posted 06-23-99 10:52 AM ET        

The initial story, started by Freddz on May 31st, and to which a few people contributed, was wrecked by some guy who thought we were making fun of newbies. I thought this was a shame, but a the time I did not have time to revive it.

It has been done now, thanks to a slow week. I reposted the original thread below, minus the posts that did not add to the story itself, and added the next chapter. More will come over the next few days, so stay tuned...

DISCLAIMER:
This thread is not intended to make fun of anyone. If you feel offended, I (we) apologize in advance. Please do not seek revenge in destroying our thread, but instead send one of the authors a message, explaining the problem and we'll try to rectify the situation in another chapter. Or better yet, take your best pen and write a chapter yourself !

posted 06-23-99 10:54 AM ET            

The three newbies calmly walked up the street. The time had come they knew. They had volunteered for this mission... For these three, failure was not an option. They three Agents were:

Trippin; rough, tough, constantly sticking a new cigarette in his mouth, which he always would light with his elephant size flamer with the inscription "Your last flame, geekshow!".

Tfs99; quick feet, lightning reactions, chewing and using poison and dynamite gums like they had strawberry taste.

Freddz; small, vicious, with a sense of humour that could instantly kill a Vet through boredom.

Not missing a stride, the newbies simultaneously put on their flea-nest hippie wigs so. No one would know they weren�t veterans. The newbies reached their target, a huge palace in which the Off-topic Senate held their councils. A plesant smile on his lips, Freddz walked up to the janitor's cabin by the gates. He knocked on the door. From inside�

�Ho-hoo. I�m coming�. Ho-hooo�

Sitting in a wheel-chair, Imran, the nicest man ever born, opened the door. The newbies had all the files on Imran. Once he had owned a prosperous fungus farm; but one day he had seen with his own eyes mind worms feasting on his cat �Renn Oldz�, a shock that had left poor Imran without the ability to walk. The newbies smiled.

�Uh, hi. I�m Imran. Who may you be?
�Hi� We are just honored Vets. We are here to check the pipes under the Senate. Here�s the papers.�

Imran sniffed in the air, then grabbed the papers.

�Funny smell�?�
�We ate spicy Quttro Stagione�� Tfs99 said.
�Okay. Seems correct. You go. Thank you. Thank you. Good luck. Ho-ho!�

As the newbies grinned and went on, Imran�s silly smile turned to ice, his eyes flashed. He then put up his fingers to squeeze his nose shut. �Newbies� Only newbies smell like old potatoes.� he thought. "And, they were up to something real bad. Yes..."

He sensed it. He climbed down the ladder to the basement, clicked on a control. Portals opened.

Before him, stood his glistening black car, so explisit, so beautiful. Powerful. Imran grinned at some nasty thought, a crazy glimpse caught in his eye.

�Those creeps didn�t know who they were dealing with. Tonight the legend would return� Yes� Hehehee... Tonight, the newbies would die... Yes... Tonight SMACman would return! I am SMACMAN!!!!!!�

Imran, who had sacrificed his life to poverty and anonymity just to kill wicked newbies, walked past his black SMACmobile. No one knew who SMACman was. A living legend.

Imran pressed another button. His black SMACsuit rumbled out from a secret compartment in the wall�

"Tonight" Imran thought.

Freddz posted 05-31-99 07:25 PM ET
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Night. The newbies feasted at Old Vet city's finest tavern: "Dental floss".

"Your bubble bombs will blow in exactly ona minuta" Trippin exclaimed. "Ona minuta! Cheers!"
"Cheers!!! Boom boom boom! Bye Vetties!" tfs99 said. "Bye Palace! Hah!"
"Cheers Nell!"

Trippin looked up. Nell stood on the table, taking a bite from a Holly Newbie ear(a delicacy at the tavern) while resting from her dancing. Nell smiled.

"Cheers Freddz!"
"Cheers Freddz! Boom boom! Cheers old pal!" the others cried.
"...Huh... It's... it's... black... Where's my drinky winky... Where...?"

The other three started singing.

"We are the champions tonight... tralala...! We are the champions, my friend! We are the champiooooons!
"You a good palace spy Nell...." Freddz throated out. "You saw my hand reaching for you skirt, huh...?"
"We are theee chaaaampioooons toniiiiight!!!"
"A lil too harsh to drive my head into the wall maybe...? Just a thought..."
"Chaaampiooons...!"
"I'll have two headaches tomorrow Nell..."

Tfs99 helped Fredz out, placed him on a chair.

"Freddz, you desperate little turd..."
"I almost made it you know"
"What?"
"With the hand..."
"12 seconds to boom!" Trippen shouted. "Okay here we go"

Everyone stood up... and started the count together.

"10!"
"9!"
"8!"
"7!"
"6!"
"5!"
"Foooooooury!"
"Threeeisssiimooo!"
"Twooohippiiieee!"
"Onneeeaabeee!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!"
"BOOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Booom! Boom! Booom! Booom. Bom? Bom? Boom? Huh? Buh?"

"Shhhhh, or we won't hear it...."
"Maybe it blew up while you were at the toilet Tfs, huh? Pretty noisy."
"Impossible. The bubble bombs are timed... My personal aren't..."
"Shhh..."

The newbies stood listening, their mouths agape, their eyes glancing everywhere as if they expected something to move with the Palace boom... Tic tac tic tac....

Freddz was suddenly angry.

"Okay! Half an hour has gone and no boom boom! Not even a silly draft in here!"
Trippin: "Something's wrong here! I'm warning ya, who or what you be or not, I'm getting suspicious!"
Tfs99: "Yeah... something's real wrong... Something's wrrrrrooongggg.... huh?"

the newbies sweated in silence for a while...

"Yeah, �nd I know what it is... Look... out..."

Nell was at the window, pointing down at the street.

[to be continued soon]

MikeH II posted 06-01-99 05:26 AM ET
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The vets in vet-city's worst bar, the I-Club noticed the earthshaking vibrations of the explosions but they were all hearing impaired from years of continuous fighting and loud music so they just assumed the I-Club had got a louder subwoofer and as long as the vibrations weren't enough to spill their beers they didn't care too much.

Freddz posted 06-02-99 07:16 AM ET
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The newbies watched Nell seriously, the last effect of alcohol disappearing...
Trippin flipped a cig up to his mouth and flamed it warm.

"Whatever it is, we be to much to handle. Way too much...Get ready people."

The newbies crossed to the window. The alley was dark and quiet. Dark... still they knew something sinister lurking down there as they watched, waiting, daring them to come down... thriving in the darkness itself.

"There is something down there... A black car I think... it was so fast...I've never...I have a bad..." Nell didn't finish the sentence.

Freddz broke into a sweat. Tfs spoke, but his voice shook in fear.

"My pants are heavier... Lets get outta here?"

The door BANGED!!

The newbies turned, aghast. The door chain held the door barely shut. A mad face popped in between, baring his teeth in a crazier smile than anyone ever had seen.

"Hello pretties!" the man said through his teeth.

"I have a funny story, I will kill you, freak!" Freddz screamed.

"No! Your bad jokes won't work on this one, Freddz. He's a the mad newbie" Tfs said. "He's ... it's Shining, the mad one!!"

Trippin took a step forward, turned on his flamer.

"Back off everyone! Back off! Now!!!"

An axe CRACKED through the door.
"Pretty, pretties! Come to Axeman!" Shining howled from behind the door.

Flames licked the doorway as the mad shape climbed through the whole, it's limbs starting to catch fire.

"Pretty, pretty... Axeman's here... Kiiilll..."

The body stumbled out, it's tortured shape black from the flames. Shining fell to the floor, dead...

"Cool, he's dead. Let's examine him" Trippin said.

"Wait, don't do it. There's always a final scare!" Nellie said.

"WHHOOOAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!" Shining cried as Freddz lifted his head.

Freddz jumped. Shining laid still again.

"**** that was scary! Okay, let's finsish the thing down there, boys"
"Yeah, let's do it"

The newbies jumped through the window to the street. Trippin: a new cigarette in his mouth, flaming it. Tfs: blowing up a huge poison gum. Freddz: trying to remember his worst stories.

And from the dark, while they waited, a black shape slowly rolled out before them, it's vaseline polished hulk reflecting the moon...

Freddz posted 06-02-99 08:58 AM ET
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From the SMACmobile, SMACman grinned at the three pathetic newbies.
"Pathetic dweebs of the SMACalypse. Welcome to my town. You may not know me, but I tell you you won't get to know anyone else after this. Heh... I have killed more newbies than the whole off-topic forum have managed to kill together. And I have enjoyed every second of it. I'm every newbie's worst nightmare. I'm am... I am THE MASTER OF DARKNESS!!! THE PAIN OF EVERY HERETIC NEWBIE!!!!... I AAAAM... I AM THE LEGENDARY--"

"Imran? What are you doing here, dressed up as a cheap leather pimp???" Trippin said incredously.

"Imran, your sexual fantasies are none of our business..."

"Imran get back to your wheelchair before you get yourself hurt. Please. There are dangers lurking..." Tfs said.

SMACman stepped on the pedal, warming up the engine to silence the newbie insects before him. VRROOOOMMM!! VRRRROOOOOMMMM!!! VROOOOM!!! Then barely containing his contempt...

"Ah... So you know who I am." SMACman said icily. "No matter, death will come to you now anyways. For I AM..."

"No, it's SMACman!!!!" Nell shouted terrified from above.

"Can I finish!!!? Pleaaaase!!! FOR I AM --"

The newbies was still puzzled.

"Who's Snackman?"
"Dunno?"
"Better turn on the flamer. Imran looks kinda crazy..."
"I liked him better in his geeky uniform"
"Pretty cool car though"

Imran screamed at the top of his lungs: "SMACMAN! That's who I am! I was the one who stopped your timed bombs! I acn kill, drive like �hell, do cartwheel, and any other thing you newbies can't! And now you'll die you... you..."

"Okay, okay, just don't get upset. By the way, Tfs can do cartwheels as well. You two could team up, become a circus" Trippin was serious.

"Circus...?" Imran spat confused. Speaking to these newbies was no good no more. They just didn't get they were gonna die right here... Yes, right now. VRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!

The SMACmobile accelareted like lightning, targeted at the newbies.

Suddenly Brian Reynolds crossed the street before the car. IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..... "Nooo!!!" Imran screamed and stood on the brakes... The car stopped and Imran flew over an unaware Reynolds into an open manhole in the street. "I'll get you next timeeeee--!!!" The newbies heard a bonebreaking echo from the hole.

"Should have worn seatbelt right?
"Let's get back to Nell and have a beer"
"Wonder why these Vet's never learn?"
"The manhole covers are always on back home"
"Yeah..."
"Wonder when Aredhran's bringing in the chopper?"

