posted 04-29-99 04:06 AM ET        

Maybe a week.

Is he alive? He looks horrid. His face is gone.

Yeah, he's alive. We've got him hooked up to an anal feeder tube.

God! That must taste horrible! Can I talk to him?

Well...let's give him a smack to wake him up.

My God! His eyes just lit up!

This is odd, he's been brain dead for days.

It must have been something you said, Doctor.

All I said was let's give him a smack...

There! He's really movin' now!

Yin, what am I saying that's making you react? "Let's"?

Nothing, doctor.

"Give"?

Nope, he's not reacting.

"Him"?

Still nothing.

"A"?

We're losing him!

"Smack"?

Dear Lord, his vitals are off the chart!

"Smack," Yin, is that it? Smack, smack, smack.

Stop it, Doctor, you're overstimulating him, the poor gimp.

He wants to talk...what's he saying?

Let's listen...it sounds like...

What? What!?

It doesn't make any sense. It sounds like he said:

posted 04-29-99 05:08 AM ET            

Aredhran

posted 04-29-99 09:04 AM ET         

Well, is it true?

Yes, your Excellency we have verified that Yin26 is alive.

I see. . .mmmmm. . .and the body in the grave?

A cow, your Excellency.

The body in the grave was a cow? That is even more diabolical than I could imagine. Yin26 will pay for that. . .

Sir, shall I call the assassin?

posted 04-29-99 10:43 AM ET         

"Are we all here? Good... I have just received word that Yin26 is still alive!"

<collective gasp>

"Yes. It seems that our original attempts to rid us of this menace have failed"

"What about the subliminal message in the Contraception Wonder movie?"

"Apparently, he hasn't played the game enough to see it."

"And what happened to the Stealth bomber sent to blast him out of existance?"

"It crashed into a hill... apparently he was fortified, or something like that.."

"Damn... he's good. What shall we do now?"

"Well, we can wait this out and hope his 'Consumer Action' fades away..."

"No. I've got a better idea..."

The group huddles together amidst much whispering....

posted 04-29-99 12:15 PM ET            

*Darkstar looks at the urgent message, and smiles darkly.*

It appears that Yin26's mind transplant failed, and they had to return his mind to his old body. I hope they connected everything correctly this time. Humm... This could work out even better than I hoped. If we start spreading the rumors that the Firaxis team was moonlighting as embedded system designers, and that in their haste to beat the new Kovorkian Transcendence Machines to market... yes. Yes! YES! We can turn Yin's very existance as more proof that cutting corners is always the wrong decision. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*Darkstar's long time companion and bodyguard motions the messenger out. Saying "It's best if you just go. When he starts that megalomaniacal mad scientist laughter, well... it could be hours before we can get any other reaction..."*

-Darkstar

posted 04-29-99 05:28 PM ET         

The orbital listening post was about to go offline. About a week ago the colony had equipped a deepspace one-way ticket cruiser carrying a mysterious cargo. The launch was successful and the eyes of the colonists followed the flare of the bursting engines as the ship headed to infinity. Yin was gone, life retuned to normal status and yesterday the listening post catched the last message of the ship: "Everything at normal parameters - Farewell"
But now a new message arrived:"Beep...Beep...Beep..."
"What's this?" the stations's commander asked hastily.
"Unscramble!"
"xaorhfgk..*buzzz*..Yin....jiuazziuuuus...brmgroah..graa..Hello there....bzzzzz....Hey I'm back....bzzzzz...fuiiioo...yooouaazzziirrmmm"

posted 04-30-99 08:59 PM ET            

"At least nobody can recognize me now without a face."

"Ummm, actually, I think you're pretty easy to spot now, Yin."

"Shut up and drive! I don't pay you to think."

"You don't pay me at all!"

"See?"

...the sun slowly rising...dust trails behind the car sending signals...

posted 05-02-99 07:55 PM ET         

"Brady, what is it?"

"I just had the strangest dream..."

"Tell me Brady."

"There was...this gimp...or was it two..."

"Gimp? What are you trying to say..."

"...it's that..."

Suddenly an azure streak flashed by the patrol car.

"...whoa! Brady! Didja see that, must've been a couple of gimps who just..."

