posted 11-15-98 12:49 AM ET            

I am neither atheist nor theist.

Thank you, come again. (Sorry, I just really have nothing offensive to say!)

Your faithful & hell-bent NIMadier general,
YYYH

posted 11-15-98 02:29 AM ET            

I like feminism, because a lot of feminists are lesbians, and well, you can figure it out.

F**K YOU ALL!

Got to HeLL

Male interior decorators are fun to piss off, since they act like valley girls

Football players are fun to piss off because they don't have the brain capacity to come up with an insult

whore en espanol es punta

How drunk was the guy who came up with the Pez dispenser?

Republicans, don't you wish you could get laid as much as Bill Clinton?

In a stunning turn of events, Ken Star has been caught having improper relations with a transvestite ape man from Norway, yet we all still make jokes about Clinton.

Have I pissed you off enough?

Ok

The teletubbies are satan incarnate

Barney Gumble would be twice as funny if he were on pot

and four times as funny if I were

New insult: Your momma is so ugly, Marylin Manson went up to her and didn't try to rip off her extremities and bathe in her blood.

Bill Gate, how evil do you have to be to have in excess of 50 mil and not donate any of it to charity?

posted 11-15-98 01:02 PM ET            

(Cracks knuckles)

Ken Star doesn't know his pinky from his dick

Ken Star is just jealous Clinton can get hotter babes than he( look at KS's wife, then look at all Clinton's affairs & wife, you'll see the contrast)

Clinton is gonna get thrown on the asheep of history, no one will remember him, he'll be the William Henry Harrison of our history

Canada love peace too much, go fight a few wars, you'll sink to our level!

World War I was lead by the biggest group of military dunderheads ever, the British command!

The Battle of the Somme cost 50,000 lives in one day, & acieved little

The French hate everyone, & everyone hates them.

FUC.K YOU!!!!

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunnete?? Artificial Intelligence!

The only difference between a democrat & a republican is one party gets more sex than the other.

PIC is funner & easier than PC.

You guys played like a bunch of girls!!

You hit like a girl!!

Girls can't play softball!!(heard that on some movie a while ago)

Hey waterboy, shutup!

Saddam, Iraq, & the whole damn middle east can burn in hell

How stupid can you be if you drive your car 100 MPH down twisting roads with trees 1 foot maximum from the road, then break a 16 inch tree in half!!!

Why am I being PIC, because it allows me to vent.

Sorry if I offended anyone, well not really, whatever, I'm just to cautious, I'm gonna go before a Ruskie kicks my ass.

posted 11-15-98 02:32 PM ET            

Bill Clinton will weasel has dirty cock back into the public's favorable view.

Atheists will get the ultimate wakeup call if they burn in hell!

Nick Jagger is a reanimated corpse.

NO NUKES NO NUKES!!!

posted 11-15-98 05:49 PM ET            

The Ruskies are a bunch of lazy vodka drinkers who sit back & expect things to get done, but do nothing to get them done. They can't even build their piece of the ISS on time for it's launch. They can't figure out that democracy & capitalism take time to get going too. Look at America in it's early years. Have y'all ever heard of Shay's rebellion?!?! Give it time & stop blaming us!! Then get those stupid red commie bastards out of your government, & be sure to give Marx the finger down in Hell stupid Yeltsin.

PIC=immaturity=venting=fun!

posted 11-15-98 07:31 PM ET            

Oh Well.

Americans are a bunch of overbearing pompous jerks who really don't care about stopping communism or bettering their world, but are only in it for their own personal gain. You can apply this analysis to American domestic or international situation.

posted 11-15-98 11:08 PM ET            

AMERICANS CAN KICK YOUR NATION'S ASS!

WE HAVE THE BEST ECONOMY

THE BEST MILITARY

THE MOST INFLUENCE

LEADERS THAT GET LAID

AND BEST OF ALL,

WE'VE GOT MORE MONEY THAN YOU!!!!!!
DON'T FU.CK WITH AMERICA, IT'LL GIVE YOU A RASH!!!!

GIVE ME A "HELL YEAH", PATRIOTS!

SOAP NEVER CAUGHT ON IN FRANCE!

EUROPEANS ARE LEFTIST SOCIALIST BASTARDS!

CAPITALISM IS THE WAY!

RANT

BARBARA WALTERS LOOKS GOOD IN A THONG!

YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER, AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!