The newbies walked back into Dental Floss.

Aredhran posted 06-02-99 06:02 PM ET
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A deafening noise shook the Dental Floss' windows while a gust of wind sent dust billowing around the trio just as they reached the pub's door. Half-blinded by the clouds, the trio wondered what the hell was happening.
Freddz: "Do you think it's Victor ? He's coming back to avenge Imran..."
TFS: "Nah, can't be him. Goob reported he was having a burger at the Nun Smack"
Trippin [nervously fingering his flamethrower's trigger]: "****, what is it ? It's ****ing huge..."

The dust slowly settled to reveal a silhouette casually stepping out of a dark mass still masked by the dust, and walking towards them. Just at this instant, the door of the Dental Floss opened and Nell stepped out.

"What was that noise, guys, did you do that ? It rattled the glasses off the table !"

A strong, yet pleasant voice with a slight French accent came from the still approaching silhouette... "Hi Nell ! Need some ironing done today ?"

Nell: "Oh, Aredhran ! What a nice surprise... You scared the hell out of the boys there !"
Aredhran: "Sorry guys, but"
Trippin: "Scared ? SCARED ? No friggin way... I was just being careful and preparing for the worst"
TFS: "Yeah, right."
Freddz: "MoSe told me you were swift, but you're late... Where's the legendary Swiss precision ?"
Aredhran: "Precision, not punctuality, hehehe."
Nell: "Wanna come inside for a drink ?"
Aredhran: "No, thanks. I saw on my chopper's scopes that your foe escaped. He will be back, no doubt, so we'd better get out of here now..."

Our five heroes walked towards the helicopter, landed right above the manhole into which the SMACman disappeared. Tfs, sharp-eyed as usual, immediately noticed an unusual protuberance at the front, just below the cockpit.

Nell: "Hey, nice 'copter you've got there, dear"
Trippin: "What took you so long anyway ? If Brian hadn't stepped in front of that car, we'd be flat by now..."
Aredhran: "Well, I couldn't resist the temptation to stop by at OldWarrior's Workshop, it was on the way... and guess what ? He had completed a brand new weapon prototype, it's called Plasma Shard phaser. He told me it would beat your flamethrower hands down"
Freddz: "Get out of here... Nothing can be worse that Trip's 8-barreled Flamer"
Aredhran: "No, really, that's what he said. Anyway... it took us a while to mount it on the chopper... So, your bomb did not explode ? How about a live test for that new Shard gun ?"
Tfs: "OK, let's do it !"

The five newbies climbed into the chopper, Aredhran revved up the rotor and took off towards the palace...

JAMstillAM posted 06-03-99 09:51 AM ET
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Back at Old Warrior's workshop, a rather Giapetto-ish looking little hovel on the seedy side of town, OW is startled from his nap by the sound of his door opening. Raising his head from its resting place on his workbench, he groggily eyes the stranger standing in the doorway.
OW: Who are you? What do you want?
Stranger: I have come for the Shard Rifle.
OW: It's not here, go away! (Looking around for a weapon, he sees nothing except a butane lighter)
Stranger: Where is it, old man? (His eyes now glowing red from beneath his hooded cloak, his breath nasty and enveloping OW in a cloud of noxious vapor.) Answer me, or I'll tear it from your mind like a wad of wet toilet paper.
OW: Ow, ow, ow, okay you win. (More afraid of asphyxiation than a Psi attack from the obviously deranged man.) Aredhran bought it. Gave me 50 energy credits, he did.
Stranger: You foolish old man! Why did you sell it to him? He...he's one of...THEM!
OW: I didn't see the harm, he's Swiss, you know? Besides, I needed the money, I'm just a poor old tinkerer. You want to buy a puppet? Hey wait! Where are you off to in such a hurry?

The stranger, realizing that he was dealing with fools, rushed back into the gathering storm, hoping he was not too late.

JAMstillAM posted 06-03-99 12:21 PM ET
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Hurrying through the darkened streets, shielding himself from the increasing patter of rain, the stranger pulled his hood further over his gaunt visage. Popping a breath mint, and reflecting on his predicament, he did what he always did when agitated, he started muttering nursery rhymes. The few winos, too drunk to move out of the rain, didn't even notice as he passed.
"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe... what will I do? What will I do?"

"Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean... The vets and newbies wanna fight and I'm stuck between..."

"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone... To stop this fight, I must ally, but it seems that I have none."

"Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers... Man, I so hungry I could eat a double-decker!"

"I better watch my diet though, maybe just toast and jam... jam?... JAMiAM... yes, that crazy fool might be just stupid enough to stand between them. Just gotta get that idiot spouting prose and maybe they'll all be so confused, I can disarm them before they hurt each other! Now, where can I find him?"

JAMstillAM posted 06-04-99 02:02 PM ET
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Back at The Dental Floss, at a table in the darkest corner of the bar, a sullen figure of a man sat slumped over, sipping his fourth Shirley Temple and nursing a slow recuperation from his most dreadful hypoglycemic crash yet. He was almost feeling human again. Nell, finished on the dance floor, was back on duty, serving drinks.
Nell: Well, hello there. What can I get you? Drink? Cigarettes? Coffee? Lap Dance?

The Man: (peering through one squinty eye, his head still pounding) How about some peace and quiet? Those drunken fools are driving me up the wall. (gesturing towards the three swaggering characters at the front doorway.)

Nell: You know, you really shouldn't come in here, if you can't stand the noise and the people, that is. This is a bar, after all.

The Man: Yeh, that's what it is... now. It used to be a respectable place, one that you could bring your kids to. Now... now look at it. Drunken newbies everywhere. Lap dancers. Veteran wannabees parading around like they are God's own gift. An isle of lost souls, that's what it is now, not a good soul to be found.

Nell: That's not true and you know it!

The Man: Show me one, just one, that isn't lost.

Nell: You're not... are you? And I KNOW who you are... JAMiAM.

A barely noticable change came over the man, who was now, due to the shock of being recognized, able to hold both eyes open. Nell didn't even notice.

The Man: So... you think you know who I am, do you?

Nell: I do. (pulling a chair close and sitting next to him.) And I know you want to help make this a wonderful place, once more, don't you?

JAMiAM: It's hopeless, hopeless I tell you. Too much has happened, too many people here never knew the good times. Too many people here don't want to accept the new blood. Too many who would flame first and ask questions later... if at all! It can't be done.

jsorense posted 06-04-99 02:11 PM ET
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Cue Spaghetti Western music.
Out into the street stepped a tall rangy looking hombre dressed like Gary Cooper from �High Noon.� A Colt�45 PeaceMaker was slung low on each hip. A broad-brimmed hat shaded his steely eyes and long strands of gray hair lay like matted cobwebs down his straight back. As he walked down the street his spurs jingled and something glinted on his chest. It was a large silver star.
The armed hombre walked past Boot Hill, jingle jangle jingle.
He walked past the OK Corral, jingle jangle jingle.
He walked by Silverado Software House, jingle jangle jingle.
He stopped in front of the LongBranch Saloon where a small throng of forum citizens congregated.
There was �Miss Nell," owner and proprietor of the LongBranch.
Freddz �The Kid� leaned up against a post his sharp eyes scanning the horizon for any signs of vets.
trippin daily, the infamous bouncer of the LongBranch leaned back in a chair smoking and counting the notches on the stock of the flame-thrower cradled in his lap.
Tfs99 was there too. Standing there with his thumbs tucked into his gun belt chewing on what looked like a stick of TNT watching for any signs of fear.
Herr Aredhran stood to one side looking a little out of place in lederhosen (sp) and little feathered hat drinking beer from a huge stein.
And finally there was a hooded stranger muttering fractured nursery rhymes to himself.
The hombre approached them. The star on his chest flashed and they could read �Veteran.�
The crowd gasped and reached for their various weapons of choice. But before they let loose a devastating salvo the hombre spoke.
�Howdy gents, you too ma�am.� Tipping his hat toward Miss Nell.
�Welcome to these here parts and make yourselves ta home. There�s plenty of room for all. Why I remember way back when, well it must be over a year now, that we were all new in this unexplored territory. Its changed a lot since then, but so have I, hee hee.� Rambled the ancient hombre as he reached for his pocket.
�You folks have fun now. And here, take this. I sure don�t need it anymore and you might find a use for it some day.� Said the old codger as he took off his star and flipped toward the citizens and disappeared into the sunset, probably on his way to the I-Club.

Cue credits

Freddz posted 06-04-99 07:47 PM ET
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Aredhran switched on the radio. A voice crackled: "Base...here... Mission ... fai..led..?"
Aredhran: "Temporarily... Mission aborted, Sir?...
Base: "Yes... Return to camp...."
Aredhran: "Roger, base... Returning..."
Base: "...Roger Aredh...Out..."
Aredhran: "Out."

Aredhran turned back to his passengers: "No more tries today. Returning to base"
trippin: "****... These vets gonna get away...? We can make it Aredh!"
Aredhran: "Not today... Base orders..."
Tfs: "Man, that's unfair... This drinking got anythin' to do with this sh*t...?"
Nell smiled at their disappointments: "Just base orders... accept it... Don't try to show off for me..."

The rotors started to move... Nell watched as the chopper lifted, the blur of the rotors somehow relaxing her mind...

Trippin sleepily took a matchbox out of his pocket, for once lighting a cigarette the normal way...

Tfs tiredly stared at Old Vet city from above... He had to admit it was a damn beautiful metro... Like a pic of 22nd century Vegas at night... Too bad it had to go one day... Too bad... Hehee... He smiled...

Trippin blinked, close to sleeping now. Suddenly he stared up, shocked! He was staring right into the barrel of a Chaos gun --

"What the fu...? Freddz!?"

Freddz grinned as trippin glanced at his flamer.

"Try it, motherf*cker... I dare ya... Anybody freakin move and this gun's gonna rip trip's skull open... I MEAN it!!!"

The others sat frozen... This was not one of Freddz bad jokes...

Nell: "Freddz...?"
Tfs: "Why...?"
Freddz sneered at the rest: "You surprised? Guess what? You f*ckin should be! Stupid idiots! Once you insulted me... This is payback time..."
trippin: "Insulted you...?"
Tfs was beginning to understand how serious this was: "Look, maybe we have joked once in a --"
Freddz. "Shut the f*ck up!!! I'm not stupid, punks! I never were! Maybe some of ya never met me... So the f*ck what? You're all the same. Ahhh no matter... too late you realized... Too late..."

The newbies were confused... Freddz glanced nervously at Aredhran just to make sure he still had his headpiece on and only concentrating on the flying... He was. Freddz tossed cuffs to the floor. "Everybody cuff themselves... Do it! Now!"

Suddenly a gum was stuck at Freddz face! He grabbed it, threw to the floor: "F*ckin poison gum! Sh*t!!!"

