posted 06-20-99 02:22 PM ET         

I almost peed on myself. You are so creative and funny.

Tell me a joke about airline food. Better yet mattress tags.

posted 06-20-99 09:11 PM ET         

Jimmy,
My wife's name is Miriam so she will never know.

posted 06-20-99 11:48 PM ET            

"You follow everything you say with: <Your Name>, Datalinks."

May the owner of this I.P. claim it.

posted 06-21-99 09:55 AM ET            

Axeman
posted 03-16-99 03:43 PM ET

In no particular order:
10. You terraform your backyard to increase nutrient output.
9. You know more about the singularity of a black hole than Steven Hawking.
8. You build a quantum chamber using the game manual and some household items.
7. You follow everything you say with "(Your name), Datalinks.
6. You have nightmares about the Citizen's Defense Force cinematic (the one with the
mindworms).
5. Instead of saving money, you "stockpile energy" by turning off lights after you leave
a room.
4. You convert your freezer into a cryogenic chamber; you plan to set out for Planet
after you finish construction your fusion spacecraft.
3. You're planning to invent the longevity vaccine so you can have more time to play
SMAC.
2. You "monopolize the household energy market" by diverting all the electrical outlet
energy to your room and charge people 50 energy credits for each minute of use.
1. You pay off your friends to elect you "supreme leader" of your "faction."
Any more suggestions?
sandworm
posted 03-16-99 03:47 PM ET

You construct a perimeter defense to keep the neighbor's dog from "messing" in your
yard.

You refer to the toilet the "recycling tank"

Your fiance asks if she is going to be a
"SMAC widow" (Could we play King's quest now, PLEASE... Hmm? Okay just ONE MORE
TURN, honey)
HMFIC
posted 03-16-99 03:55 PM ET

You dont give your kids 'time-out' any more,
rather you send them to the Punishment Sphere.
Wen_Amon
posted 03-17-99 04:08 AM ET

lol. These are pretty good!

You construct an Echelon Mirror out of old, broken solar calculators.
Resource
Consumer
posted 03-17-99 09:39 AM ET

While playing SMAC, send the wife out for nutrients in the supply crawler.
Giant Squid
posted 03-17-99 10:24 AM ET

You begin writing your forum name and password on any document asking NAME:
(This has actually happened to me)

Instead of turning the heat up, you build a thermal borehole to raise temperature.

You begin to wonder why Lal's never intervened in Bosnia.

You begin searching for mind worm boils in your backyard so you can get Planetpearls.

<-:-)-K
Giant Squid
"Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind. Have you drunk your fill?"
Mnich
posted 03-17-99 10:59 AM ET

1. You refer to a frat party as "drone riots"

2. Your promise kids to build a singularity planet buster for the 4th of July.

3. You suddenly stop in the middle of trafic thinking you just heard the PlanetVoice.

4. You actualy start writing "How to raise a nerve-stapled child."

5. When people mention cutpaper-animation hit you think they talk about the scene
from the Longevity SP.

6. You approach your boss with voice converter and exclaim with digital overtones,
"Project complete."

7. You attempt to mind-control your pet.

8. You notice an earthworm and shout "Use your flameguns!" to the nearby
pedestrians.

9a)Your wife uses pop-ups to remind you of important things, such as eating.

9b) You scorn at her attempts claiming you are about to reach transcendence
anyway.

10. You refer to your work associates as "GeneJacks."

11. You rewire your company building to obtain enough energy credits to complete the
Project before any other faction.

12. You are very cautious near religious fanatics because of their +25% belief bonus.

13. At a corporate meeting you suggest to elect Mr. Yang for a chairman to get the
efficiency bonus.

14. You suggest to your boss to send a Probe Team to the rival's company building.

15. You reprimend people at work for refering their computers in any other way than
"Network Node."

16. You tell your landlord you can't pay the rent because of heavy clouds and mist
over your solar collectors.

17. You scout the countryside for monoliths and Unity pods.

18. You go to your bank with bags full of batteries and ask the clerk if they accept
change.

19. You assign significan part of your budget to your misbehaving kids expecting
"Golden Age."

20. You spend significant amount of time trying to come up with an addition to this
topic.

Heh, I hope at least some are enjoyable. Couldn't help myself.
micje
posted 03-17-99 12:05 PM ET

You're trying to run over stray dogs with your car, hoping that it will become elite for
the extra movement point.