GERMANY? WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT A COUNTRY WHOSE PRIME EXPORTS ARE BEER AND CARS?

ASIA, WE SHOULD BUY IT. WE PROBABLY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY

posted 11-15-98 11:40 PM ET            

And Miss Monica L.'s teeth are SCARY AS HELL! I WOULD BE SCARED SHE'D BITE MY GENITALIA OFF!!!

posted 11-16-98 01:06 AM ET            

"Well this is it gentleman, toe-to-toe nuclear combat with the Ruskies!"

Gerries, Krauts, it's all good!

Brits, Limeys

Frenchie Frogs!

Haha, Im gonna burn Jerusalem!!

Haha, Im gonna burn Mecca!!

Haha, Im gonna burn Rome!!

I think he got you!!

DAMN

Your just redder than the blood streaking from your slit throat, stupid commie!

Microprose!!!(now that's PIC!!)

posted 11-16-98 03:24 AM ET            

This is what has happend with you beloved "free speach" and so on:
World hatered, prsidential sex, dumb movies, fat people, poor people, school shooting, race wars, endless takshows, the list goes on and on. You dickhead can't seem to do anything right, you just stand there and toss over your "Ameicana" while the rest of the world laugh at you!

posted 11-16-98 01:25 PM ET            

Let me try this

1> some seagulls are gay!

2> brown hampsters are communists

3> All American cats should be killed and fed to all the European cats.

4> Never Ingest Mice

5> Never Your Mother

6> Can't Wait Any Longer

7> Underwear is a Faciast plot

posted 11-16-98 07:22 PM ET            

Aussies seem to have the best beer on Earth

Bill Clinton gives this country a bad name

Paula Jones gives this country a bad face.

Monica Lewinsky tells the world we love fat morons!!

Indians are stuck in the past

Brits drink too much tea

French smell like ****!!

Germans are convinced of there own superiority, but yet were defeated in two world wars!

French lost to the Germans in a war!

Spanish people have the simplest language on Earth, get something harder damn it!!

****
****
BITCH
HELL
DAMN!!

posted 11-17-98 02:47 AM ET            

There was an add for orange juice a while back, that involved two women in bike shorts squeezing their buttocks, while to men go "squeeze, squeeze, squeeze!" It got taken off the air in three seconds, now that's fair enought, BUT a few years lated they did the same add, but reversed the sexes, so now the men where squeezing their buttocks. And suprise, suprise NOBODY COMPLAINED!!!!!

I think that those stupid bitches should take a good look around before opening their mouths and giving people ****. They are just as dumb as thoughs bimbos, who by the way only act dumb to get themselves noticed. **** all their crap about being "sexualy libarated" they need to wake up and see the world around them. And alot of women hate them too, I've got this friend who hates being called a femmo more than any other name. So all you bitches out there who think you speak for every woman, think again.

I'm Victor Mielczarski and this is the logical conclusion.

posted 11-17-98 12:48 PM ET            

North Americans, Eurotrash, South Americans, Asians, and anyone else on this planet are Fat, Arrogant, stupid, warmongering, insane, and rotten dressers.

posted 11-17-98 01:17 PM ET            

When a dog gets old and starts barking at you angrily, you can shoot him.

It is legal to keep a dog tied to the bed for weeks.

The dog likes when you're drunk.

etc etc

Dogs suck

posted 11-17-98 01:21 PM ET            

Q How do you call a finn in estonian?
A MY FOUR LEGGED FRIEND

posted 11-17-98 01:25 PM ET            

Q How do you call a white man surrounded by 2 niggas?
A A victim

Q How do you call a white man surrounded by 5 niggas?
A Coach

posted 11-17-98 01:40 PM ET            

Otakelte Hirnwichsa! Lossn an hinign sermon ob, scheiss drauf! Lauter Orschgfret von die miesn Gruabnzuzla! Heisltschick! Hundsvot, elendige! Orschkriechata Dreckfressa!

posted 11-17-98 01:49 PM ET            

there is no point - until now, no one on this thread can understand this. I'm waiting...

posted 11-17-98 01:53 PM ET            

I don't quiet remember it all, but as I was entering another blackout period of memory loss, I seemed to have come to the aid of a fellow American that was really proud to be an American. Man, I sought the humor of the situation and then became serious. Please help me......BK? Any thoughts? How do I get this guilt off my back?

posted 11-17-98 01:57 PM ET            

I couldn't translate my swearing either... and I doubt you'll find anyone who could.

posted 11-19-98 08:58 PM ET            

Ah, yes, I love that song. Brings back a big smile.