Freddz struck trippin over the face with the gun, knocking him unconscious, then kicked his flamer out of the chopper. A half second after his gun tore holes in the chopper BRRRAAAAMMMM!! as Tfs dogded away for his life... BRRAAAAAMMMMM... Tfs rolled over the edge, one hand barely holding on... breathing hard... He knew the end was coming one way or the other now.... Freddz felt his cheek... it was swollen... bloodied...

"Damn gum! You just dunno who you're dealing with obviously..."

But Freddz had forgot Nell. She kicked him right in the nuts from, then put a knee to in his butt. Freddz was thrown to the copter wall, the chaos gun uselessly flew over the edge.
Freddz spat blood: "Alright... Nell. Lets do it..."
Nell: "Sex? Not with a freak!"
Freddz grinned ironically...
Freddz: "Heh... Funny girl... Lets have it here... See what you can do, eh?"

They exchanged a quick series of martial arts fighting... Suddenly Freddz caught her arm, and wrestled the girl to the floor.

"See Nell? I'm bettar than all of you..."

Pained by Freddz grip, Nell clawed at Freddz face, and suddenly the face seemed to move... Freddz was wearing a mask! The mask fell to the floor... Nell stared incrediously...

The man over her grinned: "You people always thought I was stupid, did ya? Who's stupid now, girl?"
Nell: "Chrisk... ? Impossible... Nooo... but how could you know all those things 'bout Freddz?

Chrisk smiled, it wasn't even a wicked smile...

Nell: "And...and where's Freddz then...?

Chrisk jerked her up to her feet. "Safe mayhaps? Gone...mayhaps? Who knows..." He smiled broader. "Yeah... who knows, girlie..."

Nell swallowed. Chrisk leaned towards her face.

"Give us a kiss shall we?"
Nell forced a grin: "Er.. sure Mr."

Just as Chrisk bent, Nell did her special Judo throw, swinging Chrisk screaming over the edge!

Nell shouted after him: "Sexist pig! Disgusting loser!"

A parachute popped out from Chrisk. "I'll be back, Nellie!!!" Belive it!!!"

Nell ignored him and helped Tfs up. They woke trippin.

Tfs: "Sh*t, wonder what's that was all about?"
Nell: "I dunno. Chrisk's sure isn't a vet.
trippin: "Wish I was there to flame him when he was on the boards."

Nell was getting worried. Not because she liked Freddz that much, but she kinda missed his awful sides... his dreadful jokes... his blond hair... those fluffy tiger socks he wore Sundays... What a nerd... She smiled.

Aredhran's bent back and smiled unknowingly: "Dreadfully boring trip, huh? Whasup?"
Nell: "Nothing much"
trippin tohimself thoughtfully: "I heard Chrisk was a dumbass? Strange, he fooled 'em all..."
Aredhran: "We'll be there in an hour you know!"
Tfs: Great Aredh! You're a great pilot!"
Ardehran: "Yeah..."

Aredhran turned his back to them, spotted a wrinkle in his face. His hand corrected the skin... the... mask...

And without turning he shouted: "Yeah... Kinda nice to be getting back to the camps, huh?"
Nell laughed: "Yeah... Real nice! I would love some real Newbie breakfast when we make it there"
Aredhran grinned diabolically: "Yeah, you'll love the camps where I'm taking you. You'll all love it... I promise you..."

Aredhran laugh drowned in the roar of the rotors...

posted 06-23-99 10:55 AM ET            

Trip awoke with a start, screaming� What a nightmare ! That was really dumb, Freddz was not Freddz, it was Chrisk with a mask, and he threw my Flamer out the Chopper. MY FLAMER ? WHERE IS IT ? Frantically, he started fumbling around, looking for his trusty 8-barrel gun, but it was nowhere to be found.

Day was dawning, Aredhran was still flying the chopper towards the rising sun. �That�s strange�, Trip thought, �I don�t recognize the landscape� We should have landed at the camp already�

Barren plains were rushing below them, cold, arid and rocky, with an occasional patch of dark snow here and there. �Hey, Ared� what�s this place ? Where are you taking us ?� Nell and TFS were awake too at this point and tried to wipe sleep away from their eyes.

Aredhran was not answering. The copter was now flying fast around a low hill above a forest of tall pinetrees. Nell stepped into the cockpit and sat on the copilot seat and looked at the young man. His usually handsome and smooth face looked really tense with weird wrinkles on the forehead, cheeks and neck. �What�s wrong, Aredhran ?� Still, no answer�

Abruptly, the helicopter stopped and started descending straight down, and after a couple seconds it landed brutally in the middle of a group of concrete houses huddled against the hillside, hidden from view by the high trees. Aredhran switched off the engine, and turned towards the others: �Get off. Now�. His voice sounded strange, now that the noise from the engine was gone.

TFS said �But, what�s this place ? It�s not our base� Where are we ?�
�Get out of the chopper, I said�

Trippin was already outside, his spirit seemingly broken by the loss of his flamethrower. Nell was right behind him, trying her best to lift his spirits �Don�t you worry luv, we�ll get you a brand new one at Flames R Us tomorrow�� �Yeah, but it won�t have all the marks for all the people I have charbroiled� �Bah, I�m sure you�ll put even more onto the new one, what with the war coming and all, come on, let�s get something to eat, I�m starving�

Back on the Chopper, TFS still hesitated, staring at Aredhran� �I�m not stepping out before you tell me where we are� He reached for his pocket, searching for his poison gum, but it was not there. Aredhran waved a little box in front of him �Are you looking for this ?� Then TFS looked down at his friend�s other hand to see a shredder pistol pointed at his stomach �Now get out of the chopper before I decide to punch half a million little holes into your guts�.

�You�re not Aredhran !�
�Congratulations, smartass.�
�Who are you, then ?�
�Shut up !�

A group of men armed with shredder rifles stepped out of one of the buildings and quickly surrounded Nell and Trippin, while �Aredhran� was leading TFS towards them. Surprise painted on their faces, the three newbies were handcuffed and thrown into a small house. Right before the door closed, Aredhran shouted �You�re lucky, the punishment spheres are not operational yet� you�ll have a couple days respite, MWAHAHAHAHA�

SLAM ! The door closed, leaving them in the dark. Silence settled, then a voice� �Who�s there ?�

posted 06-23-99 06:04 PM ET            

Stumbling in the dark, TFS walked across the cell in the direction of the sound. He could guess more than see a figure sprawled on the floor. �I can�t see. It�s a man, that�s for sure, but I don�t know who it is�

Trippin: �Is there something in his pockets ?�
TFS: �Let me check� No� Oh wait, a zippo ! Let there be light��
Nell: �Freddz !�
Aredhran: �Looks like he�s hurt, he�s bleeding��

�I knew those first-aid classes would come in handy someday�� Nell started bandaging Freddz wounds while Trippin held the zippo, staring dreamingly at the dancing flame and muttering �Bastards. I�ll make them pay for what they did� Wait till I get my Flamethrower back�

Aredhran: �How did you get here anyway ?�
TFS: �You brought us here. Well, I mean, it was not really you, but someone who looked like you. And Freddz was with him too, only it was not Freddz, it was Chrisk wearing a mask. Nell threw him out of the chopper.�
�Chrisk ? You�re joking, right ?�
�No kidding man, I�m telling you�
�What would this moron be doing around here, and what does he want ?�
Trippin: �Well, it doesn�t matter since we threw him overboard� But the bastard fell out with my flamethrower�

Nell: �Hush, guys, I think he�s coming to��
Freddz: �Chrisk� Evil Newbies� Must warn others� Must��
Nell: �Are you alright, luv ?�
Freddz: �Destroy forums� stop them� Kalahari��
Trippin: �He�s delirious��

TFS: �We gotta get out of here�
Trippin: �No kidding��
Aredhran: �TFS, if you could reach in my left pocket, there, these morons did not even think about searching me, and I still have my Swiss Army knife��
Trippin: �Here comes MacGyver��
TFS: �Got it.�
Aredhran: �OK, now start working on these chains��

posted 06-24-99 03:55 AM ET            

To all the people who feel that this story should go in the Non-SMAC forum... I agree, but I had a good reason not to post it there. Most people involved in the story do not actively follow the "other" forum, and thus would miss it. Moreover, there is a larger audience in here.

Also, in order not to break the flow of the story, please do not post anything not related to the plot. Post your comments in Nell's "Round of Applause...." thread. However, feel free to contribute to the story if you would like to.

Thanks for your understanding. And now we'll resume with our Heroes' adventures.

posted 06-24-99 07:16 AM ET            

"I don't see why they need me out there MikeH. You are acting head of Pharmacology and Venom's providing security, what do they need me for?"

"You are here to provide narrative posting incentive, NPI."

"What?"

"It's a technical IIIS pharmacalogical term, when we started trying to cure SMAC addiction we didn't want to experiment on IIIS members the tests are too..."

"Torturous?"

"I was going to say complicated but there is some mental torment involved, still what is the cruel and cynical torture of a few hapless newbies when there is so much to gain. Anyway we had to develop ways to tempt people to post to get up to level IV SMACA."

"True. Venom's quite quiet."

"Someone towed his dumpster, and he's nearly out of chaingun ammo."

"At least he's not going beserk."

"He says it's no fun being a psychotic if you can't use your chaingun."

"I suppose he knows what he is talking about. So what has the Director General got for us today?"

"Three newbie terrorists."

"Are you sure no more of them are agents, old forum pests or something in disguise."

"Not 100% certain... but they all show signs of advanced level IV SMACA. Perfect for our next experiment."

"Why didn't you bring Lab Assistants Layher and Cindy?"

"The tortu... I mean testing process has evolved beyond the need for hapless stereotype females, it's time the IIIS dragged it's lab assistant program into the 21st century."

"You don't mean...."

"Yep, we are going to probe their brains with large needles and stick tubes in them besides one of them is a girl."

"Ugh."

"That's what Venom said."

