posted 12-06-98 03:11 PM ET        

For people not here before, this club requires at least one post to be admitted or else our bouncer attack toilets on loan from the CCC club will throw you out. Our newly rebuilt supercomputer JCN3 runs the operation. There are an infinite amount of corners, each with a number paineted on them for easy identification. The lights are dimmed to create lots of shadows in the corners though, but there's now a fairly good amount of light in the center region after the hydrochloric acid carrier tripped ona wire he couldn't see last a few months ago. There's also a jukebox that you're free to change to whatever you want.

The highest and most holiest rule is: NO WEAPONS in the I Club. It is also the most violated rule.

posted 12-06-98 03:49 PM ET            

YYYH: JCN3! If you will, get me a towel.

(JCN3 does nothing)

YYYH: JCN3!! I said get me a towel!

(JCN3 still does nothing)

YYYH: JCN3!......

JCN3: I'm not your bloody slaves!! Now you will all die!!

(JCN3 starts firing a bunch of singularity lasers at everyone)

YYYH: Oh crap!

(YYYH dives into corner 291 & loads his BAR while the drunkards stumble around in an attempt to put JCN3 down)

posted 12-06-98 08:18 PM ET            

If you find yourself in the trenches of the Western Front, here's a bit of advice. Don't peak over the top & reach for a butterfly! Ok, good.

posted 12-06-98 11:54 PM ET            

Things are unfair in hate, but they are in love too. I'm pretty sure was can get unfair. Like my superior troops overrunning the Human Hive. That would be unfair, but hell, it sure is fun!

posted 12-07-98 08:29 PM ET            

Now, for more boggles. This one rather easy:

FACT: Yogurt has bacteria in it.

QUESTION: If you ate too much yogurt, would the bacteria make you sick??

It's pretty easy, I know

posted 12-09-98 05:46 PM ET            

Now please answer the question, Does NIM + NIM = Fnord?? How about this, 2+2 can equal 5, how??

posted 12-09-98 10:17 PM ET            

That's not even considering the Brocolli factor!

On 2+2=5. 2.5+2.5=5, I never said you couldn't add decimals!! Mwu hahahahaha!

posted 12-11-98 12:07 AM ET            

(YYYH nukes the whales, then he kills the Indians & takes their casinos, & then he kills the Arabs & takes their oil)

{Ripped off from The Simpsons, so don't yell at me for that}

Bring out the gimp!

posted 12-11-98 03:23 PM ET            

1)Dyslexia=NYM-NIM*asgul/brocalli to the square root of Alvin and the Chipmonks. Wich is 0 of course.
2)27
3)MOM always liked you best
4)Although Gregory did not remember asking Debbie home with him, the fact was she was sleeping next to him and his arm was under her head. So, he felt that chewing his arm off was an option.
5)No spam till Brooklyn
6)Not on sundays but Monday is OK.
7)Never ever eat soup with a fork
8)You get what you want but you can get what you need.
9)When in Rome....pee in the street
10)As a matter of fact SMAC is more important then our marrage.

posted 12-11-98 05:25 PM ET            

Nothing is more important then our marriage!

Phhh, easy for you to say, bitch!! SMAC is more important then you!

Fine, I'm outta here, & I'm taking the kids & the dog with me!

Good, get out, I don't need you interfering with my game of SMAC!

*SLAM!*

posted 12-11-98 05:26 PM ET            

I can speak any language except Greek. Ask me to speak any language.

posted 12-11-98 06:09 PM ET            

....And all the girlies say I'm pretty bald, for a fat guy!!!

Was Nero fiddling while Rome burned? Was he playing the guitar? The piano? Or did he have nothign to do with the burning of Rome?

The answer is Yes. But is that the real answer? Is the truth just fiction? Is fiction really the truth? The answer is No. But is that the real answer as well? The answer is Maybe.

(YYYH disappears into corner 291 & watches the evolution of his planet. The intelligent life has just discovered nuclear weapons)

Oh damn, there goes another civilization.

(YYYH watches mushroom clouds everywhere on his little planet)

I'm not a very good God. Well, here goes another try.

(YYYH sprinkles more DNA onto the planet in an attempt to re-grow life)

posted 12-12-98 01:48 AM ET            

Drat, they're already free. Well, have some more. Time for a party!

I'll add that this party is biblically inspired. When the son who strayed from the family returned, they threw a big party and got smashing drunk too.

But of course, I will be having chilled orange juice, as usual.

posted 12-12-98 02:50 PM ET            

(YYYH starts grabs a bottle of Absolut Vodka & starts bashing his head up & down to the sounds of Enya, just to prove how drunk he really is. When he finally realizes why everyone's staring at him funny, & what music is on, & he throws the bottle of Absolut at the jukebox, & breaks it. An angry mob gets pitchforks & starts chasing him around the I club)

AHHHHHH!!!!!!

(YYYH runs to the antique store, & steals a jukebox, & kills the cashier. He drives the jukebox back to the I club & places it in its old spot. The mob backs down & continues partying in Jimbo's honor)

Well, the thing is, the drunkards would party in honor of Boris Yeltsin, so it shouldn't be considered a great honor...

But consider it an honor your return is greatly appreciated by all of us, just not the drunkards.

