Alpha Centauri 2

Community => Recreation Commons => Topic started by: Unorthodox on August 28, 2013, 02:11:26 PM

Title: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Unorthodox on August 28, 2013, 02:11:26 PM

What I am coming to realize had become a major portion of my routine was blown to hell last week. 


Roughly 15 years ago, I had settled into a radio schedule to get me through the day.  2 shows would put me to within a few hours of quitting time.   

First up was a local shock jock.  Little music, little comedy.  But, he had gotten himself on a crusade, as kids were getting hit in crosswalks, and he was campaigning to change some laws and bring awareness.  He would be in school zones in the morning, and interview people pulled over...er tear them up on air.  Naturally, a lot of local politicians took up this fight as a PR stunt, and a lot of local celebs started ripping into people on air.  One was the then mayor of SLC...except she kept backing out at the last minute.  A couple weeks of her backing out every day, the local shock jock, live, "that [female dog] stood us up again".  He didn't come back after the commercial break. 

The next day, we had a nationally syndicated show on instead. 

While initially pissed how that went down, I grew fond of the new show, as it was mostly news and professional commedians.  A couple years later, the original morning show was brought back, but in the afternoon, which worked out great for me as it covered both my drives. 

Last monday, the national show was pulled, and the afternoon show moved back to mornings.  I've found my days just arent the same since.  While the show if fine for a 20 minute drive, it don't hold my attention for 4 hours like the national show could.  Been really struggling and the days just seem to drag now. 

One silly little change to the routine...

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 28, 2013, 02:34:40 PM

I'm a nerd.  I hate change.  Readin' you load and clear.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Rusty Edge on August 29, 2013, 03:28:23 PM

Routines make one more productive. They also help you relax, as scheduled.

I don't have much routine. I'm more of an "island time " guy these days.

However, some routines are nice, and others are unavoidable. For example- We have a house cleaning crew come every two weeks. My wife and I have dinner dates twice a week- Fridays, and whatever night the cleaners were here.
That way she gets to look at her nice, clean kitchen. She likes the kitchen neat, because she doesn't use it , except to feed her cats. 

Except that her sister was in town staying at her mother's. So we went to  lunch with them yesterday because we had to be out of the house while the crew was working. That substituted for our dinner date this week, because they came over to visit last night. That break in routine caused me to miss the biggest event of the week in the suburbs- garbage collection!  Normally I see everybody putting theirs out as we are coming home from dinner, and since the garage door is open, I put it out then. As it was, I forgot which night of the week it happened to be.

Of course being late august, and record heat for the year, and some spoiled canned cat food in there, it's pretty ripe, and really not the week for it.  ;q;

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 04:16:18 PM

I've always thought that habits can be turned into a major virtue.  My grampa wouldn't have had nearly so much trouble, once gone senile, finding his cane if he'd had a habit about where he put it when he wasn't using it.  At least Gramma and the rest of us would have had an easier time finding it for him, had he built up a habit before it was too late.

Following on from that and getting back to daily routine, I have a little personal taste of how part of senility might feel.  I'm not a morning person.  Up to a few years ago, I typically woke up unable to form sentences right away, and y'know, was generally a bear.  Mylochka can confirm that my family was actually afraid of me first thing until I'd had my morning alone time and coffee.  Neurotherapy has done wonders for this just since you guys have known me, and it's helped my general stability, too.

But I'm never going to be a morning person - on top of the microwave, I keep my coffee fixin's and morning pills carefully lined up, and I have coffee making procedure carefully worked out and followed like a freekin' motion studies expert to minimize time to coffee insertion and minimize the chance that anything will set off my hindbrain and make me mad.  Leave my coffee spoon alone if you know what's good for you, in other words.  That's not a joke.

Backing up a little, my beginning-the-day routine goes:  go turn on the computer to give it time to boot while I do the rest - start the coffee - pee while I wait for the coffee to heat -  stir the creamer into the hot coffee and take my morning pills - go mess around online drinking coffee for a variable period usually lasting at least an hour before I come out and talk to anyone RL.  (If you reflect on my posting patterns, you may see that I don't tend to reply to posts made overnight nearly as readily, or almost ever at any length.)  Mylochka (or Buster's Gramma, depending on which US state I woke up in today) know to not ask me any questions and to avoid saying anything upsetting to me while I'm still stupid, sans an emergency, and not talking at all is best.  It makes me a bit of an ogre to live with, but observing those simple rules and me being able to find the spoon where I left it avoids almost all problems.