"That's all Venom can say!."

posted 06-24-99 11:33 AM ET            

�Report. How did it go?� The voice was deep and strong.
�Pffft. What do you expect? Chrisk ****ed up, as I said he would. The freaking idiot just couldn�t contain himself and went south barely one hour after we took off. He had the situation under control for, what, 30 seconds or so? Then he found himself with poison gum all over the face and Nell kicking him in the nads� It didn�t take long for the newbies to throw him overboard. He even dumped Trippin�s new Flame-thrower prototype��
The man�s hand abruptly stopped caressing the cat �The one R&D people so badly wanted?�
The cat meowed, his master resumed petting him and it started purring.
�Yes. But they didn�t doubt me before it was too late, and I�ve brought them all here.�
�You did well. Go get some rest and report back here in the morning.�
�Yes, sir�. The man with Aredhran�s face headed for the door.
�And� Victor?
�Sir?�
�Remove that mask, will you ? You don�t really want to look like a newbie, now do you?�
�Yes, Sir, uh, I mean No Sir�
Victor Galis removed the mask and, with a chuckle, threw it in the fish tank where the voracious piranhas devoured it in a matter of seconds. �Wish I were throwing his real head in there��
�Your time will come, Victor, your time will come. Patience.�
�I know, but I��
�Dismissed.�
Victor Galis hesitated for a second, then thought better of it, saluted and left the room.

posted 06-24-99 11:58 AM ET            

Hmmmm... I am a newbie, or fairly new at least, but I post more often in the Off-Topic with the vets, on the other hand I like most of the newbies, but on the other hand I like most of the vets too.

posted 06-24-99 02:09 PM ET            

Victor stood alone in the night, free....

Every second seemed like forever for Victor... Like one huge fantasy. At long last he had captured his dream, he realized. He had sold himself to a high prize of course...

Yes, a very high prize. He didn't like his boss, those he worked for. Still, it was worth the bill. Revenge.

Suddenly the night roared. Victor looked up and smiled: streams of light cut the sky in pieces... Red light, blue light... beauty... He stretched his arms out...

"Dieee, newbieeees dieee!!!!" his voice sang in the night... As the echoes of his voice died out, Victor darkened as he contemplated his outcry... Did he want to kill those newbies that bad?

But he couldn't just kill them, now could he? Orders. Then again, who cared about the boss, he thought. He, Victor, could finish them off himself. Then blame it all on some accident. Maybe the boss would believe him... No, he wouldn't, Victor realized. He was too damn smart, too paranoid. Hmm, too bad....

Victor looked up again, the streams of light had disappeared. The beauty was gone, the bomber crafts had disappeared for their targets... All except one, whose hulk sank silently over the airfield and landed next to Victor.

Kapitan walked out of it. Victor grinned.

"How's it going?"
"Great, the newbies and the vets will have war soon."
"You think?"
"I know" Kapitan lit a cigarette. "We have bombed both capitals. It's only a matter of time now. I don't think the newbies will tolerate it. The vets certainly won't. They both will think the other is to blame. Boss will be happy, I tell you."
"Do you know the effects of your bombings yet?"
"Completely wiped out 51st thread in the Newbie capital. They won't know it's there now. Those new bombs are awesome. But it's still going on. We don't know all the eff--"

Suddenly a voice interrupted:

Nell: "NOOOOO!!!!"
Trippin: "Nell! Come back! They're armed!"

But Nell ran over the field. The rest of the newbies ran after her, the shackles still on their hands, but free from the chains. Victor quickly drew his gun.

Nell: "Not my Girlies thread!? Please... All my girl friends lived there..."
Kapitan: "Sorry, girl. It's all wiped out. Never seen anything like those bombs. No trace really. The thread just disappeared, won't even suspect I bombed this one. Lots of threads will be damaged or destroyed tonight girlie. In both cities..."
Nell: "You... cruel monster."
Kapitan smiled: "Yup... Is that all, girl? Vic? Yeah? "

The newbies were silent, held under Victor's gun.

Kapitan: "Okay. I'll leave this to you then, Victor. I know you just joined the Earth Federation to kill this rabble. So get on with it, I don't care to watch."

Kapitan left the group.

Victor sneered: "Escaped prisoners... even the boss can't do anything about this...Sorry, I will just have to kill you. What rotten luck, eh?"

Suddenly trippin flipped up his secret mini-flamer he had kept under his sleeve. Its flames burned Victor's hand. Screaming, Victor dropped his gun.

Freddz: "Yeah!! Take him!"

Tfs threw himself at Victor. A crackling sound... Tfs landed on the ground, empty-handed. Aredhran picked up Victor's gun. Victor was nowhere!

Nell: "Where you get that gun from, Trippin?"
Trippin blushed: "Ahhh, I was too shamed to admit I had such a smallish thing."

Then Victor's laugh echoed...

Freddz: "Sh*t...?"
Aredhran: "What happened? Where...?"
Nell: "I'm scared..."

Victor(from nowhere): "Yeah, scary isn't it? This new technology from Earth even frightens me at times. Unconventional warfare. You see, you can't see me. But I... I see - you - newbie scum...".

Victor's unsettling laugh rang. Even with Victor's gun, the newbies knew this could be the fight of their lives...

posted 06-25-99 04:15 AM ET            

MikeH winced at the terrible pun, then, in his best Jean Luc voice; "On screen."

Imran was holed up in a small foxhole, covered fron head to toe in the IIIS patent white and grey forum camo gear.

"Imran what are you doing away from Apolyton? We need to keep track on Yin's struggle for power."

"I know MikeH but my contacts found out about a plot which could threaten all the forums."

"Go on."

"It seems there is a strange man known only as the Kapitan, he has instigated bombing raids on both Newbiesville and Vet City. He seems to have taken over the Institute's reearch facility in the Faction Forum Forest."

"Exactly half way between Newbiesville and Vet City" Interrupted jsorense. Venom carried on filing down his bullets. Oblivious to the discussion.

MikeH looked puzzled. "But what about The Director General and his crack force of Vampires In Black?"

A flash of anger passed Imran's face "It seems the cowardly Kapitan attacked in broad daylight, the VIBs were caught hanging by their feet in the barracks."

"That bastard."

"Yes. He's got Victor Galis working for him."

"Victor? This is serious. What other assets do we have in the area?"

"Nothing, you are it. The only friendlies in the area are the Newbie Terrorists and The Director General."

"What about you?......... Imran? Imran?"

Imran's image on the view screen went and switched off the communicator. MikeH and jsorense saw what looked like a gun barrel in the background.

* * * * * * * * *

Victor pushed The DG and Imran into the lit area where the newbie terrorists were waiting. Trip's gun leapt into the air but Nell stopped him. "Wait Trip. They look like prisoners too."

"But they're Vets, let me kill them!"

Imran looked up from where he was kneeling. He was by the DG's side. The DG had obviously been heavily beaten and tortured. "This man needs help, you are going to need our help and the help of our friends if we are to get out of here."

"He's right, however much we hate them we've got to work together, at least until we stop this madman and his slobbering lackey."

The DG raised his head to speak Imran lowered his ear to listen.

"What did he say?" Nell seemed to have taken command of the Newbies by default at the moment.

"He said Get out of the light."

posted 06-25-99 07:54 AM ET            

Aredhran screamed �NOOOOOOOOOOOO!� and pulled the trigger on the shredder pistol, emptying the clip in the general area where the shot came from
TFS rushed to the woman�s side �NELL! NELL? Say something!�

Mad laughter echoed through the clearing �Mwahahaha! Give me a couple seconds to carve a notch on my rifle, and then I�ll pick the next target! You�re all gonna die, newbie scum!�

Newbies and Vets looked at each other, pondering what to do next. They knew it was hopeless fighting an enemy they couldn�t see. Deep inside themselves, they also knew they had to unite and fight together as one against this new threat. The future of SMAC, the forums and NIM, not to mention their very own lives depended on it.

Still Trippin could not resist a little taunt� �So, Imran, you lost your Cheap Pimp leather costume? And where did you put your wheel chair?�
Imran was about to retort, but the Director General croaked ��no�time�for this��
Aredhran �He�s right, Trip�. Give Imran a break, we��
TFS �Lookout! The red dot!�
�Where?�
�Here!�

Indeed, a little red patch of light could be seen running on the floor, heading straight for Aredhran, who was still carrying the now empty shredder pistol.�

Imran �Where is Victor? Can you see him?�
Trippin �No�
TFS �Run!�
Aredhran �Everybody, take cover! Trippin, TFS, save Nell�Go for the trees, I�ll try to delay him.�
Imran �I�ll take care of the Director General�
Victor �Delay me? Dream on, newbies, you can�t do anything to stop me, mwahahaha! You will DIE!�

In spite of Aredhran desperate dodging, running and ducking, the red dot was getting closer and closer. Stealing a quick glance over his shoulder, the Swift Swiss could see that the others were now safely under the shelter of the forest. He stopped running and turned around, looking straight at where he thought Victor was

�Come on out, you chicken ****� It�s easy to bully unarmed newbies when you�re cloaked and holding a laser rifle. Come out and fight like a man�
�I can beat you with my bare hands, scumbag� Victor suddenly reappeared near Kapitan�s bomber, an impossibly large rifle in his hands, which he threw on the floor. �I don�t even need that to kill you�

The two men were circling each other in the clearing, exchanging glances and launching quick attacks, each easily parried by the other. Soon they engaged in a spectacular martial arts fight, but Aredhran�s swiftness was no match for Victor�s superior training and experience, and he was losing ground, accepting hit after hit as he thought �I hope the others will make it to safety�. Victor�s foot caught him right under the chin, throwing him backwards. He fell on the hard floor, and before he could get back up, the Mad Vet was upon him.
Victor �Prepare to meet your fate, newbie�
�Meow!�
Victor �Meow? But there are no cats in this area� Except��
�Victor?�
�Damn! The Boss!� Turning around, he indeed saw the dark silhouette standing there a few meters away.
�What did I tell you about the newbies, Victor?�
�But, er� Sir, they were trying to escape, Sir !�
Aredhran, recovering a bit, painfully propped himself up on his elbows, trying to catch a glimpse of that mysterious man Victor was calling �Sir�.
�I told you your time would come, Victor. Why did you use *this*?�, the Boss said, holding the Fusion Rifle in front of him �we have other, non-lethal means to deal with escaping prisoners.�

At this very moment, the clouds parted and Aredhran finally saw the dark man�s face as moonlight fell upon it�

�YIN !�

posted 06-25-99 08:40 AM ET            

Aredhran interrupted before the manic laughter got too manic. "So now are you going to put me in an easily escapable unescapable death trap and let me secape to warn my friends?"

"No I'm going to shoot you where you lie without a second thought."

"Have you got no sense of cinematic history?"

"Yesm but I want to win." Yin raised his rifle but in the background behind him rose the sleek black shape of the IIIS stealth chopper.

posted 06-25-99 09:16 AM ET            

Hmmm... I wonder where he's going.

Never having been overly friendly with yin he decided to follow him.

Hmmm... He seems to be going for the SMAC forums, is yin gonna get involved in the war. This is weird, he's heading for the factions forum, I've never seen him in there.

posted 06-25-99 09:37 AM ET            

5 min later(After Yin's diatribe)
Picker snuck out of his hiding place. Moving slowly to Yin.

"Yes, but I want to win", Yin said as he raised his rifle.

Picker reached around Yin and grabbed the rifle.

"Nope, Nope, I don't think your gonna do that", he said.

"You can't stop me, nobody can stop me", Yin ranted.

