to be someone.

[Buster's Uncle]

[Buster's Uncle]

Looks to be this, found in Building a Community...

I think a game binary that actually integrates messaging and AAR writing, might be a market opportunity for 4X games.  Compared to the typical dev trend of "we'll outsource to Discord".  But, the only person who's going to write that forum integrated 4X game, is me.  And I know very well, all the kinds of work that are needed, that aren't that.  Thing is though, I actually have the modding and AAR background to understand these issues well.

[bvanevery]

OMG, the timestamp of death!  And did you say it got posted in the Council Room?  That's an odd choice if I made it.

[Buster's Uncle]

Yep.

[bvanevery]

Maybe it's as simple as I was in a hurry, knowing that the hammer could fall.

[Buster's Uncle]

Yeah - that's the conclusion I'd drawn.

Hey - some policy for you, since we're technically off-topic for this thread, but there's no ot in your own thread unless you don't want it there.  -I slept late, and am still waking up, may not make sense yet.-  As a matter of cordial behavior, I take a loose position on thread discipline, preferring to let conversations go where they want to - but you have the right, in your own thread, to tell me to get out, or at least not belabor some subject you don't want here - Uno has done exactly that to me in his Halloween/Uno's art thread when --- something political came up.

A member asked me to plonk about a page worth of derailing old posts in an on topic area thread of his recently, and I looked over the posts, agreed, and plonked.  His purpose was served better w/ the ot stuff gone.  I don't much like disappearing stuff, but there it is.

I'm not real strict about enforcement anywhere, less so anything in this folder -but I wouldn't mind if you stopped posting to poo-poo the view in the Volcano thread- more so in any on-topic area, and most so in Council Room, where I post important forum business, policy announcements and such, that I don't want buried in chatter.

This folder is for chatter, and it's my favorite board, frankly...

[bvanevery]

Social venues like a rec commons are more relaxed by design and my own thread is in that spirit.

I don't think I understand what you're saying about the volcano thread.  Perhaps because I actually misread someone's previous post about the spout being too small, when they actually said the opposite.  I would caution you about assuming people's intents or assuming the worst.

[Buster's Uncle]

I would caution you about the converse - the appearance is what I describe, arguably.  "Volcanos are NOT neat" is not the topic, y'know?  These things happen, and now you know a possible appearance/interpretation.

[bvanevery]

I've redrafted a few completely different ways to address your point.  The basic question of social contract, is what we owe someone else.

For instance, do I owe people minding my words carefully, about a volcano?  I say no, I don't.  People getting offended about a volcano, doesn't seem like my bad.  Now maybe at a science conference, where people's research reputations are on the line and one knows they're a testy crowd anyways, I'd think differently.  Not on a usual web forum though.  It's just a curiosity, a discussion piece.  It's not Star Trek, something I would actually expect people to get heated about.

"We don't share the same level of seriousness, or the same level of stakes" is something I've seen in face to face communities as well.  There was this guy in the Asheville Introverts.  He bemoaned the treatment he got from an Asheville gaming group, which I happened to get kicked out of more than a decade ago, so I could relate.  Long story short, next time he showed up, they announced "The serious gamers are playing over here" and quickly and obviously moved passive aggressively away from him.  Like a secular version of shunning or something.

Of course he just laughed.  He's an ex-Marine and seems mainly interested in a good time.

[Buster's Uncle]

Important concept you raise there - if you deem it trivial, why waste time asserting yourself?

Under it all, I'm with your marine; I'm here to have a good time.

[bvanevery]

Not sure what "asserting yourself" refers to in this context.  It sounds like the perspective of the parties offended, not the person who makes the remark.  The person making the remark, is probably only seeking to socialize.  That's a basic human need.

Case in point, the Marine.  He wanted to play these games to have a good time.  Very casual, and in his case, definitely some clowning.  I could totally see that.  Heck, if you've fought wars for real, maybe in a board game you'd drive tanks around in crazy doughnuts just for the lols?  Might be a good way to cope with any potential PTSD, although we didn't talk about that.  He seemed pretty well adjusted, the time we met him, and I wouldn't hesitate to be an at event with him again.  But sometimes humor and clowning is how some people cope.  Or maybe it's just the way he is, his basic "resting state", and seems different only because many of us are not like that.

Put him with guys who have been seriously trying to tactically beat the snot out of each other for over a year, well something less than hilarity might ensue!  Go away you mere mortal peon pleb.  You ain't gud, yew'd better git gud before you talk to us again.

I had my own version of the serious / more casual mismatch back in the day.  I expect people to smile, backstab, and ruthlessly throttle each other.  I grew up playing the board game Diplomacy.  Well that isn't a fit to more contemporary "Eurogamer" sensibilities.

I haven't actually found a "good" gaming group that matches my current life needs.  I bemoaned this to someone at a hardcore geek gaming shop in Asheville called The Wyvern's Tale.  The guy said yeah, it's hard.  I got an earful of his life journey on that subject.  He had quite a bond with his group.  Can't remember if he said it was somewhat past tense now or not.

[Buster's Uncle]

Important Life Principle there - if offending don't get you laid nor paid, maybe try not to offend.  Other people Being Wrong is rarely your problem, outside politics, and why go MAKE it your problem?

I never said anyone complained, no one has, just, I have a duty as host here, which makes it my problem IF there's a problem.  -And I'm trying to head something off before anyone has a problem.

For instance, do I owe people minding my words carefully, about a volcano?  I say no, I don't.  People getting offended about a volcano, doesn't seem like my bad.

And I think this speaks to that issue of being likeable and liked - this here's Nerd Bad Attitude that makes no friends.  Being true is only a defense in Libel cases, not social things.  Hypothetically, if I were to repeatedly assert some truth I've sussed out to someone who doesn't get it, trying to persuade, but to someone broadly hinting they don't want to argue/discuss it all along, THAT's boorish behavior and I'd be in the wrong, as a social rule, not even Site Policy, just the people rules as they were already in place when I showed up in 1964, and not going to change.

This is all offered in a helpful spirit, and I hope you see that, and it's doing my job as host, too...