"..."

posted 05-03-99 04:36 AM ET            

...Yeah, I see 'em...Hey, what the hell!?

Be quiet back there, Brady, if you know what's good for you.

But, but, who are you? Where am I? Where the hell's my gun? Why can't I move?

You still talking Brady? Just be thankful I'm taking you from that dreary little thing you call a life.

Wait, Mmmmister. I...I...I...like my dreary life! By the way, where's your face? Man, that's nasty!

Shut up! You'll be put to use soon enough. Singularity: See that big mesa on the skyline?

Yeah.

Drive there. Fast. Wake me when we get close. If Brady talks, shut off his air supply.

But this car doesn't have any "air supply." It's always filled with air.

Damn it Singularity! That's it...you just lost 10% of your salary. Drive.

posted 05-04-99 03:59 PM ET         

His only guide on this journey is Singularity, and observer from the forums, who appears in the form of a chauffeur that only Yin can see and hear...

posted 05-13-99 04:17 PM ET            

Oh my... Damn! By all the forgotten powers of ole! Damn!

Yin, get yourself a face... or a ski-mask... or something. But... Damn!

Excuse me. I am going to be sick now.

...

posted 05-13-99 05:34 PM ET         

"Sir, we have broken the code, we now know the identity of Yin26"

"Out with it man, speak up"

"Well sir, we had to enlist the services of the old WW2 Enigma machines.... Here's what we found.

Yin has three syllables. Y corresponds to the # 9 on a touchtone phone. 9 plus 3 gives us 2, the last digit of 12. Remember that.

I is the second syllable. I corresponds to 5. Add 2 to 5 and we have 7. Remember that.

From 3 to 2 is -1. Thus the third syllable, N, corresponding to a 6 on the telephone pad, minus 1 leaves us with 5.

The identity is now complete.

Yin26 is none other than 27426."

"So" says M at MI5.

"Don't you see, sir, says the operative. look at yout touchtone telephone. What does 27426 spell?"

"Crico?" he ventures hesitantly.

"No, No, Sir. It's Brian, Brian.

Yin26 is none other than Brian Reynolds"

posted 05-14-99 10:34 AM ET         

"Commander Bond", he barked.

007 sat forward in his chair. "Sir?"

"What's your take on this?"

"I agree, Sir. The key to breaking the pseudonym code was the use of the 26 in the name Yin26. That tipped us off to its being an alpha-numeric system right away."

"So what's with the damning posts, the threat of consumer activism, the frenetic three-a-day posts then the silence for the two weeks?"

"Sir, this is a deep, deep cover game he's playing with double, even triple-crosses. He has several objectives:

To whip up fan interest in the game, and their site;

As only he knows all the game's design flaws and bugs, he needs to get them identified by others, and publicized, to avoid paying huge bonuses to Morris and Train for creating the world's highest rated game;

He gets thousand of the World's best strategy gameplayers doing an extended second beta test for him in real game situations;

He gets hundreds of the World's best programmers volunteering their services to eradicate the bugs and making suggestions to improve gameplay.

Let's nbot forget, Sir, that this is a master strategist at work."

"But, 007, what's with the CtP flames over at the Apolyton site?"

"Well Sir, we went to our friends at Langley on that one. Felix reports that somehow Reynolds obtained a beta test copy of CtP just before last Christmas. Seems he started playing it and could't stop - it was the game he'd always wished he'd built - it was consuming him night and day (Felix says it is the worst case of CtP addiction Langley"s seen). This is the real reason SMAC got released with crashes and bugs. BR was elsewhere at trhe critical time of its inception.

He coudn't let his team know this, so he has adopted that virulent anti-CtP persona, even to the extent of pretending he has never even played the game. But he has to concoct a story as to why he has a copy of it in case his team see it on his desk. Truly a master strategist"

"Impressive, Bond", says M.

"007 leans closer, and drops his voice. "But there's more, Sir. Langley thinks that Firaxis is a SMERSH operation."

"Their objective?"

"To get the brightest and most formidable minds around the World spending countless hours on their PCs playing this game, clogging up the Internet and its forums, and costing the industrialized nations untold hours of lost productivity."

"And what do you think, Bond?"

"We have a deeper problem, Sir.