"Oh yeah, well I think you will let these people go, or I will paralyze you with my illogic", Picker threatened.

"Never, these are all that stand between me and victory", he replied.

"Alright, you asked for it. Five bucks is five bucks, therefore, you have three eyes. But three is an undefined number, therefore, you have moustache eyes. One plus one equals three, and three doesn't exist, therefore, green is a..."

posted 06-25-99 10:08 AM ET            

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The DG looked up from where he was sitting, his jaw dropped slowly and his eyerows raised "Venom." He said his lips barely moving. Imran spun round so fast he nearly fell over. "Oh my god, the DG's right, they've unleashed Venom. We've got to get out of here, nothing can stop him when he is in one of these beserker rages."

* * * * * * * * * *

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
MikeH lost his grip on Venom's shirt and watched him fall to the ground, his arms already beginning to spin up.
"It's OK Mike, we can get to them before Venom, I know we can. Q lock on to the DG and take us in, we've got to get them out of there before Venom smells them." jsorense tried to sound more confident than he really did
"We're going in."

* * * * * * * * * *

Yin picked up his rifle, Picker's attention focused now on the oncoming dervish of blood and destruction. He raised the rifle and aimed directly at Venom. Victor spotted the exhausts of a rocket pack under Yin's coat.

"Take me with you Yin, I can help, I can help!"

posted 06-25-99 11:27 PM ET            

Pushing the 'copter to the very edge of its performance envelope, Q dives, jinking left and right to avoid the AA fire coming in from the ground.

======

Something falls from the IIIS stealth copter. It hits the ground and starts moving towards Yin and Picker. Its motion a blur. Spinning in three dimensions it soon became surrounded by a softening aura of light dust. Then a sudden acceleration both in it's linear and angular velocities accompanied by a deep roaring boom which washes over Yin, Victor and Picker. The shockwave seeming to make the air so thick that the combatants movements slow until they're almost imperceptible.

======

MikeH yells at jsorense again.
"Dangit, j, can't you keep it in until you get to the bloody john?"

"Sorry, but I think Q's mad for some reason," replies jsorense.

Shouting from the cockpit, Q says, "You're damn right I am! Not only is this not my idea of fun, they've scratched the paint on this beauty of a toy!"

Jinking left and right, the 'copter finally manages to put itself in between Yin and Venom.

Q, with a feral grin on his lips, kisses the ring on his finger one last time before punching the throttle up. "I'm BAACK!!!"

======

Yin, who had gotten the perfect shot at Venom, is shocked at the sudden blur that appears between him and his target. After the initial shock wears off, however, his finger tenses...

======

...As Q prepares to launch the net...

======

posted 06-25-99 11:33 PM ET            

Q, cursing, reaches for the alternate net launcher, but before he reaches for it, the control panel is blown away.

Trailing smoke, Q is forced to bring the 'copter back up to 100m, before diving again - right on top of Yin's position.

======

Split between shooting the ball of fury and the falling 'copter, Yin decides to go after the ball. His finger tightened.

======

Screaming, Q drives the 'copter downward, ever faster.

======

Screaming, jsorense falls toward the cockpit, in order to better strangle the clearly insane pilot.

======

Screaming, Victor and Picker both try to flee the scene.

======

Screaming, Venom rumbles ever closer to Yin's location.

======

posted 06-26-99 01:27 AM ET            

As the next pretender tried desperately to set his sights on Yin (who was nothing but a blur, like a shadow on speed), Yin himself had time to brew some coffee and read a good book. And as the nearly frozen would-be assassins near him trembled and fell over themselves, he pondered:

Should I simply maim them for old times' sake? Maybe I'll read them some of my poetry? Send them my copy of CtP? No. Better to kill them. Then again, how about if I just brew another cup of Rasberry-blend? They'll tire soon enough. Death or tea? Great men make such decisions.

posted 06-26-99 02:36 AM ET            

Great story!

posted 06-27-99 06:40 PM ET            

"Scratch the paint of my toy will they, those savages, fiends, barbarians, demons, monsters, devils!" screamed Q Cubed as he quickly leafed through his thesaurus.

"Q Cubed, I'm sorry you got into this mess, but its all MikeH's fault, really." Screamed jsorense trying to placate the ace pilot while diverting the blame from himself as he wiped something vile, green and viscous off his chin.

"I'll show you, I'll show all of you." Cried Q Cubed as he performed yet another impossible acrobatic maneuver in an attempt to either crash the coper, recover Venom, save the prisoners or all of the above or none of the above.

posted 06-27-99 09:41 PM ET            

jsorense's eyes widen in shock, and fear. "What are you doing?!?!?!"

"Meditating. Trust in the force, j."

"The Force? You idiot! That's only in the fictional world of Star Wars!"

"The Force? OH! No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the centripetal force. Watch."

As the 'copter, now without human control in the middle of an impossible acrobatic feat is spinning toward the ground, Q stretches, and then calmly presses two red buttons.
"Take THAT, you bloody fiends! NOBODY scratches my toys!"

Four brilliant flares light up the sky, as the passengers of the 'copter close their eyes in nausea.

======

yin and Venom, now facing each other, circle like swordfighters, each looking for the weakness in the other. yin knew that his superfast reflexes would help him fire the gun, but it would do squat in Venom's maelstrom. Venom knew that his cyclone would never be able to catch the elusive yin. So on they circled...

======

Two of the four brilliant points of light hurled themselves out in spirals, ever increasing in size. Faster and faster they spun, and wider and wider became the arcs they cut in the air.

Down and down they spun, until finally POOF! they both exploded...

======

...And threw nets around both yin and Venom. yin, caught by surprise, turned just in time to see the net wind itself around him tight. Venom, angered by the net, starts spinning around. Or trying to. The net holds him fast.

======

"Got them!" yelled Q to his passengers. Turning to jsorense, Q hands him a small pill and a cup of liquid.

"What's this? Are you trying to poison me for dragging you in here?" asked jsorense suspiciosly, and nauseously.

"It's a airsickness pill. I forgot to put them in the vomit bags in the back. The liquid's just a healing brew I picked up in a Club somewhere. Pholus Mutagen, I believe it was called. It'll make you feel all better," responded Q, turning back to the controls and grabbing the stick.

Pulling the 'copter out of its spin, and bringing it back up, Q pushed another few buttons, lowering the winches to pick both yin and Venom up as the 'copter hovered. jsorense, deciding that Q could be trusted now, takes the pill.
"Y'know, Q, you really had me worried there, being that enraged awhile back."

"Oh, relax. I just remembered that I can get rid of the scratch by painting over it."

"Riight..." responded jsorense, moving back to the passenger section of the 'copter. "Mike, I really think that Q's a bit imbalanced."

======

The other two points of light, forgotten temporarily, extricate themselves from the spiral and seek out their two victims.

posted 06-28-99 05:09 AM ET            

"How can you help?"

"Yin has set the precedent, if he is going to to take the safety off his imagination and boost his physical prowess mentally then one of us must do the same."

"Let me go...."

"No jsorense, you are the voice of reason ar the IIIS without your guiding, calming ramblings the whole place would fall apart, there are plenty of good replacement Acting Pharmacology directors around. Now we don't have much time for this."

"Hollywood's First Law of film making, there is always enough time to complete an in depth discussion no matter what the time pressures."

"Hollywood's Zeroth Law; I'll be back." With that MikeH leapt from the open door of the chopper....

"Mike, I shut the door!"

Whoops.

"Hollywood's Zeroth Law; I'll be back." With that MikeH leapt through the recently closed door of the chopper sending fragments of glass and radar absorbant paint spraying outwards in a hemispherical mist. Mike then plummeted to the ground landing with a Hulk like BOOM directly between Venom and Yin. Both of whom were just struggling to their feet.

Mike motioned to Venom, waving him back.

Mike seemed to grow.

Yin matched him.

Suddenly Yin and Mike rocketed into the air, their minds locked in a titanic mental struggle, thought and counter thought probing for a weakness as they hung suspended 100 ft above the ground. Held there by the intense field of mental energy. If one ventured inside the battle they would see a strobing blur of images, the entire range of sights from the combatants brains pumping out as fast as they could visualise them, Yin methodically organising and stacking his thoughts, working through the most likely avenues, Mike countering with his inspiration. Planning nothing, relying on his feelings to guide him. The two techniques so completely cancelling each other out that the resulting information mixed and neutralised. Thus the strobing pictures visible to an outsider were safe, warm images. What Yin and Mike saw was too horrific to describe as they dug deep into the darkest parts of their brains for more terrible visages.

posted 06-28-99 10:21 AM ET            

Damn, gotta come to my senses.

Picker shook his head, got up and looked back.

Wow, Mike's going head to head with Yin. What's Victor doing over there.

Picker walked over to where Victor appeared to be sneaking up on Aredhran and the other newbies.

"Get revenge. Hahahaha. Revenge. Ha", Victor mumbled to himself.

"Victor, what are you doing?", Picker asked.

"Revenge", Victor mumbled.

"I think you best turn around and leave, Victor, or else", Picker said.

Victor turned and looked at him, "Or else what?"

"I will kill you and eat your bones", Picker replied.

"Ha, you ca..", Victor scoffed

"YOUR BONES", Picker interrupted.

"Wha..", Victor started to say.

"YOUR BONES"

"You can't harm me", Victor said.

posted 06-28-99 08:45 PM ET            

He had heard there was a new battle brewing, and by the sounds and lights ahead he new that a titanic melee was being fought ovewr the horizon.

posted 06-29-99 07:55 AM ET            

"No Yin there isn't, we are going to destroy each other."

"Then we must stop, you will be killed along with me."

"I know but someone has to stop you."

"You really think this is the best way?"

"No, but I've started now."

"So stuck in your ways. You have been here too long, your imagination is too jaded, filled with the history of these forums. You can't anticipate anymore, you are falling back on old cliches and stock old forum references. Laughing about the old days not pressing forward."

"No Yin, you are wrong." The growing sense of fear that Yin was right. "We are encouraging the growth of the Forums."

"You have lost your edge, passion has gone hasn't it."

"No. I may have slumbered. Sometimes you need to leave the forums to look after themselves but it has been too long. The IIIS has lingered in Off-Topic for too long. We allowed this insane newbie - vet conflict to get out of hand. It is time to restore order to the Forums."

"You have no power over these newbies. There are posters here who see my generation of posters as vets, they don't know the IIIS you are the wierd guys from Off-Topic."

"No Yin, that's where you are wrong, the Off-Topic forum has it's share of new posters."

"Newbies."

"No, you see you are right in a way Yin we can't control the posters on any forum. No-one can. Your plot is doomed to failure because people will always post what they think. When you get censorship and manipulation people stop posting."

"So how do you expect to restore order to the forums?"