I wake up stupid and vulnerable and mean, and I need my carefully structured morning procedure to compensate...

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 04:51:49 PM

Note the brevity of my post up there yesterday - it was my second post of the day...

On habits - as a youth, I came up with the solution to being able to easily find the TV Guide when needed, suggesting that everyone only lay it down on top of the TV or on the end table next to Daddy's chair.  We later needed the same rule/habit when we finally got a TV with a remote...

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Unorthodox on August 29, 2013, 05:00:21 PM

I think for me, nighttime is generally a free-for-all.  Kids got homework, gotta be here or there, got this and that.  I have little to no contol over pretty much anything going on after I get home from work, except on those days when the kids are occupied, or the blissful sunday evening when the Boss takes them, and I can work on something. 

Mornings are MY time.  Messing with the morning, AND the drive home was just dirty, no good, rotten....

But I found the morning show is going to be on come next week on another station, so at least I got the morning 4 hours back. 

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Valka on August 29, 2013, 07:55:54 PM

Routines are helpful. These days, mine tend to revolve around what time the mail/parcel delivery gets here (because some Canada Post employees don't bother even buzzing my unit or knocking on the door, and then leave a card claiming I "wasn't home" when they tried to deliver), and making sure my cats get fresh food and water as needed. I'm on the computer most of the day, every day. Since I found out I can watch my soaps online (YouTube), I haven't watched TV in months.

I am also not a morning person. There's no shame in being a night owl; some people are simply wired that way. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital some years back, and the nurses told me they'd get me "straightened out" so I'd be "normal." You'd think that medical professionals would know better...

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 08:20:26 PM

I'm not sure that Rusty is a damaged person like the rest of us in this thread, but we really NEED our routines, don't we?

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Valka on August 29, 2013, 08:29:53 PM

Absolutely. Unless I'm dead tired or don't have the time, I have to read for at least half an hour before going to sleep. That means not on the computer - in bed, with either a real book or my Kindle (it's been hard getting used to reading a book that's plugged into the wall...).

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 08:44:56 PM

I do that, though not lately - I've been waking up early and going to bed too tired to read three pages in a row.  Bit of a manic phase in progress...

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: JarlWolf on August 29, 2013, 10:44:36 PM

I'm a mix between routine and going loopy. I wake up at 4-5 in the morning to get some food and do a jog, then I come back and cook a proper meal, I relax at my computer or go outside til noon, then in afternoons I am usually working on projects at my home. Then I crap out and sleep evenings, wake up a little bit later, go on the computer again to piss time and make me tired again, then go have another nap.

I can't have long periods of sleeping ever since a number of years ago. I may have spoken of this before but I have extreme paranoia and PTSD induced aggression, especially when I sleep, and I have a fear of my throat being slit when I am sleeping. So needless to say I am very prone to being waken up by sounds and freaking out.

So I'd say I have a dictated routine, though sometimes I do purposefully break it. I always have my habitual spots where I place things though and I get extremely pissed off if people move stuff out of the spots I keep it: even if it is illogical. Overall I'd be a very grumpy person to live with, it's probably why I never re-married.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 10:47:44 PM

Probably wise; I don't have PTSD and I'm still dangerous to wake up.  I can imagine you waking up in the middle of killing someone who was only an Afghan in your dream.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: JarlWolf on August 29, 2013, 10:58:27 PM

Its why I lock my door at night.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Rusty Edge on August 29, 2013, 11:42:15 PM

Quote from: BUncle on August 29, 2013, 08:20:26 PM

I'm not sure that Rusty is a damaged person like the rest of us in this thread, but we really NEED our routines, don't we?

I don't need routines, but as to damage....

My dad died of cancer the week I turned twelve. When a kid loses a parent at that age or younger, it changes their perspective in two basic ways-

1) It makes them a pessimist. Even when things are going well, they're looking over their shoulder for something bad to happen.  Whenever it does it's more of a "thought so!" moment than a "woe is me!" moment.

2) They grasp mortality. They think "somebody could lose an eye, or even die. It could  be me"  " rather than "Wicked cool" whenever they see some jackass stunt. I have a feeling that such kids don't grow up to be racecar drivers, unless they're indifferent  to their own survival. That career requires an "it'll happen to somebody else, not me." attitude, otherwise they drive too carefully.

Anyway,  it's not just me, or my siblings. Professors have studied this. I can share knowing looks with others who lost a parent in their pre-teen years. We just shake our heads at normal kids.

