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Author Topic:   The crappiest place on Earth award

Alphaman posted 06-03-99 12:07 PM ET
Nominate a place and the reasons why it should win this much sought after award.
============================================
My nomination is Perth, Western Australia.
Reasons:
1) Officially THE most isolated capital city in the world. (no joke)
2) Basically a large village.
3) Populated by the utter garbage from around the world. eg the greasiest wogs, the chinkiest chinks, the most complainingest poms, the stupidest irish, the dumbest eastern state rejects etc etc...
4) Amazing ugly-to-good looking people ratio. Possibly the lowest in the world.
5) An absolutely shocking public transport system. Bus drives are almost on a constant state of strike.
6) Worst car-to-parking space ratio of any civilised city. If you want to go somewhere you have to park three suburbs down and catch the train.
7) Everything is too damn far away. The city is physically huge, but at the same time contains astoundingly little.
8) All round nothing to do about town.
9) The weather. Its absolutely shocking. Boiling in summer. Freezing in winter. Constantly raining in autumn. Allergy warnings in spring.
10) If you ever come to Australia (aka things to avoid) then give Perth a miss. Don't worry you won't miss anything.
===========================================
I doubt any of you can really put up any competition to Perth for the "worst place on Earth" award. But feel free to try.
MichaeltheGreat posted 06-03-99 12:19 PM ET
Alphaman - I didn't find Perth all *that* bad, but in at least one case, I have to disagree with you a bit on 3 & 4. I have a friend there who is eastern European, but hardly a reject since she's educated, speaks five languages and she and her family are quite well off.
She's also an incredibly, life-takingly, heartbreakingly GORGEOUS babe, who would make the middle of the sahara worth visiting, and can easily make up for a couple of thousand uglies - so she alone improves your city's ratio.
And, no, I'm not giving you her phone number - she's mine. :P~~~ If only Perth weren't so damned far from San Diego. But otherwise, you're not far off - Perth doesn't have much to recommend it.
Alphaman posted 06-03-99 12:45 PM ET
What country in East Europe is she from?
Asking cos I'm from there too. (no joke)
Spoe posted 06-03-99 01:07 PM ET
"Amazing ugly-to-good looking people ratio. Possibly the lowest in the world."
Wouldn't this mean there's an amazing proportiong of good looking people? P'haps you mean low good to ugly ratio?
MichaeltheGreat posted 06-03-99 02:02 PM ET
Alpha - she's from Bucharest, Rom
Fjorxc the Maniac posted 06-03-99 05:02 PM ET
Alphaman: What, perchance, would a wog be?
Crappiest place? Hmm. I'd have to say... Orlando, Florida. Why? Firstly, it's even more tacky than I expect Las Vegas to be (tons of flashing lights, neon signs, et cetera), all of the monotonously regular restaurants/tourist traps, and the fact that EVERY store there, regardless of what they sell, has a respectable amount of Disney merchandise. All in all, I think something like "Mickey" would be a much better name for this place.

Fjorxc the Maniac
Unwashed Village Idiot,
Wanderer,
CWALer,
8th Canadian Faction of Humanity.
JohnIII posted 06-03-99 05:06 PM ET
Fjorxc: Wog= black/Asian person. This leads to some very bad jokes.
John III
JT 3 posted 06-03-99 06:01 PM ET
LA.
1) Traffic jams are longer than the Nile.
2) Ever breathe air from a bus exhaust pipe constantly? This place is worse. You breathe air from about 10,000 bus exhaust pipes constantly.
3) Trash. Wading through piles of this is required if you try to live there.
4) LA Rams. 'Nuff said.
5) Crime. You consider yourself lucky if someone only steals your car in a day.
I also nominate:
South Pole.
1) Cold.
2) Freezing.
3) I'd rather live in a refrigerator; It's warmer.
4) Absolutly impossible to cook anything.
5) Cold.
6) Did I mention the cold?
Some city in New Mexico; I forget its name right now.
1) Population: 37
2) They literally elected a goat as mayor.
3) The goat drinks a case of beer every day(I'm not kidding).
4) Hot.
5) Dusty.
6) Biggest commercial area is the soda machine.
7) The soda machine has been out of soda since 1963.
8) Biggest industrial area is Mrs. Smith's sowing machine.
9) The sowing machine won't work because there is no electricity.