"It has already been done Yin, you have done it, you have united the forums against a common foe. Without you we wouldn't be able to fight you."

"What about Victor?"

"You really think he can help you now? What do you see down there, jsorense helping Nell and Aredhran helping the DG. Picker, one of your former underlings battling Victor who is only looking after himself now. You've lost Yin."

"Not yet MikeH, not yet."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The outrider was unaware of the full situation, all he could see was Venom, Q^3 and jsorense loading his obviously injured friends onto the IIIS stealth chopper.

He spoke into his throat mike not to the mountain base this time but to the crack SMAC Assault Squad team in the woods.

"All units go!"

* * * * * * * * * *

As MikeH looked round he saw the edge of the woods explode with gunfire, troops charging out towards the stealth chopper.

"Nooooooooo!"

posted 06-29-99 12:57 PM ET            

The Outrider momentarily thought of calling back to the Mountain stronghold to summon Michael the Great to inflict his ego into this battle and sway it to conclusion, but he realized that these swirling ego manifestaions in their maelstrom would easily be able to detect the call for help.

A new plan was born.

Keeping his eye on the lethal potentiality of Venom, and nodding at the cooperation of the Vets and some of the Newbies who were approaching Veteran status on their own, (how they would shudder to think that), the Outrider moved with out most stealth through the forest boundaries, postition his "forces".

He paused for a moment as he felt a disturbance near by, a lethal prescence filled with anger, hate, and yes, fear.

The disturbance passed.

The moment was now.

* * * * * * * * * *

He spoke into his throat mic, not to the mountain base this time, but to the "crack SMAC Assault Squad team" in the woods.

"All units go!"

His "troops" exploded in assault.

* * * * * * * * * *

As Ego mainfestaion of MikeH looked round he saw the edge of the woods explode with gunfire, troops charging out towards the stealth chopper.

"Nooooooooo!"

Distraction, mental link gone. Damn, where's Yin gone?

* * * * * * * * * *

The manifestations were distracted, their focus gone, the Outrider could now make sure that the energy nexus that existed here, that allowed these manifestations to bloom into existence in the first place, could now be reached and hopefully destroyed.

Balance must be restored.

posted 06-29-99 10:40 PM ET            

"ARRRRWHHHOOOHHHHHGGGGGgod damn, I've gotta stop charging in like a madman during the first five minutes. This phoenix sh*t just takes too long to be helpful."

posted 06-30-99 10:37 AM ET            

So intent on the action was he that his heart missed a beat when a strong arm wrapped around his neck and a gun was pointed at his head. A cold, quiet voice said: "Call your dogs back. Now."

"But..."

"Don't make me do this." The voice was just as calm as before, but the arm had tightened around the Outrider's neck. In his guts, he knew that man was not to be taken lightly.

He rasped "All hands, Abort mission... I repeat, Abort. Lieutenant, take the men back the rallypoint." Instantly, the attackers fell back in perfect order.

"Good. Now let's hope for your sake that nobody was hurt". The Outrider felt an edge of anger and concern in the man's voice as he pushed him forward.

A few seconds later, they reached the IIIS chopper where jsorense was still pondering whether he should release Venom against the enemy or simply tell Q to take off. Freddz turned his head towards the newcomers.

"Anybody hurt ?"

TFS "No"
Trip' "We're fine"
Q "They made holes in my Chopper. Bastards ! j, release Venom, they must pay"

Aredhran stepped into the light, guiding the Outrider at the point of his gun. "Look what I got... I told you I heard something !"

TFS "Excellent. He'll have some questions to answer, but we must get out of here, the others will surely come back"

Aredhran "Not as long as we have him..."

jsorense "The chopper's to small to fit all of you !"

Trip "Ours is still back there... It was a bit damaged, but I'm sure it still flies."

Aredhran "OK, I'll go get it and meet you back here. TFS, you come with me. Trip, watch over Nell and the DG, with Freddz. And make sure this guy does not get away, he's our life insurance right now." Throwing the outrider on the floor at Freddz feet, Aredhran started to run, but stopped abruptly "Where's Imran ?"

Imran "Back here, dude. I'm with Mike... He's in some sort of coma or a trance, I don't know. The fight with Yin must have drained him."

posted 06-30-99 12:07 PM ET            

Yin smiled. Well, Darkstar PRESUMED Yin smiled. His aura had that feel to it. But unlike most, Doctor Darkstar saw right through the holographic system that his friend used to display a face. After all, he had built it for Yin. Yin's true face had been lost in a tragic forum accidents ages ago, in Internet time. And Yin had yet to choose a new for real. "All in good time..." is all any of Yin's companions could get out of him about it.

"Bah! Aredhran takes advantage of Gooby's friend codes to sneak up on Gooby and grab him up? Those too have fought over who's buying that round of beer more than anything else. Bah! I just don't see it. And it was such a beautiful deployment."

Yin continued to keep his council to himself.

"Maybe all that paradigm shifting is catching up with him. humm..."

Darkstar knew his ally in the Quest For A Better Game was up to something. But what? Yin's quiet presence gave nothing away. Suddenly, the Doctor understood a part of it as he watched how the Ancient Lurkers had started accepting Yin as one of their own again. "Brilliant. But I don't know why we would need those Yin.... unless..."

Horror suddenly became very visible on Darkstar's face. "No Yin. Tell me it isn't that! There can be only one possible reason we would need the combined might of the Lurkers... Please! Tell me its not an invasion of...." Darkstar could not finishing verbalizing the thought... it would lend it more power.

Yin racked his mind, seeking the answer to so what could trouble his ally's normally unshakeable mind. Finally, he decided to give up and just BS the Dark One. After all, who would know the difference? "No, DS, its not that." Yin put all the confidence of a 5K poster into his voice.

All the stress, worry, and horror left Darkstar in small waves of black imps. "[long sigh.] Thank Goodness!" Darkstar's normal pleasant, but arrogant, contenence reasserted itself. "I couldn't face another Smurf war. The last one nearly destroyed me."

It took all of Yin's self control to not burst out laughing. Smurfs? He's friend always proved full of surprises.

Looking at the nearby Lurkers, Darkstar noticed a slight agitation. "Yin, we had best move. Your 'Allies' will eventual peirce our concealment if we stay here longer."

Yin nodded. He waved the order to his cadre, and as one, they slipped among the Lurkers, and disappeared.

posted 06-30-99 12:29 PM ET            

"OK, get your ass back to the firaxis forums, and stay there. If I see you here again, I won't be nearly so lenient", Picker warned him.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I won't be back", Victor said.

---------------------------------------------
Hmmm... there's the newbies, and the vets, but where is aredhran, and tfs.

Picker ran back to find out what had happened.

Nodding in tripping dailys direction Picker said, "Trip, what's happened, I kinda missed most of it", finally noticing MikeH, "What the hells wrong with Mike?"

"We're not sure, the fight with yin did something to him", tripping daily replied.

"Aw damn. And how's Nell and the DG doing?" Picker asked.

"Still pretty bad."

"Damn, this was horrible", Picker said.

posted 06-30-99 01:52 PM ET            

The Outrider subvocalized a message through his throat mic back to his beast he had arrived here on, and it faded further into woods chasing the disturbance that passed by earlier. The Outrider had a hunch who that had been.

So far things had gone mostly as planned, the ego battle between Yin and MikeH was over and the chance of meltdown of the energy nexus was diminished.

If the Outrider could make sure that the forces here left then he would be able to continue with destroying the energy nexus safely.

Outside the chopper Venom was swaying back and forth rhythmically, staring at the Outrider, small drops of spittle continuously dropping from the gaping maw that was his mouth.

Q Cubed kicked him sharply in his ribs, "Don't you ever think of damaging my chopper again."

"Q 3, it is merely a collection of metallic parts joined in precision, and really quite inconsequential. If any of my Lieutenants think for even a moment that I am not safely alive in this chopper, then it would be destroyed in a matter of moments, and it wouldn't even be their primary target."

Trippin jumped onboard and squatted by the Outrider, roughly rolled him over and slapped on a pair of restraints and keyed in the electronic locking code. When the Outrider rolled back over Trippin quietly but forcefully asked, "Who are you? Who do you work for? What do you want and how do we keep your men at bay?" Trippin's Cajun accent added an air strength to the questions, so did the mini flamer held to the Outriders crotch.

"My name is unimportant, as it is unknown to you. I work with a collection of people whose cause is not unlike your own. I was attempting to control a dangerous situation here and as long as my lieutenant believes I am alive you will not be attacked. If you want MikeH, Nell, and the DG to recover then I can lead you to a Healing Nexus hidden by some faulty Java script."

"Listen monkey boy, I have more reason to fry your pathetic excuse for nuts and serve them as kibbles to Venom than I have to follow you."

"I think if you were to look to the woods you will find that you are mistaken", the Outrider responded.

At that moment the Outriders trusty steed, a Firaxian Vorpal Thread-hopper shimmered into the clearing with a limp Victor clenched between his teeth.

posted 07-01-99 06:35 PM ET            

==========================

As Imran lay on the ground looking at the devestation, he knew that only he could stop Yin. Not himself, but he was the only one who knew how to defeat the monster. He searched inside of himself. It had been a long time, but the secrets of NIM were coming back to him. Imran was once the 2nd most powerful user of NIM, and it was once again coming back to him.

In a flash of light, a figure stroad up. The light was blinding. NIM has transformed the old friend of the vets. MikeH spun around, and almost went in his pants. It was Brother Greg.

"Amen Brother Greg," Imran whispered.

Then a portal opened again. Imran had used NIM to the fullest. In an awe inspiring show that put BG in awe (what else), another figure appeared. Wearing an electronic suit and crown, he walked with a kingly step. On the scepter was the initials TAS. Stobie was back.

posted 07-02-99 06:56 AM ET            

"In the beginning there was Sid, Sid looked around him and saw that there was nowhere for his legions of fans to fawn and crawl to his majesty. He looked out upon Hunt Valley and commanded Mike Ely to go forth and create forums and he did and they were good."

The first of the mortals to visit this ethereal dimension were the Mighty Thomas A Stobie and his Towering Australian counterpoint Gregory Woodstock. They were the ends of the Forum spectrum, their long debates became the Fire around the Axis of the forums. Never before had they been teamed up to a common goal like this. It was a terrifying visage.

Thomas began to incant in a strange tongue. In front of the awestruck Newbies and Vets a huge white and grey scroll appeared in the sky.

"The Future of Yin.

A thread to discuss Yin in the future."

Mike had to restrain himself from adding "This issue has been discussed before in a previous thread" There was no time for petty year old vet rivalries now.