Rather ammusing was "Australiana" by Austen Tayshus. Very funny play on words, all about Australians.

Bass strait is an strait of water near Australia. So, part of the "song":

"There was Bass, sitting in the corner, not getting into it, not getting out of it. I said "What, is Bass Straight or something?""...

"And there was Mary sitting in the corner, trying to Platypus" (pronounced plat-er-puss, and I got the name wrong too)...

"Someone proposed a game of cricket. I said "Yeah, why don't we let Wombat.""...

Heh, heh.

posted 11-17-98 04:09 PM ET            

I detest people you can't speak up with pride about there heritage! No matter where they are from, all of us should be proud to be a free country, (I hope all of us are from one). So, for all you antiAmerican haters of this hemisphere: I love America, I love America, I love America, I love America.

AMerica is the Best, America is the Best, America is the Best. If it wasn't for American ingenuity, there would be more wars than we could stand. If it wasn't for American ingenuity, there would be more wars than we could stand. Go South America, Central America, North America. We are great. We are great. For all non-North Americans, too bad, you have my sympathy, but still my respect. Our team is better, Our team is better, Our team is better....Our team is better.
American power in weapons of mass destruction!!!! yea, go, go, go, go...
AMerican ingenuity in movie making, yea go Star Wars!!!!!yea, go, go, go, go....
American Farmers, provide food for many, go, go, go,.....
American Political system, (without Clinton), go, go, go.
American Money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Go, go, go, go.....

American Taxpayer, suffers for the world's needs, go, go, go......

American Universities, go....go....

Ah, I feel much better Roland, ol buddy. Did you get any of this Imran???

posted 11-17-98 04:35 PM ET            

Tag den I sm� b�sser�ve.
Og Lewinsky skulle fand'me ha' den fede lige op i nougatstjernen. Den fede so...

posted 11-17-98 06:07 PM ET            

Actually i have another

America (The US that is) w/o guns = any other poor has been country.

posted 11-20-98 03:38 PM ET            

But then, I'm an atheist and think all religous people are screwed, stupid and barely litterate morons, so I won't.

posted 11-23-98 05:58 PM ET            

Well that's just from what I understand, there could of been Civil War pictures released....

UN sucks, they make more war than peace. You ever see people in Africa kill eachother over their supplies!!!

posted 11-19-98 02:06 AM ET            

And to the faggot that exeded the thread to
the right: IM COMMING TO KILL YOU, ****Ed UP SON OF A BITCH.

posted 11-19-98 02:54 AM ET            

Always loved this song, can't remember the title or the author, but the chorus went "I'm an asshole (repeat)".

"I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane,
while people around me are going insane.
I'm an asshole I'm an asshole I'm an asshole.
I'm an asshole, yeah, yeah."

All about Americans. Written by an American too (does it piss Canadians and Mexicans off that residents of the USA are called Americans?).

Anyway, another line from the song, something about if you want to **** with the USA:
"Two words: Nuclear ****ing weapons".

Always thought that was funny (though scary in it's own way).

But goddamn it patriot yanks with their heads shoved so far up their assholes that the only light they see is the star spangled banner really piss me off.

2nd in space. Suck it!

And remember when we beat you in the America's cup? And what sort of a pompous, stuck up, arrogant, asshole name is that for a cup contested around the world?

And what's the ****ing deal with the world series? Yeah, maybe if you stick your head so far up your ass that you think America is the world. "HELLO MCFLY..."

And **** the american subsidised farmers who are putting other countries farmers out of business by undercutting prices on the international markets.

**** the Kiwis for invading Bondi.

**** the Japs for buying Australia.

And **** the Poms for sending us here in the first place. (Oh, hang on, that was a good thing.

Well, **** them for giving us Terry Venables who kept us out of the world cup.

And **** the Canadians for me not having anything to swear at them for.

And **** you and your stereotypical view of Aussies that you got from Paul Hogan Movies.

(Ah, that really does feel good, doesn't it?)

Brother Greg.

P.S. And no, Aussies aren't racist at all

posted 11-19-98 07:19 AM ET            

Greg, I think it's Dennis (?) Leary.

Asshole is a great song - just wonder if it
is about americans only ?

