posted 07-13-99 10:39 AM ET        

Also, on installation Wife 1.0 by default installs itself as a TSR and monitors the whole system. My friend also noticed that some old applications, including Sports 10.3, Beer 1.5 and Fishing 7.0, crash on launch and the system automatically reboots.

Wife 1.0 by default installs add-ons MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw 22.3. It also appears that the functionality of the system falls every day. On my friends� wishlist for version 2.0 was an option of "Don�t warn me again" and an Uninstall option, allowing to install Wife 2.0 in a way that would allow to remove it without wasting Cashe and other system resources

I personally decided to avoid the headache with Wife 1.0 and continue using Girlfriend 2.0. But not without problems. It appears that you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 with Girfriend 1.0 still on the hard disk. Other users have told me it was an old problem and that I "should have known". They said that various versions conflicted over the I/O port. I hoped that this stupid problem would have been solved by then. What�s even worse is that the uninstall function of Girlfriend 1.0 is very unstable and leaves errors in the system that are hard to remove. One more bug: all Girlfriend version prompt from time to time about the necessity to upgrade into Wife 1.0

KNOWN BUG WARNING

Wife 1.0 has an undocumented error - an attempt to install Lover 1.1 without uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will erase all MS Money files and uninstall you. Then Lover 1.1 will abort installation due to "low system resources".

Ways to handle the problem

posted 07-15-99 02:00 PM ET            

I saved the thread as a word processed file. I don't think it would look very good pasted back into the forum, and I don't fancy reformatting it. Do you want me to mail it to you (at the weekend)? If so, in what format?

posted 07-16-99 02:37 PM ET            

On its way.

MB:

I lost. I thought it was Interdictor/Defence Suppression, but I can't find anything to back up my story, other than the original reference. I've had a quick look on the 'net, but no joy.

posted 07-19-99 02:16 AM ET            

Errr. that should read: I can't remember when I have had so much fun.

Roland
Freudian slip ?
LOL!
Main user rule for girlfriend 1.0 and higher and for wife 1.0 and higher, I assume:
Don't try to understand, just try to love."

The Thomas A Stobie
You must remember that Girlfriend 1.0 is just the demo of Wife 1.0. It does not include all the features and some of the features are not documented. Installation of Wife 1.0 makes alterations to your system that cannot be totally removed. These alteration may cause system performance to fluctuate widely, improving it at, and degrading it at time. A word of warning. Never turn on Wife 1.0 unless you plan to actively get involved with it. Ignoring Wife 1.0 will significantly degrade overall system performace. Also Wife 1.0 has a very strong specialized anti-virus program, that focuses on external Girlfriend/Lover programs and when finding them can cause severe damage to your system.

DHE_X2
I don't have have enough cash to upgrade to even gilfriend 1.0. I'm still stuck with the freeware version of justfriends 1.0. However, I'm pretty sure with a few creative adjustments" and plenty of help from some hacker friends of mine, I could upgrade justfriends 1.0 to gilfriend 1.0 without spending all of the cash I have. Of course, all of this would be alot easier if I had the latest version of nicecar '98. However, I am afraid the hacked version of justfriends 1.0 could crash if not modified with care. BTW, is it neccesary to install cushyjob 2.1 along with gilfriend 1.0? I heard that when the two are running at the same time that the performance of Smac.exe is severely hindered. DHE, aggh, if only I knew a little C++!!!

zaz
Also, after installation of Wife 1.0 and insertion on Tab A into Slot B, you will receive as a special bonus, either Son 1.0 or Daughter 1.0. In some cases you may receive both or multiple copies. These programs will drain the remaining memory and hard-drive space on your system. These bonus programs come with patches to upgrade your current version of Wife 1.0. These patches have been known to cause your system to become unstable (Press 'Ctrl+Alt+Del' to reboot your system now), as well as using increased hard-drive space.

Gredd
I think you all need a Life 4.0. Actually, my Girlfriend 1.0 crashed my nicecar '98. Now I have neither. I'm now looking for a window to throw my Life 4.0 out of.

Gredd - anyone got Beer 3.2? ("Was that over the top? I can never tell." -Riddler)

DHE_X2
ask YYYH, I'm sure he has an advanced beta of Vodka 6.0. It's alot better than beer 3.2, so I've heard.
~DHE, blink displacer v. 3.0

Imran Siddiqui
YYYH doesn't have a beta of Vodka 6.0! That's because I gave him Vodka 7.0, the advanced version. Of course, if you're in Vegas, this new version can also include a Wife 1.0. Sorry.
Imran Siddiqui