10) The people haven't heard of the Macerana yet.
11) The people haven't heard of the television yet.
12) Noone is without at least 4 cowboy hats.
13) The newest car there is a '56 Chevy.
14) There is almost no water.
15) There is almost no food.
16) It's cold at night in the winter.(desert)
17) There is nothing to do, as there is nothing to sell, nothing to make, and not enough people to have any sort of event.
Valtyr posted 06-03-99 06:05 PM ET
JT 3: Didn't the Rams move to St. Louis? Or did they move back?
jsorense posted 06-03-99 06:28 PM ET
I believe the source of wog is the abbreviation for "Worthy Oriental Gentleman." Initially it was meant to be a relatively respectful reference to Chinese officials by English colonial staff. It soon was less then a complementary or respectful honorific and became a racial slur.
Anyone have a better history?
JT 3 posted 06-03-99 06:42 PM ET
Hmmm..... I think they did. I forget. MAN, I LOVE FOOTBALL, BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE THE SEASON STARTED THAT I FORGET WHERE THE TEAMS ARE! Anyway.... LA has some crappy team that really bites.
4Horses posted 06-03-99 09:32 PM ET
Cairo, Egypt
The only place I've ever seen trash piled higher than buildings.
Valtyr posted 06-03-99 10:21 PM ET
JT 3: I don't think LA even has a football team anymore, now that the Rams moved to St. Louis and the Raiders returned to Oakland.
Valtyr posted 06-03-99 10:27 PM ET

I really should get an award for turning every one of my posts into a sports issue.
Well, I also have some anti-sci-fi ones .
Valtyr
Limited.
dingwick posted 06-03-99 10:51 PM ET
I spent about four weeks in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I'd have to say it could give Perth a run for it's money.
Koshko posted 06-03-99 11:59 PM ET
I'd have to nominate any place that you are stuck there against your will.
1212 posted 06-04-99 12:18 AM ET
no its new orleans.
its hot and humid and smells like alchahol all the time. And its Sleazy. Its like Reno nevada but 100% times more humid

Thats the joke the LA rams. they sucked. ohh boy did they suck. so they move to st louis and still suck. Its the curse of LA. same thing with the raiders. They move back to oakland from LA and suck. Well i feel like im the only one that knows the NFL in this forum.
High Priest posted 06-04-99 12:40 AM ET
France takes the cake.
Sure, Paris might be a pretty city, the only problems are the Frenchies
Frogs ruin everything
High Priest
Has a personal dislike of the French race
HolyWarrior posted 06-04-99 01:17 AM ET
Peoria, IL. Do I need to explain why?
Jay posted 06-04-99 01:30 AM ET
Sweden
Alphaman posted 06-04-99 02:43 PM ET
Well I'm not sure how 'wog' is used in other countries, but in Australia it actually means an Italian or, to a lesser extent, a Greek.
An Asian is a chink or a gook.
As far as I know a black is a nigger.
I haven't heard wog used in relation to blacks or asians.
walruskkkch posted 06-04-99 03:05 PM ET
If you still want to rag on LA for sports
how about the Clippers?
sandworm posted 06-04-99 03:21 PM ET
But Peoria has the Rivermen!
You gotta love a city that has a giant inflatable riverboat captain -complete with wheel, hat and pipe- for its hockey team to skate through!
Honestly, that was one of the funniest damn things I've ever seen.
"Four hours in Peoria"
-unknown, Datalinks
Valtyr posted 06-04-99 04:30 PM ET
Hey, don't speak bad about Peoria! I've never been there, but I once knew a very cute girl from Peoria. No, make that an
extremely cute girl .
Valtyr
Being nostalgic.
JohnIII posted 06-04-99 04:31 PM ET
Italian? Greek? Never heard those.
John III
Eris posted 06-04-99 04:33 PM ET
I would rather be in Peoria than Decatur.
Luckily, I'm in neither (but I'm in the same state!)
JT 3 posted 06-04-99 06:02 PM ET
1212: You are so not the only one who knows football on this forum. I know tons. Longest field goal, Super Bowl winners, highest score, etc. I just got confused 'cuz I thought LA had some team left, so I picked the Rams.
Provost Harrison posted 06-04-99 09:26 PM ET
Grimsby, England. This place is a dump-and-a-half. The only place that would look better after a strategic nuclear strike.