Now it was Greg's turn to speak. The gathered masses knew they were in for a masterful piece of prose, an inspiring call to battle. One of the most beautiful pieces of public speaking the world had ever heard.

posted 07-02-99 08:12 AM ET            

"What exactly are you doing Imran?" He asked tiredly, he had gone nearly 20 post cycles without sleeping now and it was starting to catch up with him, in fact it was starting to catch up with all of them.

"I'm just trying to boost the morale of the troops everybody looks so depressed."

"It's no surprise, we just got our butts kicked into the middle of next week by Yin and his forum domination plan is nearly complete." he sighed resignedly. "You are right though Imran we really could use a morale booster. Greg, Thomas can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear mate." Greg's Australian accent filled the chopper.

"Go ahead Greg, we really could use your help out here, we've got some bad wounded here."

"I'll get the sick bay ready for your return, that will be more useful than this morale booster speech anyway, I'll only waffle on for hours."

"Practical as ever Greg, see you anon."

"Gotcha. Greg out."

posted 07-02-99 11:20 AM ET            

Yin's hacienda was a beauty at the peak of the highest mountain. A cloaked marble, a diamond if anyone ever saw its beauty. But Yin's mind was dark.

Yin was tired; tired of all the newbies, sick of all the vet's, all the meaningless fighting - embarressed that he, the forum's coming emperor had actually thought himself so good he could read books in the midst of fighting. Yin's cheeks burned... Those holo-projectors were damn good - he had to give those pesky punks that much.

Sitting in his grand throne he thought of how much he needed some positive thought in this dreaded hour. His plan had failed, despite what the nitwit newbies thought. He sure didn't get the PR job Freddz had thought he deserved. No, everything sucked. Ah yes, positive... What had he eaten last? Yin darkened. He had to fire his chef - Bossman's meatballs was getting on his nerves, the man was obviously overpaid. Too much salt, too much poison. Ah well, no one else wants to work here in the mountains. Yin ransacked his store of sour antidote pills, three days worth left. He had to order new or fire the chef - both alternatives sucked.

Oh yes, Brother Greg had appeared; of course the whole of Old Vet City would be celebrating a few posts forward in this thread. All those idiot vets being happy made his head hurt even more. He pictured them in their clubs, masquerading, all dressed up like women... A prejudiced thought of course. Yin knew they were probably arming themselves to the teeth, or at least having arm-wrestling competitions. Gagh, what if they had found his cloaked castle? Positive thought, just one damn positive thought...

No, all he could think of was how damn frustrating it was to walk across his throne room. Positive... Aghhh... he was getting needy as well and walking half a mile to the toilet was also not something he longed for. he had to do it here - again. He heard the chef's footsteps coming closer. Lunch...

And why did he have to think this much really - the only reason that came to his mind was that the creators of this thread needed some kind of pause to collect their wits and stop fighting so damn much. Yes... He needed some kind of brilliant plan.

"Meatballs?"
"Thanks, Bossman."

Yin lobbed a few meatballs in his mouth. Bossman watched, hoping.

"You can go now, Bossman."

Yin heard him go, didn't care to watch while the silly chef hat would wag with the man's steps. He lobbed a pill in his mouth instead and continued to search for something positive, something good. All these plan's to nothing. And what was Shining up to? He didn't like that brilliant mind - was he really mad, or was he the forum's most brilliant actor. He suspected the latter. Freddz probably worked for him too. Freddz had disappeared from the Newbie camp his reports told him. he didn't work for those pesky, wannabe veteran newbies anyway. He lobbed another meatball into his mouth. Mmmm...

Suddenly Yin stopped chewing, his eyes bulged, his cheeks began to feel swollen as pain seized his entire being.

Yin: "Bossman! They're too salty!"

Yin crawled towards where the pills was. He looked in the stash.

"NOOOO....!" PMS... No... Bossman you bastard!

He should have stopped him from e-mailing with Nell of course. Gagh! That newbie woman... Me dying here, right now, how silly... Well... he still had that pheonix sh*t to pull back to - if it worked. Maybe he had time for a quick mail to Shining... lalala... after all it was only two and a half mile to the nearest palace computer.

"Meatballs, sir?" an evil voice croaked.

Yin's mind was slipping away... thinking on the clouds in the sky... near his palace... Then it dawned on him... how stupid he had been... Bossman... that name - the guy had plan's for himself from the beginning of course... he wasn't even a newbie spy... Blah... blah... One posetive thing finally came to mind... the reports that indicated that the newbies and vets could be going to war again.... the damn thought came too late Yin screamed in his mind... Lord, I mean Mr. Reynolds, I would have liked to enjoy that thought for at least an hour, you bastard... Then Bossman's voice intruded in his mind...

posted 07-02-99 12:54 PM ET            

[fade to flashback]

"Gotcha. Greg out." jsorense thought he heard over the roar of the propeller wash. With that he began the relaxation exercises that his doctor had recommended to relieve the stress of an overworked and underbrained executive.

"God, I wish this flight from hell would end." Sighed jsorense as he slapped another ProSMAC II Patch Now with Vitamin E� on MikeH's sweaty brow. There was no reaction, just an unblinking "10,000 yard" stare.

Red flashing warning lights suddenly stabbed the dark interior of the copter.

"Oh, oh." Said Q Cubed.
"What do you mean, `Oh oh.' What's happening now?" Screamed jsorense.
"jsorense could you please stop screaming. Just a little mechanical trouble is all." Soothed Q Cubed.
"Bummer." Observed Nell.
"I was always there." Babbled a delirious The DG.
"May Day, May Day, IIIS steath choper "Victor's Pride" is going down."said the coolly confident pilot.
"I want my mommy." Whimpered the IIIS' top executive.

The once elegant executive helicopter, now scratched in more than one place, glided to the ground with all the grace of a dumpster fill with empty cheap liquor bottles.

"Crash." said the copter.

After retreaving everyone from the flaming wreck jsorense asked the Q Cubed, "Now what do we do hot shot?"
Just then a mysterious and strangely dressed figured stepped out of the bushes.
"Perhaps I can help." He said as he pulled a Swiss Army knife the size of a toaster out his pocket and proceeded to rebuild the IIIS copter.

posted 07-02-99 12:57 PM ET            

The IIS chopper had lifted off with the wounded, leaving Trippin, Freddz, Venom, The Outrider and his FVT with Victor in his mouth. All waiting for tfs and Aredhran to return with the other chopper.

"Well Trippin', what do you want done with him?"

Trippin' eyed the Outrider dubiously. "Who are you asshole?"

"mih llik s'tel.", Freddz said

Venom went rigid with anticipation as Freddz spoke.

"First I want to roast Victor. Tell your beast to put him down so I can flame him."

Just then a flare ignited in the sky it had all the appearence of a bright smiley face. then there was another, and another, and another.
And as the valiant fighters watched the sky started to fill with bright smiley faces. Then there was a distant squeal that moved frightfull fast through the trees around the clearing.

"Outrider, if this is your doing, I'll ki..."

The Squeal ended as suddenly as it began and then a hollow cracking voice seemed to echo from throughout the trees as if on a hundred cheap speakers.

"You do not belong in this forum! You are not on topic. You must leave the forum now, or I will Smiley you to death!"

As the demented voice was fading Aredhran and tfs came running out of the darkness.

"The other chopper has had its ignition cable cut, it'll take hours to fix and I don't think we have the time." Aredhran announced as he caught his breath.

The sky continued to bloom smiley faces, and again the voice from the trees.
"Newbies, you will die at the hands of OnePaul, Muwhahahaha, Muwhahahahaha..."

"Sh*t, OnePaul, that menance. He's demented enough to do this, and just crazy enough to make it work." tfs was obviously pissed at the mention of this name.

"I suggest we make a retreat before it is too late." said the Outrider, "We seem to have been out maneuvered."

Aredhran looked at the Outrider. "Will your troops give us any trouble when we hit the woods?"

"No, my troops will give you no trouble, but..."

"Don't trust the bugger, he's some freak and this is all his fault." Trippin spat.

"We don't need to take to the woods though," the Outrider continued, "there is an escape portal someplace inside the bunker complex, underground someplace. It uses HTML code to jump directly to a differant thread or forum. If we leave now we should be able to find it in time."

The collected newbies looked at each other. A single bead of sweat dropped from Victor's brow to the ground and the FVT adjusted the pressure of its teeth on his spine.

"The Thread-hopper should be able to lead us right to it."

posted 07-04-99 01:48 AM ET            

... and fell straight down in a crashing heap. Bossman spun around, regarding the newcomer carefully. Yin looked up from where he was wrighing on the floor.

"Frikkin' Korean engineering!" yelled Darkstar. I'm positive these things worked yesterday... OWWW OW OW OW! I've broken my frikkin collarbone! And my knee! And my..."

Darkstar looked accusingly at Yin. "Cheapest bidder again?" he snarled.

"Sorry," replied Yin wryly. "Old habits."

Bossman sat down on the throne. He smiled evily at Darkstar. "The guards will take you away. Once they realise who the real power is here..."

The whirring sound of a throwing axe interrupted him. Bossman moved, just as the tiny weapon scythed by his left ear and embedded itself in the throne. Bossman looked around widly, his expression now shocked. Yin and Darkstar both shrugged as best they could.

"Show yourself!" screamed Bossman, as another axe missed his arm.

The sunlight blurred in the corridor, the false images to reveal the bulky frame of Shining. He smiled a toothy grin at Bossman.

"You? Why?" Bossman exploded into laugher. "You piece of amateur foreign trash! You think you can stop me? No-one even knows where you come from. I'll kill you..."

"I've just been dead for two weeks, Bossman, and dying again would make me REALLY, REALLY mad. Just insane, in fact." He flipped another axe towards Bossman, who ducked to the right. It hit the throne dead centre and stayed imbedded, quivering.

"Really. You kiwis have no idea. I've been planning this far too long to let a minor player like you interfere." Bossman grabbed a sword from the wall as Shining approached. The light weaver unslung a heavy headed battle axe from his back.

"They've very good for breaking swords," he commented. Bossman snarled, throwing the sword away in disgust and grabbing a polearm from a nearby suit of armour.

"Range beats weight. Everybody knows that." He took up a stance, challenging Shining to advance.

"Actually, that's not really true," said Darkstar. "I used to think that, too, though, so I can't blame you, but..."

Bossman threw the poleaxe aside with a roar of anger. His eyes fell upon Yin's workbench in the corner of the room. Circling slowly, he retreated towards it, then pounced at the object resting on it.

"How 'bout a chainsaw!" he yelled, triumphantly pulling the starter cord. "Take this, Shining!"

The chainsaw made a sad sputtering sound and died. Bossman pulled the cord again, to no effect. He looked around widely, as Yin's weak laugher filled the room.

"Also Korean made," he said, coughing. "No one's ever been able to get that to start properly..."