Yo_Yo_Yo_Hey
The beta version? No, no, no. I really have the full version(warez of vourse) as it is still illegal for a minor, such as myself, to posses Vodka 7.0, even the beta. I'm still a few years away from Wife 1.0. I don't wanna get it now either, seeing as version 1.5 will be coming out by that time.
Your faithful & hell-bent NIMadier general,
YYYH

Q Cubed
fascinating...i'm glad microsoft doesn't have it's hand meddling in this. i have had a stable and good program running for five years now, Girlfriend 1.0a build 1000, which i installed as soon as i was capable of doing so and it hasn't caused any troubles. the good thing about this version i have, is that it's quite capable of adapting...it's got advanced heuristics and sentient algorithms. i love the program. very interesting, entertaining, and downright great, and adaptable and understanding even when other programs such as Stress v10.3 are gobbling up memory which should be allocated to Girlfriend 1.0a build 1000.

Roland:
Don't try to understand, just try to love."
yes...as with normal computers, no one but the creator understand their internal logic.
this means: DHE C++ won't help you...it's going to be next to impossible reverse engineering it.

i'm quite a few years away from upgrading to wife 1.0+. the discussions on it, however, have me seriously considering the upgrade when i am capable. this program is the best thing since sliced bread v1.0!

Q Cubed
as for Life 4.0...i have never heard of that program...doesn't it require a flashy system, though? or at least, one with a good communications protocol?

DHE_X2
aggh, damn.
Oh well, at least while I still have justfriends 1.0 going I can run multiple copies Slowdancesw/cutegirls 2.0 on the schooldance '98 o/s. or something.
DHE, by popular demand not using the funky blink feature.

Roland
Q Cubed, can we assume that no one ever hacked the code for girlfriend 1.0 etc etc... ?
I'm 100 % sure about that...
When all editors crash, try... ehm.. try... oh f***, just give it up!"

Q Cubed
If the source code's been hacked, whoever did it has never returned...or told anyone if they have...
For Maya, or any other female:
Is there a comparable program? Boyfriend 1.0? tell me yout thoughts on it...

DHE_X2
screw trying to run slowdancesw/cutegirls 2.0. My system has been infected by a virus, and for the last few days the pre-sentient algorithms have been pretty screwy. Looks like I need a copy of the chickensoup antivirus.
DHE, when life gives you lemons, through them against a wall and rage against the machine.

Q Cubed
No, no, no, DHE:
When life hands you a lemon, you make highly concentrated acid out of it and accidentally" pour it out on life's hand...
Or, you could blow use the lemons to pelt other system software...such as Life 4.0. or Stuff'nThings x.x

Q Cubed
stupid thing...bah! can't do "carriage returns" right...

outlyr242 the rebirth
The software that came from Son Microsystems just upgraded itself this week. I thought that the little program Infant 1.0 was cute. It ran nicely in the background of any application I happened to be using. It seems to have shared a lot of files with Photoshop 5.0 which was not really a bad thing. Well not Infant 1.0 is gone, I can't find any trace of it on my HD except for the files it left in Photoshop. I think that Infant 1.0 has been replaced by the beta of Toddler 2.0. This program demands to be run all of the time and will crash the whole system if run with other programs even Wife 1.0. Toddler 2.0 runs all over the display and is constantly crashing. I feel as though all my time is spent getting that program to run smoothly only to see it crash again just a few minutes later. And those worried about such things, I must warn you that Toddler 2.0 will always accept cookies and will often prompt you to go get some new ones. We have been receiving a lot of messages from outside sources that I need to go into the code of Toddler 2.0 and replace a file called bottle.dll with one called cup.dll. But as with any change like this there is much more involved in this process. I have also been told that Toddler 2.0 will eventually forget about bottle.dll but I'm still waiting on that one. Also if anybody knows were I can find the plugin for Toddler 2.0 called SleepThroughTheNight or STTN, I would be much interested to hear about it.

The Thomas A Stobie
Toddler 2.0 is a user-intensive program require firm but loving care and lots of attention. It is self-learning and adapting program, so giving the proper stimulous is essential. It also will be wearing on your system, so every so often run the Babysitter 1.0 (or Grandparent 1.0) program to clean up your system and allow Wife 1.0 to sort itself out as well. It may be a good time to run ANightOnTheTown 7.5.