When there are elections, you vote for the faction that goes for the Weather
Paradigm.

When you go on vacation, you put hypnotic trance on your caravan.
gotag
posted 03-17-99 12:50 PM ET

There is sunspot activity, and you get lonely, because there is no one to talk to.
Dredd
posted 03-17-99 01:09 PM ET

You say to your supervisor "Vendetta upon you!" when receiving a new project at
work.
HMFIC
posted 03-17-99 01:21 PM ET

You spend all your work time lurking in the SMAC forums!
Luke
posted 03-17-99 01:56 PM ET

You replace the hood ornament on you '89 Buick Le Sabre with a Chaos Gun.

Unlike environmentally concerned citizens worldwide, you're all for melting the polar ice
caps.

Before you head for the bathroom, you announce, "Boy, I've got to go cause some
eco-damage!"

You snicker as you drive by the local church, knowing that the poor fools inside must
be years behind you in technology by now.

You've written Playboy, requesting that they pursue a photo shoot with Deidre.

You're arrested for spraying local business' walls with Spartan barracks graffiti.
Matt Fox
posted 03-17-99 02:23 PM ET

Ammendment to Mnich's #6:

When you complete a job at work, you say "ProjectProject Completeplete"
Rong
posted 03-17-99 03:17 PM ET

You look out the window, wondering where the second sun is.
December Man
posted 03-17-99 04:14 PM ET

You begin to lift up 'man hole covers' in the hope that they contain new tech
advances or hope that it won't induce a fungus bloom.
jsorense
posted 03-17-99 04:37 PM ET

Manhole covers?

I've been dumpster diving myself. Talk about blooms? Eeeeeuuuuuuuuu! :-(
Rong
posted 03-17-99 05:57 PM ET

You read the forum thinking you'd definitely PB those clueless newbies when the
sunspot activity picks up.
DerekM
posted 03-17-99 06:04 PM ET

When somebody steals your parking space, you tell them that they have violated your
territory, and threaten vendetta unless they leave.

You disassemble your car so that you can choose different components every time
you go somewhere.

You move next to a farm in order to increase your wife's chances of getting pregnant.

When that doesn't work, you start siphoning energy from your neighbors to try and
start a "golden age."

You put a sign on your house that says "University Base."
MrSmily
posted 03-17-99 08:36 PM ET

Walk to your neighbors and show off your new "toy" and tell them to shut-up at 4
A.M. or you will nerve staple thier nose hairs.

When you see a construction site you think of terraforming (happend to me!).

Highways become Magtubes to you.

Refer (sp?) to the internet as "datalinks".

Try and make your own game named "Omega Centauri" only to realize it will suck
compared to SMAC.
MrSmily
posted 03-17-99 08:54 PM ET

When you have a kid you change the population number on your house from 2 to 3.

Shopping carts at Kroger are now supply crawlers.

You hear the word children and think of the base facalty and not your own kids.

If you see someone litter you pronounce vendetta and start mumbleing about Morgan
Industrys.

You try and launch your own satalites to get more food.

When you order pizza you ask the delivery boy a series of questions to see if hes in
fact part of a Beliver probe team.

You hear the Gilligans Island theme and think of the creative song written in the
forums before the crash.

Afraid of demon-boil squirrels, you try and be eco-freindly.
MoSe
posted 03-19-99 11:57 AM ET

Mnich 20.
HMFIC
really happen

gotag (btw, 'go, tag!' or "got a 'G'"?)
DerekM 2nd
my favotites

You spot a spider, moth or fly, and you think
"Indigenous lifeforms"

You try to classify weather forecasts into Cloud Coverage: sparse, average,
abundant.

Real conversation:
- What's the magazine you're reading?
- Alpha Centauri
- ???
- Er... I mean, National Geographic!

you wonder 'Alpha' Centauri shouldn't get 'beta' tested

you talk with your cousin woking for Physics PhD at Stanford, and you tell him:
'So, how's the SuperCollider doing?'

Breakfast: wondering if you'd pour the second orange juice mug "Have I drunk my fill?"

urgent need ...mmm, Pi$$Keeper
MoSe
posted 03-19-99 12:13 PM ET

when I disagree with my (friendly) boss, I tell him:
"I must dissent"
"beg your pardon? I couldn'get your last Blah!"

forgot how do you call the car plaques/labels with identification code (letters and/or
digits)
we now have here a
AA 999 AA
pattern and got recently by the initial B
I score a point for each ABxxxRD, half point for ACxxxSM (long time before SMxxxAC,
10 points). Next big shot will be BLxxxAH, coming soon.