"Sh*t!" said Bossman. He jumped back as Shining advanced, swinging the axe. Against the wall, he scanned the room for options, jumping left and onto the workbench to avoid the next devastating blow.

Shining wrenched the axe out of the wall, taking a couple of attempts to remove the embedded blade from the hardened timbers. He turned, seeing Bossman on the table, and jumped towards him, the axe moving like a blurr.

The sickening sound of steel parting flesh filled the room, as Bossman stepped back from the blow, falling backwards off the table. He jumped to his feet, seeing the severed stump of his left arm for the first time, and screamed in pain and confusion:

"NOOOOOOOO! YOUR'RE NOT MY FATHER! IT'S NOT TRUE! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!"

He ran from the room, tears streaming down his cheeks as he disappeared into the long corridor. Shining jumped down from the table. He slung the axe over his shoulder, and looked at the poisoned emperor and his injured technical staff.

posted 07-04-99 06:19 PM ET            

�There is only one reason I would kill you old man.�
�Really, and what might that be?�

Shining moves closer to Darkstar and makes a move as if to whisper in Darkstars ear.

Darkstar whipped back with the dexterity of a ferret, his cloak flared around him and for a minute Shinings thoughts were directed towards the powerful image of Darkstar. For a fleeting moment he felt the air of cowardice surround him.

Darkstar made a run for the armoury rack choosing a long sword from a distance he sprinted for it. Shining left stunned by his adversaries sudden movement reacted swiftly and lunged for his spare axe hidden in his left shoe.

�This is the end of the road Darkstar!�
�Correction, it is the end of the road for you Shining!�

Darkstar lunged at shining with his sword. He felt the razor tip snag flesh and looked up just in time to see the quick flash and then red. His life flashed before him, why hadn�t he taken up a different game? His Wife his Kids, SMAC, Kids, SMAC, Kids, SMAC, SMAC , SMAC, MOO, Ohhhh... he wished he had devoted more time to his favourite pastimes. �Mummy help me, PLEASE� Darkstar whimpering on the floor expecting sudden death. When it didn�t come he was surprised. He looked up into the eyes of Yin. Beside him on the floor lay the decapitated body of Shining.

�How, Why, With what?�
�When you haven�t got what it takes you must sacrifice life and limb to save your friends.�
�So how d�ya do it� A smile of relief appearing on Darkstars face.
�I injected him with a Korean poison and then lopped off his head with a Korean sword.�

posted 07-04-99 07:14 PM ET            

Yin and Darkstar stood nervously over the shallow grave, the early morning mist flowing around them. The Dark one's black robe were now swarthed in bandages, and he stood supported by a crutch, as the agonizing efforts of his fight last night returning to haunt his body with a vengence. Yin rested heavily on a spade, still coughing slightly from the after effects of the salt. Of Bossman, the former servant at the castle, there had been no sign since his flight the previous afternoon. Yin spoke:

"There. That ought to hold him - for a while, anyway. Bury them at the cross roads with a stake through their heart, that's the trick, eh?"

"I dunno," muttered Darkstar. "This one seemed different. In all my experience with the occult, I've never encountered anything like it."

"Still," said Yin. "I was impressed with the way you moved last night, especially after that fall and everything."

Darkstar groaned slightly, shifting position on his crutch. "Oh, you know. It's only pain," he replied, with the hint of a smile.

Yin raised his eyebrows. "Indeed?" he said, dubiously. Then: "Well, to business, anyway. The Shining one is no longer much concern to me - at the very worst, he can be depended upon to wade in and get himself killed at an inoppotune moment, that's all. And once my scouts have tracked down the renegade Bossman, there will be no-one left to distract me from the main goal."

Darkstar flashed a wicked smile in the weak light. "Yes, lord. The other factions await your return. It must be so."

Together, in silence, they hammered the huge marker post into the ground atop the grave. The Dark one hammered a small, coloured sign onto the heavy wood.

posted 07-06-99 06:29 PM ET            

Bossman: "I have done nothing...! Who are you!?"

A man's voice interrupted. It wasn't a pleasant voice; dark, strangely twisted in emotion...

"Bossman, you... you have information I seek."
"Me? Can't be. I'm a chef... I make s-salty meatballs. You're here for a... a receipt?"
"Don't play games, Bossman. I've been a chef too. I use a big pot, and my speciality was humanballs..."
"Uh, no... Please spare my life... Please..."

Tears streamed down Bossman's cheeks. His face and eyes turned red in fear.

"I will, but only if you tell me the truth..."
"Okay... I will... please"

Bossman wiped some tears from his face.

"So what you want to know?"
"I want to know the whereabouts of my friend Lord Shining. I know he went to your palace. Where did he go after that?"
"Err, Shining... eh you're a friend of his...? Well... the truth is... err he's downunder... um... I mean..."

The shape took a threatening step forward but his voice was curious.

"Australia?"
"Eh, no. He's alive... yes... still at the hacienda. He killed Yin I think. I mean maybe. That's it, maybe. But, but he's healthy, I can tell you that. Alive, not dead and buried. No not that! Please-please, believe me!!! He's still near the damn place! That's true..."

The figure sat silent for a while.

"I believe you..."
"What? You'll spare me?"
"I told you I would."

The figure turned off the projector and turned on the lights. Bossman stared incrediously.

"Freddz? But your voice is all dark? Not squeeky as I've heard...?"
"Male hormons..."

Bossman looked at the projector... blinked... A holo projector? What could this mean? He was beginning to understand... He looked down at his arm.

"No... please no... tell me it's there...? NOOOOO! My aaarrrm!! Bastard!"

He started reaching for the stump with his other arm, deep inside wanting to deny it was untrue, but just couldn't reach it. A bad dream Bossman thought. A bad dream... Some real terrifying thoughts were coming to mind. Bossman looked at his other arm and screamed.

"Please, tell me it isn't so!!!! Please!!"
"I chopped 'em all off. Arms, legs..."

Bossman could only cry, shaking in sadness.

"Time to die, Boss...? "

Freddz shoved the bed Bossman's stumpy body through the window.

As Bossman flew down from the 26th floor, knowing death would be flat and hard, he spotted a pool below him. Yeah... Hope even in the darkest seconds, he thought, and grinned in delight.

posted 07-06-99 07:54 PM ET            

As they approached a appeared right in front of the opening. Following the plan Freddz released Venom who flew like a burning maelstrom into the ripping it to pieces. But the pieces quickly refigured themselves into hundreds of tiny 's. they converged as one on to Venom.

The others were able to make the safety of the bunker. Following the seventh sense of the FVT the warriors ran for their lives as scores of pursued them down the hallways.

There would be no going back.

Trippin' turned with his flamer and unleashed the most vile and horrendous torrent of flames the forums had ever seen. But each emerged from the holocaust as a and marched on.

"Trip, com' on! You can't stop them." tfs yelled as he blew a large poison bubble and lofted it towards the sinister 's.

Trip was yelling "you suck, Firaxis sucks, you M*****-F*****' C***-S******." His voice never waivered as he was engulfed by a hoard of 's.

Aredhran and his followers ran on.

After intermitable twists and turns they came to a small room. There were a few old Pentium 90 computers and a manual for UBB 1.1 on a table. There was a poster of the Chesapeake Bay and a half eaten blue crab lying in a corner.

Written in large block letters on one wall was "may the Farce be with you."

The Outrider was the first to notice the electronic device on the table. It looked like a large remote control with two prongs sticking out of the top end.

"This is the Moderator for the Thread and Forum Portal. If we code this correctly we should be able to jump or slide to another thread and be safe."

Aredhran, the Swiss grabbed the device from him and in a blaze of hand movements had disassembled the device studying each piece and then reassembled it. " I know how this works now."
He tossed it to tfs, "program in the code for tracking the migratory movements of swallows on a 29 day Celtic Lunar Calendar."

As tfs did this the others proceeded to reset all the screen savers on the old pentiums.

As tfs shouted "finished". A shimmering semi-oval fluxing portal opened in mid air right where the FVT had been moments before.

"OK Outrider, you first, tfs you're next. Freddz..."

"Howdy gang. miss me?" Trippin' strode into the room drippin' Smilie gore from all is limbs and the now clogged barrels of his flamer.

"God Trippin', your alive."

"Yes, but I am no God."

"Quick into the portal after Freddz.", Aredhran ordered.

As Trippin' leapt into the portal his body seemed to hang there. Aredhran seeing the horde of coming into the room did not have time to ponder this. And thus he leapt, passing through Trippin's body.

As the Portal collapsed Trippin's body fell to the floor, and the approached.

The Outrider, tfs, Freddz, and Aredhran all emerged in a large Pink room, where they could here lots of chattering voices all around them. Most of the voices were light and airy. "I just got the new Malibu set, and I think she looks terrific." Other voices were deeper and sinister, "I have all of Skipper's outfits, why don't we get together at the park and you can play with my little doll..."

As the four look around, their eyes widened in surprise.

posted 07-06-99 08:31 PM ET            

"Yeah, we are going to win now!"

posted 07-08-99 02:58 AM ET            

He looked down at his body. Except for his missing forearm, his limbs were all still there. The light in his hospital room was shining brightly above him. There were no strange, er... strangers in the room. And no shadows from which they might suddenly appear.

Bossman sighed weakly, relief creeping back into him slowly after his sleeping ordeal. He grinned sheepishly as it occured to him how ludirous the whole dream had been. Freddz and Shining? Ha! It was Freddz who had originally sent that deranged lunatic foreigner to meet his maker... or hang on, maybe it had actually been Trip? He couldn't remember properly. The pain killers must be affecting his mind. Anyway, there was most definitely some bad blood between them.

He scanned the pile of catelogs beside him. Many of them offered nice options in the way of unusual prothetics. Unusual *military* prothetics. He couldn't decide between them, really. The machine gun looked nice, except for the uncomfortable way the clip stood out under the forearm. And there was the choice of a sword, or a heavy ball and chain type contraption, some kind of laccross style grenade thrower, and a rotating axe mechanism.

No. Not an axe. Definitely not an axe.

Bossman shuddered slightly, and looked over to the coffee table on the other side of his bed. It seemed the paper had arrived early this morning. He reached out with his good arm and grabbed it, scanning the headlines. The usual stuff. Reports of Newbie Terrorists launching attacks on innocent forums and stories about people who claimed that horoscopes, tarot cards, and premonitions could all tell the future, alongside adds for military propoganda about the heroics of old legends. It would never happen today, mused Bossman, not with all this, this - this Reality flying around. Time was, you could relax and say anything you wanted to about a game, how great it would be, how much you were looking forward to it, how great the design team was. Not now. These days, you just had to accept that things weren't always what they were...

He dropped the paper and shook his head furiously as the train of thought came to a halt. Wow. The drugs must REALLY be affecting his brain. Better ask the nurse to lay off on the injections for a bit.