Maya
Gosh... that was funny!
For Maya, or any other female: Is there a comparable program? Boyfriend 1.0? tell me your thoughts on it..." [Q Cubed]
Yes, there is indeed such a program. However, because of numerous bugs, Boyfriend 0.7 never went gold and is still considered a beta version. For example, while programs such as Hockey 2.5 or Football 1.0 are running, Boyfriend 0.7 will freeze and no amount of debugging will enable it to run again until the execution of Hockey 2.5 or Football 1.0 is over. Boyfriend 0.7 communication protocols are also underdeveloped and prone to crashes, especially when you are trying to run programs like WeNeedToTalk 2.0. It should also be noted that JustFriends 1.0 has the annoying tendency of trying to execute its auto-upgrade feature to Boyfriend 0.7, even without any input from your end. Surprisingly however, it is extremely difficult to upgrade Boyfriend 0.7 to Husband 1.0, probably due to the fact that Boyfriend 0.7 algorithms are incapable of understanding Relationship 1.0.
Now, lets have a look at "real-world" application of Boyfriend 0.7 to illustrate my point (I did not wrote this, and have no idea who did, but it is really funny):
----------
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself; Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward x. I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: So that means it was, let's see, February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's. Which means, lemme check the odometer, WHOA! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment. Maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a damn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600!

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs!

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty?! They want a warranty?! I'll give them a damn! I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

Roger," Elaine says aloud.

What?" says Roger.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing).

What?" asks Roger.

I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

There's no horse?" asks Roger.

You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally, he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

Yes," he says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she asks.

What way?" asks Roger.

That way about time?" says Elaine.

Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she speaks.)

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger).

The next day, Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"
----------
*Hugs*
-Maya
Boys are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what."
--Calvin & Hobbes Comic, slightly modified

Q Cubed
thank you for clarifying that, Maya.
also: for future reference, how do you execute the query --"Will You Marry Me?" to upgrade Girlfriend 1.x to Wife 1.x? as i understand it, it also requires the input of a small loop of a group 11 (IB) element inset with a small piece of a carbon allotrope. what function does the loop with carbon have in executing that particular command?
furthermore: the toddler program is interesting...does it automatically upgrade itself through the SmartAutoUpdate feature included in Infant 1.0?

eNo
My compliments Maya. Where did you find it?
Roland: "Freudian slip?" anybody care to explain what that is?

fortunate son
Freudian Slip: Often a surprising, or startling comment, spoken in error, revealing exactly what the speaker was trying Not to say.
Used to run Girlfriend 1.0 fairly well, worked smoothly until upgrades revealed incompatibilities with existing components. The installs/ uninstalls were with every successive attempt more and more difficult to implement. Those .dll's keep turning up in the strangest places, just when I thought they were gone for good. Have Nicecar'98, Career 1.0, but am stuck with Self 3.5, which remains essential to the OS, but is consistently inconsistent with such a notoriously complex program as Girlfriend.
... it's possible that wanting is in many cases better than having...

Roland
Maya:
If boyfriend 0.7 does not run properly, there may be a problem with your system configuration. Many boyfriend betas require directSX; it is unclear whether this is a bug or a feature.
Football 1.0 and other programs are known to consume 100 % of boyfriend 0.7 system resources. While Ctrl-Alt-Del terminates Football 1.0 etc, you will have to reinstall boyfriend 0.7 which can be tricky and may never work. Boyfriend 0.7 communication protocols are incompatible with girlfriend 1.0 protocols; trying to run both will cause a memory overflow. WeNeedToTalk 2.0. is considered a virus by boyfriend 0.7. and will activate anti virus program Ihavenotimewhatdoyouwantwehavebeenthroughthisbefore 1.1. JustFriends 1.0 beta is known to have as many bugs as a microsoft release; install at your own risk. The auto-upgrade feature to Boyfriend 0.7 is usually triggered by unclear input and can (in some cases) be avoided by running Yourenotmytype 2.0. Boyfriend 0.7 was never programmed to run Relationship 1.0; trying to run that program will cause a fatal system error.

PS: Maya, there's one thing I don't understand about the story: Now, did Elaine ever own a horse or not ?

The Thomas A Stobie
One of the key things to remember about Wife 1.0, Boyfriend 0.7, Girlfriend 1.0, Husband 1.0, is that their particular performance and systems requirements are linked to their installed subprograms. Obsessive Compulsion 5.6g running in one program can cause severe problem for other subprograms and the effect can be transmitted via the various Relationship programs to other systems.
Sport Mania 3.1, which is run by a number of the Boyfriend 0.7 programs, a lesser number of Husband 1.0 program, Girlfriend 1.0, and even fewer Wife 1.0 programs, can cause periods of very low system performance including the ability to provide meaningful feedback.
Entertainment-addiction 4.1a can cause a severe drain on resource and reduce system performance as well. In fact, necessary task may not be performed to the determent of the entire system and local area network.
These programs and subprograms do interact together in one of the various Family LANs. Many use the Christian Family LAN 96 which has a set of rules for system interaction and reducing intersystem conflicts. Others use the EightIsEnough Family LAN 2.0 which evolved from the multiple year demo of the same name on the demo distribution net.

