posted 03-25-99 01:25 AM ET        

I propose the following:

The Masturbation Wonder.

[mooman]
(again, in that same thread) vastly improved on the idea:

Hey, good one yin. A breakthrough for modern science...late in the 19th century, after decades of backbreaking labor, physicists working out of Ball State University finally discover the theory of masturbation ... Mankind will never be the same again.

[yin]
...I suggest a few seconds from a good '70's porno movie for the cut-scene...

-----------

posted 03-25-99 01:37 AM ET            

Jellystone Park: Improves effectiveness of Park Rangers.

Starbucks: Counts as a cafe in all your cities

posted 03-25-99 02:42 AM ET            

-Prevents Lawyers from entering your civ
-Because of above, happiness increases 40%

posted 03-25-99 09:58 AM ET         

*places a home shopping network in every city

posted 03-25-99 10:53 AM ET            

DARTH VADER STATUE: Makes your units able to use the light sabre and doubles the good effects of any eco terrorist state

LASER ARTILLERY WONDER: Makes you able to construct laser units that fire in a curved line

posted 03-25-99 04:50 PM ET         

Prerequisites: ONANOLOGY + NETWORK NODES

Effects: Zero ECON, PSYCH, and LABS at base due to constant involvement with online games forums.

Cumulative with The SMAC Wonder and The Masturbation wonder.
-------------------------------------------

posted 03-25-99 05:01 PM ET            

+2 Sarcasm

1/2 cost to incite drone riots at bases with a network node

permanent trade sanctions

posted 03-25-99 06:18 PM ET            

How about:

THE MICROSOFT WINDOWS WONDER

Benefits
--------

* +50 energy for constructing base ($$$ keep rolling in)

* automatic HQ relocation to constructing base (domination via desktop OS)

* constructing base is immune from drone riots (citizens of Seattle at least are happy )

Negative effects
----------------

* -1 research at each base with a Network Node (monolithic software stifling creativity)

* -1 efficency at each base (too many bugs/constant crashes/rebooting)

* 1 extra drone per city (aggravated gamers)

* Enemy Probe Teams automatically succeed in stealing research of their choice from your bases (WinNT too easily hacked)

*** Owner of MSWIN WONDER may spend 50 energy and 1 population (representing burned out programmers) once every 3 years to upgrade MSWIN WONDER thereby increasing the yearly energy output by +50 each time. However, for every upgrade, negative effects are doubled.

*** MSWIN WONDER is nullified when an opposing faction builds the US JUSTICE DEPARTMENT while also having a +3 lawyer rating

*** All positive effects of MSWIN WONDER can also be nullified through construction of the LINUX WONDER by an opposing faction that has a higher total population than your own. Negative effects remain due to large installed base.

posted 03-25-99 08:50 PM ET            

TELETUBBIES WONDER

- 3 extra happy citizens in EVERY city, doubled if your civilisation has discovered Marijana.

posted 03-25-99 09:45 PM ET            

- the only options when you communicate with other factions are all insane babbling about how much you think Linux rules

- subsequent calls to any faction results in them automatically ignoring you

- halves the rate of technology advances due to increasing complexity of recompiling your kernel for every new discovery and the lack of anyone wanting to actually write the grunt-work code

- automatically changes your faction name to Geek and your title to Schoolboy

THE REDNECK WONDER:

- +2 damage for all units bearing projectile weapons

- automatic TRAILER PARK WONDER for all cities, as detailed previously

- enables the Monster Truck chassis, the V8 powerplant, the Skoal Hawker Cannon weapon, and the CB Radio special ability

- enables the Bass Boat unit: a Foil chassis with twin 175HP Johnson outboards, which triples the movement rate while sacrificing navigational accuracy during long-range Move To commands

THE IRS WONDER:

- cities producing 30% to 70% of your average city energy income can't produce any units because ALL income is committed to taxes

- each city must generate one probe team for every other citizen, and the probe team is permanently assigned to the city

- units who spend too much time away in Pact Brother cities are automatically arrested and disbanded upon return to one of your own cities on money laundering charges

posted 03-25-99 11:40 PM ET         

+1 happy citizen in each city (double for cities over 8)(its Star Wars!)
-1 efficiency (everybody ditching work)
-1 growth (everybody too busy watching to do it)
+1 economy (lots of merchandising)

If the "Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi" are built by the same faction, double the positive affects for each of these wonders built.

posted 03-26-99 05:00 PM ET         

-increases effectiveness of attorneys by 50%

-makes court houses obsolete

-past atrocities forgiven

posted 03-27-99 12:04 AM ET         

Reflects the development of the VCR, Laserdisc, Universal Remote Control, Projection Screen TV, DVD, Cable, Satellite Dish and Surround Sound.