Koshko posted 06-04-99 11:16 PM ET
I guess since I now live in the Chicagoland, I can go visit those beautiful places in Illinois you all seem to love.
JT3,
Isn't LA supposed to be picking up some crappy expansion team in a couple of years.
Alphaman posted 06-05-99 10:33 AM ET
Well Italians are those fat, hairy, greasy, talking witha stupida accent, immigrants to everywhere, pasta eating people around the place.
Greeks are Italians who don't like pasta.
Provost Harrison posted 06-05-99 01:08 PM ET
Alphaman, I find your opinions disturbing. Stop being xenophobic (that's not a fear of fungus ). I suppose that makes me a 'limey' does it (presuming you're American). And I detest xenophobia, homophobia, etc. Hell, I even detest arachnophobia
Alphaman posted 06-05-99 01:15 PM ET
Well my girlfriend is actually Italian, so I'm around them a lot. Plus they know I'm only joking. And, no, I'm not American sorry.
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Author	Topic: The crappiest place on Earth award
Alphaman	posted 06-03-99 12:07 PM ET Nominate a place and the reasons why it should win this much sought after award. ============================================ My nomination is Perth, Western Australia. Reasons: 1) Officially THE most isolated capital city in the world. (no joke) 2) Basically a large village. 3) Populated by the utter garbage from around the world. eg the greasiest wogs, the chinkiest chinks, the most complainingest poms, the stupidest irish, the dumbest eastern state rejects etc etc... 4) Amazing ugly-to-good looking people ratio. Possibly the lowest in the world. 5) An absolutely shocking public transport system. Bus drives are almost on a constant state of strike. 6) Worst car-to-parking space ratio of any civilised city. If you want to go somewhere you have to park three suburbs down and catch the train. 7) Everything is too damn far away. The city is physically huge, but at the same time contains astoundingly little. 8) All round nothing to do about town. 9) The weather. Its absolutely shocking. Boiling in summer. Freezing in winter. Constantly raining in autumn. Allergy warnings in spring. 10) If you ever come to Australia (aka things to avoid) then give Perth a miss. Don't worry you won't miss anything. =========================================== I doubt any of you can really put up any competition to Perth for the "worst place on Earth" award. But feel free to try.
MichaeltheGreat	posted 06-03-99 12:19 PM ET Alphaman - I didn't find Perth all that bad, but in at least one case, I have to disagree with you a bit on 3 & 4. I have a friend there who is eastern European, but hardly a reject since she's educated, speaks five languages and she and her family are quite well off. She's also an incredibly, life-takingly, heartbreakingly GORGEOUS babe, who would make the middle of the sahara worth visiting, and can easily make up for a couple of thousand uglies - so she alone improves your city's ratio. And, no, I'm not giving you her phone number - she's mine. :P~~~ If only Perth weren't so damned far from San Diego. But otherwise, you're not far off - Perth doesn't have much to recommend it.
Alphaman	posted 06-03-99 12:45 PM ET What country in East Europe is she from? Asking cos I'm from there too. (no joke)
Spoe	posted 06-03-99 01:07 PM ET "Amazing ugly-to-good looking people ratio. Possibly the lowest in the world." Wouldn't this mean there's an amazing proportiong of good looking people? P'haps you mean low good to ugly ratio?
MichaeltheGreat	posted 06-03-99 02:02 PM ET Alpha - she's from Bucharest, Rom
Fjorxc the Maniac	posted 06-03-99 05:02 PM ET Alphaman: What, perchance, would a wog be? Crappiest place? Hmm. I'd have to say... Orlando, Florida. Why? Firstly, it's even more tacky than I expect Las Vegas to be (tons of flashing lights, neon signs, et cetera), all of the monotonously regular restaurants/tourist traps, and the fact that EVERY store there, regardless of what they sell, has a respectable amount of Disney merchandise. All in all, I think something like "Mickey" would be a much better name for this place. Fjorxc the Maniac Unwashed Village Idiot, Wanderer, CWALer, 8th Canadian Faction of Humanity.