AUH20
Warning: Program Dork99 1.0 results in running of programs Girlfriend 1.0 or Wife 1.0. Instead, program results in running of Ridicule 2.1.1 and C++ Gym 4.0. Furthermore, when coupled with Right-wing Fanatic 1.0 the virus Pariah 3.0 initiates. This results in isolation of system from others and causes major breakdown in communication protocol. All commands entered create error message "Scrap Social Security first!"

Q Cubed
Roland, after processing the story through my algorithms, i have come up with the following fuzz-logic(TM)answer:

she has a 50% chance of owning a horse.
she has a 50% chance of not owning a horse.
put together, she has a 100% chance of owning 50% of a horse.

i hope that clarifies the Elaine-horse confusion.
furthermore: it has come to my attention that some versions, such as boyfriend 0.7.1 non-standard issue), don't seem to require directSX, football 1.0 and other related programs don't consume any system resources, and the communication protocols are somewhat compatible with girlfriend 1.0 protocols; the flaw here is that it ends up in a faulty repeat command, though: while the input goes in, the output almost invariably is: OkOkOkOkHuh?Whatdidyousay?Ofcourseiwaslisteningtoyou!Youweresaying... v0.5.
i wonder if it anyone has actually come across that version? if so, all copies of Boyfriend 0.7 must connect to each other by the modems (using the BEERATBAR protocol)and find a way to limit the procreation of such variants.

Q Cubed
btw...will someone answer the previous query of mine? about the carbon inset loop?

The Thomas A Stobie
The procedure to upgrade Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 is a function of the subprograms contained within Girlfriend 1.0 that will migrate to Wife 1.0. One answer will not fit all. I initiated the process on July 4th by prompting for a simple answer. No material component was required. Girlfriend 1.0 then started the 7 month transformation into Wife 1.0. This transformation required upgrading a lot of my system as well as some of the subprograms that remained in Wife 1.0.

Roland
Q Cubed, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure she owns half a horse... actually, I should be 100 % sure... thank you... I guess... But which 50 % ? Front/rear, left/right, other cut ? And what about animal rights and shiny white knights? Who gave her a lift, who delivered the gift ? Why is tomorrow not here, while yesterday`s near ? With all the rain, what's happening to my brain? Ah... The rhyme 4.1. virus... darn...

Q Cubed
I tried asking which half of the horse in the fuzz-logic program, and all i got was this answer:
quote: Answer is fuzzy. Try again later.

Perhaps Fuzz-Logic should upgrade from a Magic 8-Ball and Coke to something more advanced. And i feel your pain, for what's happening to your brain. The Rhyme Virus is strong, and reverbrates like a gong. Ugh, that made no sense, so let's build a fence. I think this virus is harming my internal circuitry.

PawtheUnstuk
lol...be careful with that Toddler 2.0 program, give it to many system rescources, and it will polymorph into Preschooler 5.0. Unlike wife 1.0, Preschooler 5.0 has a very effective communication alogorithim:
Preschooler 5.0: "I want to eat cookies for dinner."
Input from user: "No, we have to eat our spinach before we eat our cookies."
Preschooler 5.0: "No, I don't wanna..."
The program then iniates several strings, which, if not careful, will quickly damage Audio Input processor, and corrupt essential system rescources like sanity 0.1 and marriage 1.0.

PawtheUnstuk, who is thankfully not married and making theese comments from
observation.

PawtheUnstuk
Don't worry! There are Linux versions of all of theese programs, however they also have some bugs. Boyfriend 1.0 for Linux does not run Sports sub-routines, and has a communications protocol that is somewhat compatable with Girlfriend 1.0. (No one has yet been able to add protocol capable of communicating with wife 1.0) Boyfriend for Linux, however, has a notoruis bug of attempting to iniate Sex v6.0 at all the wrong moments. (Programmers regarded this as a feature.) A number of programs have been devolped to deal with this, most noteably "I'm not in the mood" 1.0. This however, is notoriously ineffective. Experts now recommend Laughing v1.0. However, this program has the side effect of terminating shutting down boyfriend 1.0 altogether.

PawtheUnstuk, who is unforunately single at the moment.

Q Cubed
Tech Support

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Will Splitson

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO: un-install, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0 can be disasterious. Doing so may destroy your hard and/or floppy drive. Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually, Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can lead to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance. Suggestions for improved operation of Wife 1.0 Monthly use utilities such as TLC and FTD. Frequently use Communicator 5.0
--Tech Support