DerekM
posted 03-19-99 01:40 PM ET

Here are a few more...

You start lobbying your government to start work on "submersable carriers."

Every time you see Bill Gates, you do a double-take because he is causcasian.

You confuse your son's Transformers video with his Construction Machines video,
mumbling, "but THESE look more like Trance Formers..."

You annoy your fiancee by repeatedly stating, "but even 500 would be pretty nice!"
This actually happened.
Magnanimous
posted 03-19-99 01:44 PM ET

You know you're addicted to SMAC when..

You're actually happy when your wife says "sorry hon, I have a headache," because
you'd rather probe Deidre anyway.

You're on your 9th beer, it's late, the lights are dim, and you start thinking that maybe
Miriam ain't that bad looking after all.

You're a teacher and you spend your non-playing SMAC time trying to figure out how
to incorporate SMAC into your lesson plans.
Rong
posted 03-19-99 01:55 PM ET

You call your Jeep scout rover and wish you have a gravship instead.
Imran Siddiqui
posted 03-19-99 03:34 PM ET

10) You've been on these forums since October
9) You've been on these forums since September
8) You've been on these forums since August
7) You've been on these forums since July
6) You've been on these forums since June
5) You've been on these forums since May
4) You've been on these forums since March
3) You've been on these forums since April (HA HA)
2) You've been on these forums since February
1) You've been on these forums since Brother Greg was here .

Imran Siddiqui
OhWell
posted 03-22-99 07:23 AM ET

- You take your rover (..er car) in for service and insist on an upgrade to a fusion
reactor.
- You are jealous of people who have green cars 'cause they have Silksteel Armor and
your red car only has Plasma Steel.
- You refer to your back yard fence as the Perimeter Defense.
- You try to build a Pressure Dome over your house when it rains.
- You refer to the local park as the Recreation Commons.
- You call your riding mower a Former.
- You plan a trip to the Washington Monument hoping for a Morale upgrade.
- You are disappointed when you get to the Washington Monument and find that "this
Monolith is Silent".
- You refer to a deposit in your bank account as Stockpiling Energy.
- You try to order a Gravship at you local car dealer.

L8r
The Panther
posted 03-22-99 10:06 AM ET

when you are eating spaghetti. You forget what you are doing, and start yelling:
"MINDWORM MINDWORM"

You watch a movie about archeollogy, and wonders what on earth that Thermal
Borehole should be good for in the middle of nowhere.

stands in the middle of a Highway, and wonders why the mag tubes doesn't work.

You try to pet up your spaghetti, so that it eventually might become Demon Boil once.
EnBee
posted 03-22-99 03:11 PM ET

You do permanent damage to your bladder by forgetting to pee (how many of you
have finished a game only to find an excruciating pain in you bladder that was
unnoticed while playing ...confess up now.)

You start a game at night and then become bewildered at why the room is so bright all
of a sudden (is it sunlight??)

Both true stories, no attention-deficit here.
Luke
posted 03-22-99 05:13 PM ET

You have nothing funny to add, but you reply to this post anyway.
eNo
posted 03-22-99 05:31 PM ET

You avoid KFC because you're afraid the food is cloned.
LadyVanessa
posted 03-22-99 07:22 PM ET

You get in a fight with your boyfriend and declare "Vendetta" on him.

Your laptop hard drive is full... of nothing but saved games.

You attempt to grow moind worm DNA in your refrigerator.
duncanthemad
posted 03-23-99 04:35 AM ET

When asked why you're building an extension to your house you reply, "maximum
population reached"

When you're mad at someone and you tell them to, "go play in the Xenofungus"
Aredhran
posted 03-23-99 05:43 AM ET

It's 4.30 am, you're dead tired and have been lying in your bed for a few minutes. You
have just reached Transcendence, and decided that you didn't have enough time to
start a new game so you though you'd get a couple hours sleep before going to work.
Unfortunately, the neighbor's dog is barking like hell, depriving you of your
well-deserved and needed sleep, and all you can think about is "Nerve Staple the God
Damned Bastard" (True story, btw)

-Aredhran
Barbarian
posted 03-23-99 05:54 AM ET

Your bargaining position when shopping for a house is: "$200,000 for that wretched
hive?"