So  I may or may not be damaged-  you decide.  I take no offense either way.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 29, 2013, 11:44:29 PM

You seem to think you are, and it sounds damaged.  To my regret, we welcome you to the club.

-It's somehow comforting, actually.  I liked all of you guys people anyway, not because you have issues, but this thread makes me feel that much less alone.  And ZOMG, feeling less alone is great.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: JarlWolf on August 29, 2013, 11:47:11 PM

I consider damage to be a sickness that may develop from an event. Yours is just a perspective Rusty, it doesn't inhibit you really to the extent it makes you unstable, just a little more cautious. And I know the same perspective as even when I was a young child, the concept of mortality and losing people was not unfamiliar. I grew up in what is now known as Volgograd as a very young child during the Patriotic war. And needless to say that was an ugly place to be for anyone, let alone a civilian child.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Rusty Edge on August 30, 2013, 12:51:24 AM

Well, I'm not normal.   But I may be the better for it, at least in terms of survival, planning  and coping skills. I imagine there were a lot more people like me in earlier times, even Victorian England.  It's a shadow over my hopes , dreams, and expectations. JarlWolf is exactly right, it does not inhibit me to the point of being unstable.

I never met anyone from that pivotal historical point before, JarlWolf, although the documentaries of it are some of the most haunting things I've ever seen. I guess I supposed that the majority of the children went far east on the trains along with the steel mills, in the way that London children went north to rural areas. Would you like to talk about it now, or drop the subject?

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 30, 2013, 01:00:55 AM

My dad was a medic in Korea.  On the rare occasions he would talk about the war, as soon as he got to dead bodies he'd say "I don't want to talk about this any more".

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Valka on August 30, 2013, 01:10:12 AM

Quote from: JarlWolf on August 29, 2013, 11:47:11 PM

I consider damage to be a sickness that may develop from an event. Yours is just a perspective Rusty, it doesn't inhibit you really to the extent it makes you unstable, just a little more cautious. And I know the same perspective as even when I was a young child, the concept of mortality and losing people was not unfamiliar. I grew up in what is now known as Volgograd as a very young child during the Patriotic war. And needless to say that was an ugly place to be for anyone, let alone a civilian child.

I prefer not to think of people who have gone through horrifying and traumatic events as "damaged." Damage is something you fix (or give up on), not something you help. There's a difference.

Some years back, I helped run a Dune forum. One of the members, a young woman, was constantly getting into trouble for ignoring forum rules, and some people were offended at the blunt way she expressed herself. I was on staff there at the time, and decided to reach out to her privately, to see if there was a reason besides an anti-social attitude behind the behavior and if there was any way to help her. She ended up telling me about seeing several members of her family killed in the Balkan war. She was just a little kid, and grew up with a lot of hate and anger and sadness and it's affected how she deals with people. Most never had the patience to try to see her for herself. She's a smart person, was in university at the time we last emailed, and I truly hope she has found a way to a peaceful and productive life.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: Buster's Uncle on August 30, 2013, 01:23:03 AM

I don't choose to give the label any power; I have issues is all.

Title: Re: How locked into your routine are you?
Post by: JarlWolf on August 30, 2013, 03:39:15 AM

Valka, please mind I do not connote that damage is a completely negative, terminal expression. Its not. Sickness, trauma can be overcome or at least adapted to over time. I merely meant that sickness MAY develop from a traumatic event if left unchecked, if not properly dealt with. That's why people who do have traumatic lives and do not have the proper therapy, support or other means to cope have problems that have higher chance of developing.


As for my experiences Rusty, my biological father was not alive/not around, my mother died giving birth to me and my mother's husband hated me. And my caretakers were part of the defence of the city. Without saying me and those who took care of me tried their best to shield me and keep me away from the worst of it, but I had nowhere to go or turn to for the most part in terms of leaving, those who cared for me were attached there. It is why I eventually did go into the military because its what I grew up in, my parental figures and those who did love and care for me, nurture me were involved with it. There is other reasoning as well, and that subject is a lot more personal and is not something im comfortable to speak about.
And as for the subject itself... I probably would discontinue it just to be safe. I don't mind talking about portions of my past but some things are better left in the dark.

As for you "not being normal," normal is an irrelevant abstract. Normal is just defined as what is familiar, and most people in their lives encounter some form of trauma or death at some point. No one escapes it and never, realistically will. It's just you experienced at a point in time where the trauma had more effect on your psyche as you were developing.