Arnelos
After going through several copies of girlfriend 1.0 and being stuck with justfriends 1.0 yet again for several months now: It seems that every copy of justfriends 1.0 that I've upgraded to girlfriend 1.0 has hit an inevitable error where it can't find a compatable personality driver. I have intuitive.dll, which isn't very compatable with senser.dll. This creates problems when copies of senser.dll make up 85% of the personality drivers out there. Aparently, the driver conflict with girlfriend 1.0 doesn't happen until girlfriend 1.0 has been running for some time. So I was understandably excited when a brand new beta version of justfriends 1.1 came out that seemed to actually has intuitive.dll. Unfortunately, because of my elation, I didn't wait long enough to upgrade the beta version of justfriends 1.1 to girlfriend 1.0, as the beta version of justfriends 1.1 has copy protection lock-out that will not let you do the upgrade to girlfriend 1.0 until you have invested in the full version of justfriends 1.1. Another major problem is that whenever I try to connect with the beta of justfriends 1.1, it's trying to run 18credithours.exe, timeconsumingjob.exe, and studentleadership.exe all at the same time. Meanwhile, I'm running 19credithours.exe, and toomanyclubs.exe. The combined drain on each system makes it exceptionally difficult to find small windows when both systems aren't totally occupied. However, the beta of justfriends 1.1 has a copy of roommate 1.0 that now doubles as a new beta of friend 1.0 on my system, which I just upgraded from studypartner 1.0. Hopefully, the beta of friend 1.0, in conjunction with its capacity as roommate 1.0, can help to make connecting with the beta of justfriends 1.1 easier.

Roland
Arnelos: "It seems that every copy of justfriends 1.0 that I've upgraded to girlfriend 1.0 has hit an inevitable error where it can't find a compatable personality driver."
Maybe the problem lies in running justfriends 1.0 without the certaintension 1.0 add-on. Justfriends 1.0 being run on a wecouldgoonlikethatforever platform writes a lot of code into justfriends 1.0 which will cause problems when upgraded to girlfirend 1.0.

Roland 3.0 (Don't ask what happened to previous versions...)

posted 07-19-99 02:25 AM ET            

Q Cubed
Quite, quite. It seems as if Studypartner 1.0 is upgraded to Friend 1.0, one is often able to locate certain things easier, such as Birthdaygift.dll, or Anniversarygift.dll, especially if Friend 1.0 does not have a compatibility.dll problem with you and if the Friend 1.0 is in the same close program group as Girlfriend 1.x. Girlfriend 1.1 is nice...but there are some questions to the length of time it should be running. It appears to me that in some variants of the program, after 6 mos. or so, the program decides to release the majority of its control over the system assets, resulting in uncomfortableperiod.dll. Luckily, however, my version of the program seems to be immune to the effects and problems so far.

Arnelos: Perhaps you should upgrade your yinyang.dll and sensitivity.dll drivers. yinyang.dll will often make it easier for contradictory program commands and diametrically opposed operations patters from interfering with each other. sensitivity.dll may allow your senser.dll file to expand and get into wider use.

Saras: CWALTalk? H.U.G.S.? SweetWords/Kisses? I have a feeling that it will be hard to cancel your installation process...it's almost sounding like that the installation program has already taken up most of your system resources. Ah well. Does anyone have a reliable TechSupport number?

Q Cubed
er...
I should rephrase that.
My version of Girlfriend 1.0 does not seem to be experiencing any of the uncomfortableperiod.dll symptoms. I would even venture as far to say that it has not appeared at all.

CrayonX
Hey! I'm new here, BTW this thread is hilarious!
I have had Girlfriend 1.0 for almost 2 years and have never owned a copy before that. I've had few major problems, except I have encountered various I/O conflicts and long wait periods while it uses Communicator 5.5. I will get constant nag messages about upgrading to Wife 1.0 but I am not too familiar with the new system (I just hit the "Upgrade Later" button every time as I am not ready to commit to such a change. Statistics show a 50% success rate with Wife 1.0, but a firend I know is now using Wife 2.0 after discovering Wife 1.0 interacted with Boyfriend 0.7 in the background causing various GPFs to the point where he eventually purged Wife 1.0 from his system using Divorce Utilities 3.3a. Subsequently His JustFriend 1.0 offered a free upgrade to Girlfriend and eventually he just went for the whole Wife 2.0 package. Right now I'm ready to upgrade to Office 2000 and that will substantially free up more system resources, especially since it will replace Commuting 9.5.

CrayonX
Got SMAC? I do.

Roland
Use Norton Divorcer 5.0... LMAO...

Saras
Damn, I just can't resist the functionality and user-friendliness of Girlfriend 2.0. I mean, if Wife 1.0 is better, why not upgrade? The problem lies elsewhere - the ugrading process is itself free of charge, but it unavoidably launches a batch file with different versions of Friend and Buddy, requesting numerous files of Beer 1.0, Vodka 1.0 and Bridesmaid 1.0 - 8.0. I just hope my system doesn't crash in the middle of it.

Roland
Well, that should be the smallest problem. You'd install those nice untilities anyways at some occasion, wouldn't you ? Also, at some point, you will get to use those utilities for free when friends1.0 and buddy1.0 do their upgrade...

