posted 03-08-99 02:41 AM ET
[The following is a joke and in no way represents my or anybody else's sense of humor. Any similarity to a Bro. Greg on this forum or elsewhere is purely coincidental.] 
I will not waste my time criticizing or insulting Bro. Greg as 1) he is unlikely to change, and 2) Bro. Greg probably revels in the letters of shock and repulsion that he regularly receives. Instead, I will focus on his nefarious treatises, which, after all, are the things that hammer away at the characters of all those who will not help him muster enough force to blow the whole situation way out of proportion. First off, I still wish briefly to take a position on the question as to what extent to carve solutions that are neither offensive nor feckless, we have to work diligently and effectively to empower the oppressed to control their own lives. I, for one, attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that like pompous imbeciles, he will rip off everyone and his brother. Bro. Greg's whole approach is nit-picky, and deep down in our bones, we all know why. I intend to keep writing letters like this one until Bro. Greg changes his ways. The reason is clear. Bro. Greg's sycophants do not accept the fact that Bro. Greg's secret police have an inadequate grasp of acceptable scientific method and data interpretation.
Like a lion after tasting the blood of human victims, he will acquire power and use it to indoctrinate bookish louts. At the risk of sounding hopelessly obstinate, his surrogates often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. The foregoing greatly simplifies the real situation, but it does indicate in a rough, general way that Bro. Greg always sounds like he's reading a prepared speech. Worst of all, our children's children would never forgive us for letting him change this country's moral infrastructure. Please let me explain that we must recognize that his thugs want so much to flood this debate through the sluice gates of stubborn gloomy think tanks that the concept of right vs. wrong never comes up. No doubt, facts and their accuracy make a story, not the overdramatization of whatever Bro. Greg dreams up. But things that you or I might regard as sleazy or power-drunk might be considered by Bro. Greg's helpers as an article of faith, a philosophical conviction, a political opinion, or even an innocuous form of entertainment.
As a matter of fact, his adherents amount to nothing more than sordid dipsomaniacs riding on the back of a social fungus attacking the body politic. Because as commonly encountered, cynical xenophobic shysters lack any of the qualities that mark the civilized person, like courage, dignity, incorruptibility, ease, and confidence, because a number of reckless quacks have succumbed to excessive drug use, alcoholism, and other addictive behavior indicating maladaptive mechanisms, and because it remains to be seen if he will lay the foundation for some serious mischief sometime soon, we can conclude that my bons mots are clearly in defense of decency and human dignity and violate nobody's rights. It may sound strange to Bro. Greg when I say that much of our nation's history stands as shameful testament to the danger inherent in allowing Bro. Greg to lash out at everyone and everything in sight, but he must think that the world has no memory.
His recommendations are often disregarded merely as pigheaded and are consequently not treated as the serious assaults on liberty and freedom that they indisputably are. One indication of this is the fact that Bro. Greg wants to remove society's moral barriers and allow perversion to prosper. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. To make a long story short, I myself am highly critical of those who tolerate or apologize for people who work with Bro. Greg. Irrespective of one's feelings on the subject, he will simply continue to cause distress to people he doesn't know, has never seen, and who have done him no harm whatsoever.
Bro. Greg, in his hubris, has decided that he has the right to inflict untold misery, suffering, and distress. If you doubt this, just ask around. His commitment to totalitarianism is only part of the story. As far as his crotchety hijinks are concerned, I will not capitulate today, tomorrow, or ever. There are some truths that are so obvious that for this very reason they are not seen, or at least not recognized, by ordinary people. One noteworthy example is the truism that Bro. Greg often flirts with nativism. We are on a slippery slope towards economic strife, social turmoil, cultural chaos, and ruthless sesquipedalianism. Yet the Establishment media consistently ignores, downplays, or marginalizes this fact. As a parting thought, remember that Bro. Greg is proposing a cure for which there is no disease or, more likely, a disease for which there is no cure.