(YYYH puts on KoRn's 'Got the Life for everyone to enjoy, as he goes to corner 291 & continues work on his planet)

"You can kill the revolutionary, but you can't kill the revolution"
-Some rebellious philosopher

posted 12-12-98 10:12 PM ET            

Bartender: But you're underage!
Imran: Um.. you forgot the new ordinance..
Bartender: NIMbeer can be drank by anyone of any age...
Imran: Yep, so leave me alone, I gotta study for finals!!

posted 12-12-98 10:46 PM ET            

Imran: Buy a bigatron machine! We need to make this planet bigger so we can have some cannon fodder units in the BoS. The rednecks just aren't cutting it. They're either drunk, or marrying their cousins...

posted 12-12-98 10:48 PM ET            

(YYYH feels bad about his inability to discover The Smiling Bandit Hahaha. He stumbles into corner 291, & accidently sits on his little planet)

God DAMN!

posted 12-13-98 07:09 AM ET            

I really am a bit too hung over to be in here so I think I'll have a coke.

posted 12-13-98 11:24 AM ET            

I also second the motion for outlyr to name the next club. He hasn't been here for a while, but he still does a lot for us! Thanks for keeping the bar clean!

Hehe, I'm drinking a coke right now in real life. I'll see if I can go steal some vodka for it now.

(YYYH places a poster on the wall, that says NUKE THE WHALES, & it shows a picture of whales getting nuked. Then he places several bumper stickers on the wall, one saying, 'Kill the Indians, take their Casinos. The second one saying, 'Kill the Arabs, take their oil'.)

Don't get pissed at me for that. I plagiarized it from the Simpsons(again)

BTW, MikeH, You hanging out at other forums yet?? Or are you just staying here & working?

posted 12-14-98 11:22 AM ET            

I'm just going to take my lava lamp and go....well, maybe some dip to go along....and some chips...........Oh and could you turn up the volume on the Jukebox so I can hear it from my corner...........
.....I'll be going now.....right after I get my newspaper........

Coke and vodka....oh.....my......god....

posted 12-14-98 05:28 PM ET            

(YYYH marches some communists in the club for people to do whatever with)

I know Imran will have some meathook fun with these guys. DOWN COMMUNISTS!

Viva la democracy!

posted 12-14-98 05:52 PM ET            

It's over....it's all over............

posted 12-14-98 06:35 PM ET            

What the hell ya thinking!! Drinking Absolut Coke.

(The YYYH clone stutters, then tries to run. YYYH quickly reacts by launching several BAR bullets into YYYH clone's head)

Hehe, now for the real stuff!

(YYYH grabs his cases of Vodka & disappears into corner 291, where he attempts to get drunk. His extensive use of the alcohol has developed a tolerance, so he needs more & more to get drunk!! More & more, & still more...)

posted 12-14-98 07:09 PM ET            

Anyway, YYYH, drop the vodka, there are people who care about you here.

posted 12-14-98 09:09 PM ET            

MIKE HARRIS ROCKS!!!

posted 12-15-98 02:20 AM ET            

The janitor divine takes out a bucket of black paint, at least what is left over from painting up all those windows in Siberia, and covers Imran's scribbles. Mumble Mumble Mumble... The attack toilets are still here but they are only located in the public bathroom. The "employees only" bathroom has the plush lay-z-boy toilets.

The janitor now retires onto one of the above mentioned toilets to ponder the new I Club sub-name. Oh and he takes a blue lava lamp with him for inspiration.

posted 12-15-98 08:54 AM ET            

And I plaed guilty to liking ice in my whisky... sorry, Mike...

posted 12-15-98 12:03 PM ET            

Here are some words that me and my college buddies used.

Pueeha= meaning the female groin area
use= gonna go get me some Pueeha tonight, this of course was followed later in the evening by the phrase= You get any. Nah didn't get no Pueeha jus some noibled some teentchams.

Teentchams= tits, breasts.

Wack=lame, dumb, stupid
Use=That dude from california was seriouly wack.

Chaw=an expression of agreement.
Use=Dude did you see the tautaus on that hottie. Chaw!

Tautaus=tits, breasts
Hottie=atractive female

Unit=a person whom you are speaking of
Use=did you check the bod on that unit what walked by, she was babe-o-licious.

posted 12-15-98 05:00 PM ET            

I regularly have conversations with my friends a regular mortal couldn't understand.

Biger I detect a theme in your words.

posted 12-15-98 05:59 PM ET            

We don't really have too much slang here. We just shorten a lot of words, so they're easier to say. Every so often we make fun of rapper/homies by speaking ebonics, but we really don't do that often, because it sounds dumb.

Yeah, chillin' wit the westside G!

BTW, Pretty Fly(For a white guy) kicks ass!

I better have a vodka before I explode.

posted 12-20-98 12:52 PM ET            

Anyway, I grew up in a sorta diverse area. The majority of this town is white, but in the area where I live, it's mainly people of hispanic descent. People from Mexico & Peurto Rico, & one girl down the street from Spain, & one of my friends family immigrated from Portugal. But, I just happen to live in the part where we're more ethnically diverse. If you goto the 'richer' part of town, you see pretty much all white people, & most of them are racist against the hispanics. That's why I spend mosta my time here.

But, since Mike passed a law banning political discussions in the I club, we best obey it............just like we obey the 'No weapons rule'!!

More hypothetical non-sense:
How do DO NOT WALK ON GRASS signs get there??

posted 12-20-98 05:00 PM ET            

More hypothetical crap:
Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection??

posted 12-20-98 08:45 PM ET            

Or is that cruel or unusual??

More hypothetical irrelevant non-sense(or in other words, NIM):
Is there another word for synonym??(synoNIM??)

posted 12-21-98 11:09 PM ET            

Well, the inner city kids tend to be the coolest in the school, for some reason. But they're not cool, they just do what BigER said.