From the sonf:

"I use public toilets
and piss on the seat"

"I park my car in the handicapped people's places
And laugh at handicapped people making handicapped faces"

But then, it's very american. Why he can do all those things ?
"Cause we got the bomb!"

posted 11-19-98 08:27 AM ET            

________________________

Denis Leary

Asshole

(Denis Leary/Chris Phillips)

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the
American dream. About me, about
you, about the way our American hearts beat
way down in the bottom of our
chests. About the special feeling we get in
the cockles of our hearts,
maybe below the cockles, maybe in the
subcockle area. Maybe in the liver,
maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the
colon. We don't know.

I'm just an average Joe with a regular job
I'm your average White suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I've got an average house with a nice
hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on the table and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain't enough
To keep a man like me interested
(Oh no) No way (Uh-uh)
No, I've got to go out and have fun
At someone else's expense
(Oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real ****ing asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
Naaaah!

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get
myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado
convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcabs
and all leather cow interior
and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.
Yeah! And I'm gonna drive
around in that baby at 115 MPH getting on
mile per gallon, sucking down
quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald's
in the old-fashioned
non-biodegradable styrofoam containers, and
when I'm done suckin' down
those greaseball burgers, I'm gonna wipe my
mouth with the American flag
and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam
container right out the side and
there ain't a goddamned thing anybody can do
about it. You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that's why.

Two words: Nuclear ****ing weapons, okay?
Russia, Germany, Romania-they
can have all the democracy they want. They
can have a big democracy
cakewalk right through the middle of
Tiananmen Square and it won't make a
lick of difference because we got the bombs,
okay? John Wayne's not
dead-he's frozen. And as soon as we find the
cure for cancer we're gonna
thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty
pissed off. You know why? Have
you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply
that by 15,000,000 times,
that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be.
I'm gonna get the Duke and John
Cassavetes
(Hey)
And Lee Marvin
(Hey)
And Sam Peckinpah
(Hey)
And a case of whisky and drive down to Texas...
(Hey, you know, you really are an asshole)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal!

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody! A-S-S-H-O-L-E

Arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
Fung achng tum a fung tuma fling chum
Oooh oooh

posted 11-19-98 05:17 PM ET            

"They all hate us anyhow,
So let's drop the big one now.
Let's drop the big one now."

Although written with his tongue planted firmly in his cheek he did strike a few disharmonic chords about most US citizen's feelings.
The first feeling is that despite all of our (USA) generosity and goodwill, the rest of the world still doesn't appreciate us and actually hates us.
Second is that we (USA) is sooo inherently superior why should there be any other culture.
Thirdly, the song's subtext is that we (USA) are so ignorant about the rest of the world and so arrogant at the same time, that we are truly dangerous to everyone.

I would like to point out that I do not think the US is the best (or worst) place in the world. I really deplore the ignorance, and indifference, that many US citizens have about other nations or even how our own foreign policy is run. But I also think the song is pretty funny. Does that make me a bad person?

P.S. Greg, the song has a verse about Australia. I think it goes something like:

"We'll save Australia.
Don't want to hurt no kangaroos.
We'll build an All-American amusement park there.
They got surfin' too."

posted 11-19-98 05:42 PM ET            

Does "job tjove madj!" mean fuc.k your mama?

I just heard it somewhere and I'm not sure of it.

And if it means it, here's to you Saras, the hater of the first barrier of civilization against the masses of slavist non-humen, my beloved fatherland, last and best hope of mankind:

JOB TJOVE MADJ!!!

posted 11-19-98 09:45 PM ET            

Oh yeah, 1 in a million chance of war too.

"May all the Krauts who killed Americans burn in hell. May all Americans who killed Krauts be in peace up in heaven."
-Captain John Shaw, Hurtgen Forest, 1944

posted 11-20-98 04:33 PM ET            

Clinton's taste in woman is reason enough for impeachment!

Europocraps who ave **** with Americans should go the screw our ICBMS up the ass!

Espicially the dumb-ass Swedes where the debt is 100% of the GDP!

Estonia should nuke Sweden!

Ken Starr could open 500,000,000 cans of whup-ass on Bill Clinton.

posted 11-23-98 02:00 PM ET            

*takes his fist out, and punches Arja Alho�s, Bill Clinton�s and specially Boris Jeltsin�s big fat faces and drowns rupla in big fat glass of pee; ! tumppu�s radioactive pee !*