Adds one happy citizen to each city.

Adds +2 to each city of any opponent with and island economy.

posted 03-27-99 11:58 AM ET            

-1 efficiency due to induced -4 sleep factor.

posted 03-29-99 02:02 PM ET         

- ability to build FURBY unit, psi +10 bonus
- cumulative psi bonus with >1 FURBY
- enemy units 50% psi penalty during combat
- colony intelligence +50%
- Makes TAMAGOTCHI wonder obsolete
- drone riots +75%

posted 03-29-99 04:21 PM ET            

-all unhappy citizens becomes content
-all content citizens becomes happy
-all happy citizens become happier
-all specialist quit their jobs and join to the happy citizens

2. THE GREAT TIE WONDER

-allows your units to wear a tie

3. BLAH BLAH SMAC BLAH CIV2 BLAH WONDER

-blah blah blah
-blah blah blalablah
-yack yack yackette yack

4. THE ART OF SMART FART WONDER

-allows your diplomats to unleash a loud farts w/o consequences

posted 03-29-99 04:37 PM ET            

WebTV wonder: doesn't really do anything usefull.

Lewinsky wonder: Free cigars in the base it is built in, but nobody smokes them cause they smell REAL bad (sorry).

posted 03-29-99 05:19 PM ET            

"3 extra happy citizens in every city, doubled if your civilisation has discovered Marjiana".

posted 03-29-99 07:20 PM ET         

No drones, everyones happy
half the production output

twice the economy output (commercial sales)
double population growth (I slept with who?)

and

+1 moisture around every city square! (nothing like a good beer squirt!)

posted 03-29-99 07:27 PM ET            

THE BROTHER GREG WONDER

The discoverer of this Wonder changes the game dramatically for all civilizations, although its effects are not immediately noticeable.

Once any civilization is about to be conquered, however, the Wonder kicks in:

At that point a 40 minute movie titled "Peace in Our Time" will begin to play. It is essentially an in-depth look at 40 minutes in the life of Ghandi walking his cow.

There is no way to skip the movie.

Upon finishing the movie, the computer will ask the player whether or not he would like to print the 16 page manifesto, "What's the Use in Winning?" written by Brother Greg, extolling the virtues of mutual understanding and verbosity.

Whether the player clicks "yes" or "no" is irrelevant, as he will be locked out of his system until he prints the document.

Upon printing, the player must then read, sign, send and have receipt confirmed by Activision, whose staff will then e-mail the player a pass code to unlock the game.

After re-entering the game, the player will no longer be able to discern any apparent distinction between civilizations--they all share an akward putrid pink-colored banner and apparently have been drinking beer and eating hotdogs while the player was waiting for his pass code. They are, thus, too drunk and fat to do anything.

The player can try to continue, but only one unit on the screen will respond to any commands. This unit, named "Yin," will spend the next 300 turns trying to convince the factions that war and animosity are far better than putrid pink banners and heart disease.

This effectively ends the game, as nobody has ever waited the 300 turns to watch the outcome.

posted 03-29-99 08:20 PM ET            

http://civilization.gamestats.com/ctp/chat

Also, "Part 2" of our preview will be posted tomorrow...

posted 03-29-99 09:15 PM ET         

negates Beer wonder

posted 03-29-99 09:39 PM ET            

Semi-private, I guess. Brother Greg has foiled more than a few really nasty wars on this board by posting a peace treaty, which generally sees most people flocking to show support.

But sometimes, there should only be one faction left standing. I mean, how rewarding is a diplomatic victory?

Tell the truth people. You all want to be the undisputed rulers of your hard-built worlds, don't you? I don't believe in transcendence and I don't believe money can rule the world.

Might has the final word--always.

It's the sinister peaceful tactics of Brother Greg and Ghandi that make us lose focus as a species. It's crazy peace talk that leaves countries wide open to take overs and rampant drug abuse.

Look at America. It doesn't want peace. It's economy was built on war. Without war, the U.S. would soon crumble. It would become some fat bitch to a middle eastern pimp.

posted 03-30-99 07:00 PM ET            

I don't know about other nations, but it does seem to affect the European races a little more than most - the 'I don't like you, you don't like me, let's get it on,' mentality. And while the wonderful image of seeing your tanks steamrolling across the border and your armies smashing the enemy to smitherines (what is a Smitherine, anyway?) never fails to delight, the reality is usually very different.