You are certain that if you could get that fire hydrant into your house and hook it up
to your computer you'd get a free tech.
tOFfGI
posted 03-23-99 06:50 AM ET

This is something that happened to me in real life. I was walking down to get some
food after a long session of SMAC. I was very tired, and started to see lines before my
eyes. I instantly identified them as "magtubes" without thinking about it.
Giant Squid
posted 03-23-99 10:22 AM ET

You stomp on bugs to get Planetpearls

Whenever you see a mushroom outside your house, you feel you need to reduce
Eco-Damage

You hear about global warming and write to your representative asking for a pressure
dome over your city.

Giant Squid
<=O=E
"Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind. Have you drunk your fill?"
Wen_Amon
posted 03-23-99 04:44 PM ET

lol... I cant stop thinking of giant squid filling out his application for work!
Wen_Amon
posted 03-23-99 04:44 PM ET

lol... I cant stop thinking of giant squid filling out his application for work!
Alpha Texana
posted 03-27-99 12:59 AM ET

1) You move your family to the west coast because it is easier to grow nutrients
there.
2) You tell your children "go to your creche and go to bed."
cousLee
posted 03-27-99 03:00 AM ET

you check the toy section for Recon Rover Rick action figures.

you never eat Spaghetti anymore

when your stuck in traffic, you imagine yourself as part of a great Rover Run.

you call the auto parts store a design workshop.

you call you wife Deidre while making woopie (no, I didn't)
4Horses
posted 03-27-99 10:08 AM ET

- You try to bargain with the bank by telling them if they'll give you $500 you'll pay
them back $6/year for the next 100 years.

- You inform your wife that you now know the names of your first 7 children.

- You don't read the directions when putting together your new computer desk....you
"Consult Datalinks" instead.

- You refer to sex as "Orbital Insertion"

- You buy a frame for your Technology Tree poster
cousLee
posted 03-28-99 10:23 AM ET

When your making a post, and you bring up the game screen to verify some info, and
forget your connected to the internet, you might be addicted.
cousLee
posted 03-28-99 07:41 PM ET

you buy a bunch of small pools to put in your backyard so you can have you own
borehole cluster.
MikeH II
posted 03-29-99 05:15 AM ET

When you meet someone from the States, who you 'met' on the SMAC forums, for a
drink in London and end up talking about all the other forum posters as if they are
mutual friends and recounting stories about stuff that happened on the forums. You
really have to try hard not to call them their posting name.

True story.
MoSe
posted 03-29-99 05:42 AM ET

What do you mean?
I BOUGHT a frame for my TechTree poster!!!
I'm designing and printing a personal one (A2 paper, maybe fits in A3) for everyday
use, w/out all those spaghetti arrows.

Whoops, I forgot this open for awhile...!!!
JRennison
posted 03-29-99 11:39 AM ET

Great forum Axeman!

1) The letters 'r', 'l', and 'h' have had the transfers warn away on your keyboard.

2) You never finish the Gaians off because the idea of Deirdre in a Punishment Sphere
is too traumatic.

3) You've got a pair of sun glasses like Academician Prokharov...
And you wear them while playing as UofP.

4) You've started talking in an accent similar to the leader of your chosen faction.

5) Your dog, Scout Rover, has learnt to switch off the power to your computer when
it wants to be fed.

6) You've compiled copy of 'We must dissent' from the voice overs...
And can recite it verbatim.

7) You play a few 'warm-up games' at talent level before trying to break your record
1000% at Ironman Transcend level.

8) You have a save file of the map of planet where you terraformed your name into a
mountain range and then melted the ice caps until it was only thing still above sea
level...
And you used your forum name so everyone would know who you are.

9) Your login password at work is De1rdre...(Okay, how many of you have just
changed your password?)