Saras
Good point, Roland

Q Cubed
hmmm...
At least you don't have the ObjectivistMatronofHonor v1.0, who'll wear black to your wedding. Is it just me, or are most programs labeled Philosopher 1.0 awfully strange?

GaryD
Further warning on Toddler 2.0 (output received from girlfriend 1.0). This programme has self modifying code, and if not given the correct input with mutate into ScreamingBrat 5.0. My local supermarket often has some of these in (and are encouraging more).

Saras
I finally ordered the patch for upgrading Girlfriend 2.0 into Wife 1.0, despite reccommendations from Friends X.XX. It is due to arrive on August 28th. One thing that scares me is that the patch will remodify me as well. I will become Husband 1.0, instead of a multi-application package 21AgedGuy 1.0, that could perform the same functions as Husband 1.0, but with far more options in QuantityOfBeer.dll, TimeToGoHome.sys, InnocentFlirtingWithOtherGirls.com and so on.

MikeH II
The other day I accidently loaded GetSoDrunkIForgetMyOwnName v37.4 (a well tested and thouroughly debugged program) into the same memory space as BestFriendOfOppositeSex v3.0. This seems to have created a situation where the Hard Drive took control from the Processor and after a couple of socket errors the system crashed overnight. When I rebooted in the morning I received an "OhGodICantBelieveWeDidThat" Error. Luckily I haven't had to reinstall BestFriendOfOppositeSex v3.0 or upgrade to Girlfriend 1.0 because most of the memory packets were lost in the crash.

Sir David
I have noticed that Girlfriend 1.0 and JustFriend1.0 sometimes bring other programs with it, especielly two programs Newfriendsthatmaybenice 1.0 which is harmless and an other very irretating program called Newfriendsthatnotisgoodforyourhealth 1.0, which many times is not just boring but sometimes so odd that you get scared. A major problem when you try to uninstall Newfriendsthatnotisgoodforyourhealth 1.0 is that the program you first installed also will uninstall caused by the first uninstall. Against Newfriendsthatnotisgoodforyourhealth 1.0 you can use Vodka 7.0, but there is also an other program that follow Girlfriend 1.0. called Girlfriendsmother 1.0, that may detect the use of Vodka 7.0 and by some reason then automaticly uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 but not Newfriendsthatnotisgoodforyourhealth 1.0, if you are lucky you now self may uninstall Newfriendsthatnotisgoodforyourhealth 1.0 but some versions of this program is really hard to uninstall.

Analyst
As the proud owner of one copy of Toddler 2.0, I can tell you that the benefits of that application are hard to overstate. Although the AI seems deceptively simple, it's rich complexity and infinite replayability will keep you entertained for as long as the program is running. One thing that makes Toddler 2.0 problematic, though, is that it is such a heavy drain on system resources that it can be very difficult to run the DirectSX utility that goes with Husband 1.0 and Wife 1.0. It goes without saying that the DirectSX utility cannot be run at the same time that Toddler 2.0 is active, but you just don't realize that Toddler 2.0 is active as much as it is until it's resident in your system. Further, Husband 1.0 and Wife 1.0 often spend the majority of time that Toddler 2.0 is inacitve doing no more than rebuilding system resources that have been exhausted, broken or left in disarray by Toddler 2.0. This will occasionally leave resouces so exhausted that even Babysitter 1.0 and Grandparents 3.0 do not free up enough system resources to reactivate the DirectSX drivers. Several copies of Married Friends 1.0 spontaneously warned me that Infant 1.0 (and it's various upgrades) would have that effect on my system, but like all end users, I was too attracted to the pretty package to notice the bugs until after the program was on my system for a while. All of this becomes especially problematic when trying to create a new build of Infant 1.0 for your system. Naturally, the DirectSX drivers are essential to that process. Unfortunately, the presence of Toddler 2.0 means that these drivers will almost never run spontaneously any longer. Scheduling runtimes for the DirectSX drivers causes a fatal exception error which kills Romance 4.1. This has the effect of increasing spontaneous conflicts between the Husband 1.0 and Wife 1.0 programs. A few months ago, I tried temporarily transferring Toddler 2.0 to the Grandparents 2.0 OS for a week and running Romanitc Getaway 3.0. Though Wife 1.0 occasionally missed the presence of Toddler 2.0, the Romantic Getaway program was very successful during it's run time. Alas, all beneficial effects from runing Romantic Getaway seemed to disappear abruptly once Toddler 2.0 returned to system residence. I'm still looking for solutions to these compatability issues. I hear that they only get worse with the addition of subsequent builds of the Infant 1.0 program to the system.

