posted 06-08-99 11:31 AM ET        

"You can't say civilization don't advance. For every war, they kill you a new way." - Will Rogers

"I can always make it a rule to get there first with the most men." - Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest

"The best diplomat I know is a fully charged phaser." - Scottie, from Star Trek

"Nuts!" - Gen. Anthony McAuliffe

"Let's go bonk some heads!" - Civ2 Military Advisor

posted 06-08-99 02:08 PM ET         

To kill one man is a tragedy. To kill a million is only a statistic.
Stalin (I think)

posted 06-08-99 08:36 PM ET         

one of the Barrymores

It all depends on your definition of what the word "is" is

Some soon to be forgotten figment of a President

I like my cigar too, but I take it out every once in awhile

Groucho Marx

We will bury you

Nikita Kruschev

Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

RWR

Your faithful and obedient servant

posted 06-08-99 09:15 PM ET            

"Sauer er �lreite dyr!"
Some politician, can't remember who.

"N�r jeg ser deg her, f�r jeg den samme f�lelsen som n�r jeg ser flaskeskip: "Hvordan kom han inn her?""
Erik Solheim to P�l Skj�rvengen.

"Good day!"
K�re Willoch on US TV.

Every word Thor Heyerdahl has ever said in English, not because they're great (they're not!), but because of his terrible pronunciation.

"Moooot norrmalt!"
Leif Juster

"S� e' de' p� 'an igjen!"
Jan Eggum

"Enige og tro til Dovre faller!"
The Eidsvoll men after signing the Norwegian constitution.

"Jeg tog min nystemte Cithar i H�nde.
Sorgen forgik mig paa Ulrikens Topp."
Opening lines of the "Bergensiana"

"Faen!"
Trade union leader Yngve Haagensen

"Det er typisk norsk � v�re god."
Gro Harlem Brundtland's pathetic attempt to create a new national motto.

"Haba haba zot zot, heba heba zat zat, ba nam nam."
Stupid 80's song.

"Ja takk, begge deler!"
Ole Brumm (Winnie the Pooh) quote.

posted 06-08-99 10:32 PM ET            

"Cry 'Havoc!' and let slip the dogs of war." -Julius Ceasar, William Shakespeare

"Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong."
-Ronald Reagan

"There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others."
-Nicolo Machiavelli

"Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"We have waited centuries for this moment. The rivers will flow with the blood of those who oppose us."
-Kane, leader of the Brotherhood of Nod

posted 06-09-99 03:24 AM ET            

"D�rfen's denn das ?"
(free translation: "Isn't there a law against this?" - Austrian emperor Ferdinand after the revolutionaries seized control of Vienna in 1848)

posted 06-09-99 04:08 AM ET            

"moo!" - jig

posted 06-09-99 10:06 AM ET            

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
-George Bush, US President

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush, US President

"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."
-Duffy Daugherty , football coach and sports analyst

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard Nixon, US President

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
-Bill Peterson, football coach

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle, US VP

"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
-Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle

"We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle

"Potatoe"
-Dan Quayle

"The road of good intentions is paved with Hell."
-Spencer Ante

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Anon

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Keppel Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people."
-Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
-Samual Goldwyn

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."
-Dan Quayle

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
-Dan Quayle

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force.
We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the
night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

"Antidotes are what you take to prevent dotes."
-Anon

"One of their children, Cain, once asked, 'Am I my brother's son?'"
-Student Bloopers

posted 06-09-99 02:17 PM ET         

President decided to go with Israeli-Iranian offer to release our five hostages in return for asle of 4,000 TOWs to Iran by Israel...George Shultz+I opposed-Bill Casey , Ed Meese+VP favored--as did Pondexter.
Diary of Caspar Weinberger, Jan 7, 1986. (He was indicted for concealing it, btw.)

When those countries have a man to lunch, they really have him to lunch.
R. Reagan, discussing the emerging African nations.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chairman Moe of Liberia.
R. Reagan, introducing President Samuel K. Doe of Liberia.

I'm no linguist, but I have been told that in the Russian language, there isn't even a word for freedom.
R. Reagan. (If you can guess what 'svoboda' means, you get a cookie.)

I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.
R. Reagan.

I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
R. Reagan.

All the waste in a year froclear power plant can be stored under a desk.
R. Reagan. (If you can guess how the figure '30 tons per year' applies to this statement, you get a cookie.)

Another country was facilitating those sales of weapons systems. Then they were overcharging and apparently putting the money into bank accounts of the leaders of the Contras. It wasn't us fuunneling money to them. This was another country.
R. Reagan.

That one litttle mountain (Mt. Saint Helens) has probably released more sulphur dioxide into the atmosphere of the world than has been released in the last ten years of automobile driving or things of that kind that people are so concerned about.
R. Reagan (Mt. Saint Helens released 2000 tons of sulphur dioxide per day at its peak, compared to the 81,000 tons per day emitted by cars.)

Approximately 80% of our air polllution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation. So let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards for man made sources.
R. Reagan. (That statement is just insane.)

A drastic reduction in the deficit will take place in the first fiscal year of '82.
R. Reagan. (Try a deficit of 110.7 billion, ronnie. That breaks the previous reccord by over 44 billion.)

Alaska...has a greater oil reserve than Saudi Arabia.
R. Reagan. (At the time, we'd dsicovered 9.2 billion barrels and predicted another 49 billion to be discovered in Alaska. The saudis proven reserves were estimated by the US Department of Energy at 165.5 billion barrels. Other estimates went as high as 500 billion.)

posted 06-09-99 02:57 PM ET         

-- George Orwell - "1984"

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

posted 06-09-99 03:05 PM ET            

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public"
H.L. Mencken

"He always played the game- and he always lost it"
Winston Churchill