10) You stay behind fifteen minutes after everyone else has left the office compiling
this list..!
cousLee
posted 03-29-99 11:51 AM ET

your dog Scout Rover!!??!! ROFLMAO.
cousLee
posted 03-29-99 11:56 AM ET

Your game CD has become so thin from use that it only has one side.
JT2
posted 03-29-99 12:17 PM ET

-While mowing the lawn you find your dog's chew toy and hook it to your computer to
try to get a free tech

-You're afraid to carry grafiti because you think the lasers from the Self-Aware Colony
will disintgrate you

-You refer to your umbrella as The Weather Paradgim

-You're afraid to go to church because of the Believers' 25% attack bonus

-You romp naked among the trees hoping to meet Dierdre
Vorrin Nal
posted 03-29-99 03:15 PM ET

When you leave for the day, you try to upgrade your dogs to police units.

You wonder, sitting behind a SUV in traffic, if any combination of special abilities in
SMAC will create a Land Rover.

You read about the Cold War and think "If the USSR had downloaded 3.0, they'd have
had no effeciency penalties..."

You call the local National Guard station the Bioenhancement Center.

You start to research the history of the United States Marine Corps after taking all of
Yangs' coastal and sea bases in a single turn.
Axeman
posted 03-29-99 08:36 PM ET

Hey its me again.
Just stopped by to thank everyone for posting on my msg board; thanks for all your
support, and keep 'em coming!

Oh yeah btw never set your new topic to "e-mail when someone responds", i learned
that when i open my mailbox and found 27 new messages all from
[email protected]

Talon
posted 03-30-99 07:42 PM ET

10.You remember the old forums
9.You remember the new test forums
8.You join a organization protecting the democracy of the forums and hailing Sid Meier
as their God.
7.You obtain a military position in the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
6.You have subordinates in your military position in the organization protecting the
democracy of the forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
5.Imran Siddiqui is the President of the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
4.You ratified a constitution for the organization protecting the democracy of the
forums and hailing Sid Meier as their God.
3.You avoid all other forums exept for the Non-Topic forum
2.You know YYYH personally
1.You reload over and over to see if anyone has replied to your post

-Talon

cousLee
posted 03-30-99 11:02 PM ET

1> YOU start stuttering.

2> You have a seperate folder on your HD called Bugsaves.

3> You blame problems on someone's system, when it is obviously a game problem.

4> You finally admit that you are never wrong.

5> When you turn your body, you use a stop and go motion doing it.

6> You use a solid blue wallpaper on your desktop, because that is what your use to.

7> Your favorite quote is: 'Damnit, not again!?!"

8> You buy Activision stock.

9> Your doctor gives you medicine to treat masochism.

10> You think the boogyYin is hiding in your closet.
CarniveaN
posted 03-31-99 02:32 AM ET

someone is obviously unsatisfied

Carnivean
--BTW I have the same problems, I run SMAC on my 486-66
MikeH II
posted 03-31-99 05:23 AM ET

Talon: You know YYYH personally? I'm so sorry.

1. You wonder if Santiago would like to inspect YOUR Artillery :p

2. You hook up a nutriant drip by the side of your PC to try and prevent fainting due
to lack of food.

3. You wonder why students don't have white flags on their back.
MikeH II
posted 03-31-99 05:24 AM ET

4. You can't spell anymore. Whoops.
Finngall
posted 03-31-99 03:35 PM ET

you're having a running dialogue with the computer.

CPU: "Perhaps a careful review of your op--"

Me: [hitting return, annoyed] Thank you, Mr. Data.
Koshko
posted 03-31-99 11:25 PM ET

You can quote word for word everything that is said for each advancement

To Voices in your head are starting to talk like Morgan

You refer to the Washington Monument as the Monolith
Giant Squid
posted 04-01-99 12:59 AM ET

1) You refer to your religious leader (priest, minister, rabbi, etc.) as Sister.
2) You do number one, despite the fact that your religious leader is male.
3) If he complains, you yell "Shrivel and die, you Religious Lunatic!"

<=O=E
DJ
posted 04-01-99 09:40 AM ET

I was walking outside the other night when I saw a bright star. My immediate reaction
was to think, "I've been there ..."
Jay
posted 04-01-99 05:15 PM ET

Talon do we have a constitution? I thought it was Green Army not BoS...

Anyhow, you know you'll have to go to school early tomorrow, and you just keep
hitting reload in the SMAC forums.
Imran Siddiqui
posted 04-01-99 08:50 PM ET

Yes, Jay! I'm suprised at you! I wrote the Constitution myself (of course I've forgotten
all about it ).