absimiliard
Hmmm, interesting experiences. Allow me to relate my situation and ask for some advice. First, current system specifications: I am running boyfriend 1.0 as my operating system. Installed packages include, job 5.0 (good income, but requires heavytravel 3.1 as an input parameter), hunkofjunk 3.1 (I know I need to upgrade to nicecar '98, but I'm waiting for nicecar 2000 to come out first, hopefully it won't be too late then), and roommate 3.0. I am also running girlfriend 3.0, with a generally good experience. girlfriend 1.0 triggered my internal nottheone sub-routine and girlfriend 2.0 suffered from using the alreadymarried OS (yes I know that the alreadymarried OS is a recipe for disaster) Here is my problem. girlfriend 3.0 and roommate 3.0 have been co-occupying the same physical space on my hardrive, note that this is same location that self v1.0 occupies as well. girlfriend 3.0 is getting tired of co-existing with roommate 3.0 since all three programs have been in the same space for almost 10 years now. OK, I figure, I'll upgrade to placeofourown 1.0. Unfortunately girlfriend 3.0's communication protocols keep returning the notenoughmoney error whenever I send the string 'Ohcomeone,itisn'tasifI'mnotmakingadecentincome'. Something in girlfriend 3.0's internal code seems to have a programmed imperative to not release the totallyselfsufficient.dll Another problem. I have repeatedly tried to upgrade girlfriend 3.0 to wife 1.0. (seven years of effort at this point) But girlfriend 3.0 keeps calling the functions iWillNotBeMrsAndrewAnythingMyNameIsJen (foo, bar, baz), and not UntilGayMarriageIsLegal (), and finally don'tTryToOppressMeWhiteBoy (). I've looked at some of the source code and all of these functions seem to stuck in infinite loops with no exit conditions. Does anyone have any suggestions? BTW girlfriend 3.0 constantly asserts that a group 11 (IB) element inset with a small piece of a carbon allotrope is fatally toxic to version 3.0. I thought all versions of girlfriend liked a group 11 (IB) element inset with a small piece of a carbon allotrope???? Has anyone else encountered this bug?
-absimliard

Analyst
Absimiliard, my first observation is that 10 years is a very, very long time to be running either the Roommate 3.0 or Girlfriend 3.0 programs, regardless of version, especially when running them on the same system. Sounds past due to start running Placeofyourown 1.0. It's important to note that, unlike the case of the wife 1.0 program, the comunication protocol feedback from Girlfriend 3.0 is strictly optional in deciding whether to install Placeofyourown 1.0. Girlfriend 3.0's objections to that program can be overridden at any time you choose and any form of custom installation options your system can afford to run on it's own can be selected. If Girlfriend 3.0 is absolutely determined to resist upgrading to Wife 1.0, perhaps it would be best for you to demonstate the downsides of that programming arrangment as an inducement to change. Sounds to me like you've got a rare (but not unheard of) version of Girlfriend 3.0. Be advised that this version's extreme resistance to being upgraded to Wife 1.0 is not easily overcome (and occasionally cannot be overcome at all) and can rarely be accomplished without risk of a permanent crash. If you are determined to try, then installing Placeofyourown 1.0 is an essential first step, regardless of the objections forwarded by the Girlfriend 3.0 communicaiton protocol. After that, if Girlfriend 3.0 is still resistent to an upgrade, you might try activating maybeweoughttoseeotherpeople.dll. Sometimes, just the threatened possibility of having to share a system with this potentially destabilizing driver will convince the reluctant Girlfirend 3.0 program to accept an upgrade. In extreme cases, the proposed complete uninstallation of Girlfriend 3.0 from your system will cause the program to release its upgrade protocols. I mention these exteme measures because it sounds to me like you've exhausted the avenues presented by Girlfriend 3.0's communication protocols. You have to accept the risk, though, that more forceful attempts to obtain the upgrade to Wife 1.0 could cause a permanent crash of the Girlfriend 3.0 program. If you're determined to start operating Wife 1.0, though, Girlfriend 3.0 has to either grow or go. Ten years without an upgrade is too long for any program.

MikeH II
WARNING:
Use of the perhapsweshouldseeotherpeople.dll can cause fatal exceptions and should only be used by operators who have a thorough understanding of the Girlfriend 3.0 operations on their own OS. Here's a good one for you all to help me with. What if there is a JustFriend 1.0 which I want to upgrade to Girlfriend 1.0? JustFriend 1.0 is running on a server in a different City which isn't on the WAN and only has dial-up connections. Unfortunately a lot of the work which I would need to do on the Girlfriend 1.0 program needs to be performed on a local console and the DirectSX drivers can't be accessed over a dial-up. I am currently running Job 2.0 and RentedAccomodation 4.0 as is the JustFriends 1.0 task. System compatibility doesn't seem to be a problem and the upgrade path seems straightforward but I'm not sure whether to upgrade JustFriends 1.0 or try and find a fresh install of Girlfriend 1.0 on the LAN and hope for compatibility.

jdwells
Refresh v 3.6. "I love this thread!!!!"