America, in my opinion, is founded on an absence of war more than anything. No brutal neighbours ('cept the Indians, but that's a different story). Afghanistan is a country that is founded on war, from what I've read and seen, a nation of hardassed, realistic sons of bitches who've survived through sheer fury and toughness. That's a nation that knows about war. America is the opposite, and has only ever gone to war when absolutely necessary - and made damn sure the odds were in their favour when they did.

posted 03-30-99 07:37 PM ET            

"Ohhhh, shiny rock. Lot of shiny rock. Ugh ugh ugh."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

posted 03-31-99 03:28 AM ET            

Other wonders!

SMAC Forums:
-2 industry (ain't doing anything, just posting)
+5 happyness!

posted 03-31-99 09:58 PM ET            

I was an Astronomy major in college, but that was a looooong time ago, so please don't beat me up for an amateurish post.

Last I heard scientists were trying to contain the super-heated plasma generated by the fusion reaction with electro-magnetic fields. Perhaps the problem is the power required to produce the field is more than the power obtained from the reaction itself.

Another problem I heard was that of "igniting" a "controlled" reaction in the first place.

My brother (nuclear physics major from Cornell) told me a story once about using high energy lasers to pour enough energy into a compressed "glob" of deuterium. The only problem was that when the reaction fired, it generated too much energy and fried the lasers and their housings.

Anyway ... isn't anybody else going to post another CTP Wonder/SMAC Secret Project to keep us ForumAddicts from going _DRONE_?!?

posted 04-01-99 01:02 AM ET            

This Wonder is not discovered but is triggered automatically by the fertile smells and sounds of a particularly lush spring (eco-damage, however, can cancel the event).

* Sometime at the turn of an unusually good spring, an enormous white bunny, filling approximately 1/4 the screen, will bounce across the terrain, squashing anything it lands on. The bonus?

* The bunny will drop city-sized Easter eggs behind him. These eggs truly add a new element to the game.

* Assuming your civilization has the manpower/technology to open one of these huge treasures before it rots, any number of things can happen.

* Some eggs contain a recipe for cooking wonderful Italian pasta dishes and Danish muffins.

* Others contain up-to-the minute stock quotes and the current value of your car.

* Still others tweak your hardware in the background to leave your system that fresh, just-booted feeling.

The news isn't always good, however:

* Some eggs release a hundred minature Brian Reynoldses that chant and carry posters saying, "You stole our game! Prepare to feel the pain!" After a few turns of chanting, these little demons begin dismantling your cities at will. A truly nasty occurence.

posted 04-06-99 04:20 AM ET            

+1 economy (taxes on sales to public)
+2 morale (troops don't care about piles of dead bodies about)
+1 planet (stuff grows like crazy and enriches the soil;really fast growing forest)
-1 support (need to supply marijuana to the troops)
-2 efficiency (no one cares how smoothly the gears turn)
-2 research (general dumbing down of population)
Halve (rounded up) the number of drones at any base.
Formers plant hemp forests. Double speed of "plant forest" operation, and forests twice as likely to spread to adjacent squares each turn.
May not use any "value" settings in social engineering. No one cares enough about anything to have any sort of moral basis.

posted 04-06-99 05:53 PM ET            

BUGSWARM WONDER: I have seen the wonder movie on this one(an infinite bug swarm appear out of a SMAC box while you hear some dude singing "That crap stinks"). The PR department decided the better of it, and removed this wonder after their Beta testers reported the number of bugs they wanted fixed...

posted 04-07-99 11:06 AM ET            

All enemy cities that have built WWW forums automatically revolt every turn, unless they a) build a forum moderator unit or b) build the...

'Instant Patch-o-Rama' Wonder

posted 04-08-99 12:07 PM ET         

Diana Memorial Wonder

+2 Economy - Loads of money from visiting tourists looking at the lunatics having hysterics.

-1 Industry - Industrial capacity redirected to making mugs, plates and small dolls.

+25% Trade - Flogging off of industrial output to the more gullible tourists for fat profits

A turn of drone riots followed by all drones turning to contented peeps when they realise what an awful spectacle they've made of themselves.

The NATO Wonder

Can attack other factions with impunity and not have any damage to reputation or have defending factions allies declare vendetta.

Can only use Air and Water units and probe teams.

The moment any of your units are defeated there is a drone riot in it's supporting city.

posted 04-25-99 02:53 AM ET            

----economy (time is spent trying to figure out the point of star child)
----industry "
----support "
----police "
---- everything else.

Get a message: congradulations you have just contiplated transcendence. game ends to the 2001 music.

posted 04-25-99 01:43 PM ET            

The Great Society Wonder

All citizens demand 10% more than the civilization's total annual economic output every turn.