Imran Siddiqui
cousLee
posted 04-02-99 02:51 AM ET

You rupture your bladder playing SMAC, AND make a post to the forums while waiting
for the ambulance to arrive.
MoSe
posted 04-02-99 03:17 AM ET

You edit your Software Engineering textbook, substituting SW lifecycle with MW
lifecycle.
ViVicdi
posted 04-02-99 04:01 AM ET

You start quoting quotes quoted in SMAC in everyday conversations:

"Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators
the creator seeks ..." -- Friedrich Nietzsche

You put Friedrich Nietzsche on your reading list and Baraka on your must-see list.

You keep the game running in the background to have the Datalinks available for
reference to insure accurate forum posts.

You start referring to weeds as Xenofungus, and weeding as "clearing fungus".

You replace your Gregorian calendar's "A.D." with SMAC's "M.Y.", as in "the Y2k bug
might shut down a few Network Nodes during M.Y. 2000".

You think by building an Echelon Mirror in Ireland, moving to Scotland, and building a
Solar Collector you can strike it rich before M.Y. 2250.

You see an offshore oil rig and think, "6 energy credits!"

You see a News Helicopter and think, "1-1-12 Police / Clean Probe Copter".

You see a Police Car and think, "1-1-2 Police / Clean Scout Rover".

You see a surveillance camera and think, "We Must Dissent! *** ZAP ***"

You build Special Projects just to watch those cool movies. Then you run "PlayUV" to
watch them all again. Finally you hyperlink the "movies" directory so you can watch
them some more later!

You see a politician from another country and wonder what his country's SE settings
are.

You see a politician from your country and wonder what SE settings he would like
there to be ...
Mortis
posted 04-02-99 08:14 AM ET

You walk into your local bookstore and ask for a copy of "The Ethics of Greed".

When you say a quote from SMAC you credit it to the faction leader who said it.

You where mentioned in the story.

You stay up to 4am, posting on the SMAC forums (true story).
sandworm
posted 04-02-99 03:54 PM ET

You start reading the suggested science fiction from the back of the manual. Manual?
There's a manual? We don't need no stinking manual.

"I would like to have is Raquel Welsch (sp?) dropped on my head. She's got a big
bottom."

sandworm
tfs99
posted 04-02-99 09:50 PM ET

- If someone has to stop playing your multiplayer game, you say out loud, "Please
don't go ... the drones need you ... they look up to you"

- When your roommate is hogging the bathroom or phone you contemplate turning off
simultaneous moves and setting time limits to 15 seconds

- When a car cuts you off in traffic you think to yourself: "Stupid AI"

- You start referring to anyone who disagrees with you as "Yin"

- You start humming that catchy "Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum ... dum dum dum
dum dum ... wah wah waaaaah" music from the multiplayer hosting screen.

- You get a bunch of mossy rocks, paint them red and put them in your front yard,
hoping it will at least give you a random chance of keeping the neighbors dog from
doing its business there

- You look forward to bribing your neighbors to vote for you in the next Council
election

- You tell your boss that the new Recreation Commons are nice, but unless they
budget minerals for The Virtual World, people are going to quit and go work for Morgan
Industries

- You call up Swingline and ask if they sell Nerve Staplers

- You start looking for your favorite faction leader's books on Amazon.com

- You send birthday cards and gifts to faction leaders that were born before the year
2000 just so you can improve your chances of favorable diplomatic relations once you
get to A.C.

- You start thinking that if you go to Kosovo and become a mercenary, you might get
named to be on the security force of the Unity project

- You find yourself suffering from the JOMP syndrome (Just One More Post)

- You find yourself compulsively clicking on the little forum sunglasses so you can
snicker at "how few posts that loser has"

- When life gets rough you start contemplating starting over again on Citizen difficulty

- You find yourself suffering from the JOMTTL syndrome (Just One More Top Ten Line)

- You sign your posts with some cute little saying about the game

SMAC n ... Ted S.
Kusader
posted 04-03-99 12:49 AM ET

How about, you threaten your friends by saying, "I will terminate you as a matter of
good business practice!"

This has become a regular saying of mine now... =)
Mortis
posted 04-03-99 04:40 AM ET

You use prahses like "Sorry, no cheque no tech!" in everyday conversation.
Terbo
posted 04-04-99 12:18 AM ET

hehehe...

When your kids are bad, you hit them with a stapler svreaming "If you kids act up
agian, I'll nerve-staple you in 10 more turns!"