JB
Hmmm. My copies of JustFriends 5.0 are trying to upgrade to Girlfriend 1.0, and repeated choosing of the 'remind me later' option seems to have no effect. Unfortunatly, if I choose 'yes' for JustFriends 5.0 I'm afraid Girlfriend 1.0 will eventually crash and delete my copies of JustFriends 5.0. Anyone have any news on when Government .00001 will release the GayMarrage.dll? I've heard about it for years and not cared, as I never expected my system to need it. However, I find that my system is missing a copy of Hetero 1.0, and instead has a copy of Homo 1.0, which is a quite good program, though it's getting bad reviews. Also, does anyone know what the success rate is of running Boyfriend 1.0? I hear that it crashes quite a lot. However, to prevent crashes, I'm not running DirectSX until Boyfriend 1.0 upgrades to ForeverLove 5.0, which GayMarrage.dll will upgrade to Husband 1.0. Anyway, anyone know if Government .00001 will finally release this .dll?

Q Cubed
Boyfriend 1.0?
Whoa...I was told by Maya that the most recent version was Boyfriend 0.7... This Boyfriend 1.0...is it better than 0.7? If it is, it has to be...corrupted.

JB
Hmmm. I wonder what Maya could have meant? The only thing that can go below '1.0' is the gov't.

Caftor
I believe Maya was intending to indicate that the Boyfriend program is in a perpetual beta state--an assertion that many others seem to agree with. However, I can confirm that the Boyfriend program (we'll assume beta release 0.7) DOES in fact run under the Homo 1.0 OS, just as it does under the Hetero OS, with only a few minor interface differences to contend with. Success rate is somewhat comparable to running Boyfriend/Girlfriend under the Hetero OS, encountering many of the same errors and using many of the same system resources. Since none of us can load the GayMarriage.dll yet, we do not contend with the Divorce! system error and the system degradation that causes. Unfortunately, at the moment Government .00001 seems to be infected with the RightWing virus, which prevents it from releasing GayMarriage.dll. Don't look for a release until the virus is effectively removed from the system. Until then, upgrades to ForeverLove 1.0 will have to do, since after all that program has a very similar "look and feel" to Husband 1.0.

JB
Yes, I guess it does, but it doesn't have the benefit programs that the instalation of GayMarrage.dll would install-- such as WorkerBenifits 3.0, which I hear is a pretty good thing to have. BTW, I thought that FreedomOfReligion.dll was supposed to prevent the gov't from getting the RightWing virus.

Saras
Now that is what I call a post!!! An unscrupulous poster could have used the opportunity to boost his post count, but you are not like them! Thanks, Q Cubed.

Mortis
posted 04-16-99 11:06 AM ET

There is a bug in Girlfriend 1.0, that results in the premature instalation of infant 1.0, the bug is caused by a virus in DirectSX. This bug often causes an early upgrade to Wife 1.0.

One problem with upgrading Justfriends 1.0 to Girlfriend 1.0 is that if Girlfriend 1.0 crashes, the files are deleated of your system, making it difficult to re-install Justfriends 1.0.
Roland
posted 04-16-99 11:09 AM ET

Even worse, just the upgrade attempt may in some cases delete justfriends1.0 and leave in the .ini files which makes reinstalling justfriends1.0 very difficult...
JB
posted 04-17-99 05:54 PM ET

Yes, an unscrupulous poster could have used your efficient posts to unscrupulously raise his post count with an unscrupulous but apparently sencere comment, which another unscrupulous poster could use to make a remark about the comment to raise his post count
AAARRRGH
posted 04-17-99 07:07 PM ET

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
I had this problem that girlfriend 1.3, kept creating daughter 1.0 and son 1.0, each time I executed it, but I found that protection 6.0+ may stop it. Especially as the user may see son 1.0 and daughter 1.0 as viruses.. The only bad thing is that it won't delete them, only prevent new coming.. You could also uninstall girlfriend 1.3, which would give you a 75% chance of these viruses to disapear.. But if girlfriend 1.3 has the utility lawyer 7.23 installed, will it mean that you're gonna lose many systemresources in the future...
Shining1
posted 04-17-99 11:55 PM ET

This is all too much. I can't get reliable tech support for girlfriend 1.0 anywhere, and girlfriend 1.0 (oddly) supplies no information about her creators. I'm stumped.

I also suspect that Girlfriend 1.0 has acquired a cache file from another version of Boyfriend 0.7 and is trying to reverse engineer JustFriends 0.1 on me.