(You then go to jail for child abuse)
Mortis
posted 04-04-99 08:10 AM ET

Nahh, you just get UN sanctions imposed on you.
BlueBlazer
posted 04-04-99 11:14 PM ET

You have gotten a suntan from all the computer radiation

You have the tech chart memorized

You are trying to drill to the aquifer in your backyard so you can get more water

YOu call your TV a Hologram Theatre

You start playing Friday Night and finish just in time for school monday
Koshko
posted 04-04-99 11:52 PM ET

The binding that holds the pages of the manual are wearing out.

New TV Show "Where in the Planet is Col. Santiago"

You notice that the Believer symbol looks like Kenny from South Park.
Koshko
posted 04-05-99 12:02 AM ET

Couple more

The members of Firaxis has to issue a restraining order on you.

When steping outside, you get scared by the bright warm yellow ball in the sky.
Zeratul
posted 04-05-99 01:53 PM ET

-You tell the new neighbors that it is customary of smaller, weaker factions to pay a
small protection "fee".

-You miss your wedding because of JOMT (just one more turn) sydrome.

-You keep starting new games with the UoP just to hear Zhakarov say his name. (i do)
4Horses
posted 04-05-99 03:55 PM ET

- you start submitting words with the word "SMAC" in daily conversations

- you actually think "SMAC" is a word

- after reading the previous 76 posts, you still have something to contribute
4Horses
posted 04-05-99 03:58 PM ET

- you spend a lot of time replying to a thread, submit your reply, and get the "you
entered the wrong password" screen. You curse to yourself, throw the nearest object
at the wall, and proceed to enter the information all over again.......thinking "next time
i'll EDIT, COPY before I submit, just in case."
Koshko
posted 04-05-99 08:57 PM ET

You continue to supply posts even though the premise has worn thin.

You see a Ford Probe drive by, and you assume they're going to break into your home
and steal stuff.

You stop taking baths in order to recreate Xenofungus growth.

Kinda large, isn't it?

posted 06-21-99 11:45 AM ET            

You only eat apples, and even when doing so call them 'nutrients.'

You whistle Network Node song in public.

You wonder why YOUR television doesn't show Morgan doing aerobic.

You now pronounce 'complete' as 'conclete'

You have used WinAmp to make some quotes of your own.

posted 07-07-99 07:04 PM ET            

you swear to never build the hunter seeker algorithm (after all you wouldn't want your "probe" team to be a thing of the past)

you try to nerve staple your teenage kid for rebelling/"rioting"

posted 07-07-99 07:16 PM ET            

I went into our local stationers and asked for Nerve Staples. They suggested that I tried at the Post Office.....

So, between tears of laughter, I even paid my phone bill.

No NSs though........

posted 07-07-99 09:43 PM ET            

As a teacher, your opening day speech to your physics class consists of: "Zee substructure of zee universe reegresses eenfinitely tovards smoller and smoller components. Behind atoms ve find electrons,
and behind electrons cvuarks. Each layer unraveled reeveals new seecrets, but also new meesteries." (the misspellsing is intentional, duh)

When you arguing about the US's stance in the wars between various other countries, you mention something about singularity needlejets, drop probe teams, and planet busters, citing "that'll teach that religious bitch".

Instead of celebrating your 18th birthday you announce: "I have achieved Mature Boil Status!!"

While arguing with friends or coleagues you find yourself saying: "Oh yeah? Well Morgan says that (insert something here)"

You call up Bill Clinton and say: "President Clinton, your so called 'Democracy' is godless and wretched. True freedom and happiness are only to be found in God's love, and I urge you to repent your sins and open your heart to the Lord."
Then, no matter what his response is you say: "Very well then, Vendetta Upon You, President Clinton!"

Ok, thats it for now, I'm busy, be back with more later.

posted 07-08-99 11:52 AM ET            

"I am not your personal moneylender"

Or

posted 07-10-99 01:10 AM ET            

You spend 50K on plastic surgery to make you look like Deirdre......and you're male.

As a teacher, you split off 5 students from your class, telling them that they're talents and should paint their faces white, grow tentacles, and wear robes.

You buy a Tyco offroad remote controlled pickup, and make it run over earthworms, shouting "Take that Planet!"

You develop a SEVERE hatred of all redheaded women.

During conversations with other people, you involuntarily say "OK" after they say each sentence.