JohnIII	posted 06-03-99 05:06 PM ET Fjorxc: Wog= black/Asian person. This leads to some very bad jokes. John III
JT 3	posted 06-03-99 06:01 PM ET LA. 1) Traffic jams are longer than the Nile. 2) Ever breathe air from a bus exhaust pipe constantly? This place is worse. You breathe air from about 10,000 bus exhaust pipes constantly. 3) Trash. Wading through piles of this is required if you try to live there. 4) LA Rams. 'Nuff said. 5) Crime. You consider yourself lucky if someone only steals your car in a day. I also nominate: South Pole. 1) Cold. 2) Freezing. 3) I'd rather live in a refrigerator; It's warmer. 4) Absolutly impossible to cook anything. 5) Cold. 6) Did I mention the cold? Some city in New Mexico; I forget its name right now. 1) Population: 37 2) They literally elected a goat as mayor. 3) The goat drinks a case of beer every day(I'm not kidding). 4) Hot. 5) Dusty. 6) Biggest commercial area is the soda machine. 7) The soda machine has been out of soda since 1963. 8) Biggest industrial area is Mrs. Smith's sowing machine. 9) The sowing machine won't work because there is no electricity. 10) The people haven't heard of the Macerana yet. 11) The people haven't heard of the television yet. 12) Noone is without at least 4 cowboy hats. 13) The newest car there is a '56 Chevy. 14) There is almost no water. 15) There is almost no food. 16) It's cold at night in the winter.(desert) 17) There is nothing to do, as there is nothing to sell, nothing to make, and not enough people to have any sort of event.
Valtyr	posted 06-03-99 06:05 PM ET JT 3: Didn't the Rams move to St. Louis? Or did they move back?
jsorense	posted 06-03-99 06:28 PM ET I believe the source of wog is the abbreviation for "Worthy Oriental Gentleman." Initially it was meant to be a relatively respectful reference to Chinese officials by English colonial staff. It soon was less then a complementary or respectful honorific and became a racial slur. Anyone have a better history?
JT 3	posted 06-03-99 06:42 PM ET Hmmm..... I think they did. I forget. MAN, I LOVE FOOTBALL, BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE THE SEASON STARTED THAT I FORGET WHERE THE TEAMS ARE! Anyway.... LA has some crappy team that really bites.
4Horses	posted 06-03-99 09:32 PM ET Cairo, Egypt The only place I've ever seen trash piled higher than buildings.
Valtyr	posted 06-03-99 10:21 PM ET JT 3: I don't think LA even has a football team anymore, now that the Rams moved to St. Louis and the Raiders returned to Oakland.
Valtyr	posted 06-03-99 10:27 PM ET I really should get an award for turning every one of my posts into a sports issue. Well, I also have some anti-sci-fi ones . Valtyr Limited.
dingwick	posted 06-03-99 10:51 PM ET I spent about four weeks in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and I'd have to say it could give Perth a run for it's money.
Koshko	posted 06-03-99 11:59 PM ET I'd have to nominate any place that you are stuck there against your will.
1212	posted 06-04-99 12:18 AM ET no its new orleans. its hot and humid and smells like alchahol all the time. And its Sleazy. Its like Reno nevada but 100% times more humid Thats the joke the LA rams. they sucked. ohh boy did they suck. so they move to st louis and still suck. Its the curse of LA. same thing with the raiders. They move back to oakland from LA and suck. Well i feel like im the only one that knows the NFL in this forum.
High Priest	posted 06-04-99 12:40 AM ET France takes the cake. Sure, Paris might be a pretty city, the only problems are the Frenchies Frogs ruin everything High Priest Has a personal dislike of the French race
HolyWarrior	posted 06-04-99 01:17 AM ET Peoria, IL. Do I need to explain why?
Jay	posted 06-04-99 01:30 AM ET Sweden
Alphaman	posted 06-04-99 02:43 PM ET Well I'm not sure how 'wog' is used in other countries, but in Australia it actually means an Italian or, to a lesser extent, a Greek. An Asian is a chink or a gook. As far as I know a black is a nigger. I haven't heard wog used in relation to blacks or asians.
walruskkkch	posted 06-04-99 03:05 PM ET If you still want to rag on LA for sports how about the Clippers?
sandworm	posted 06-04-99 03:21 PM ET But Peoria has the Rivermen! You gotta love a city that has a giant inflatable riverboat captain -complete with wheel, hat and pipe- for its hockey team to skate through! Honestly, that was one of the funniest damn things I've ever seen. "Four hours in Peoria" -unknown, Datalinks
Valtyr	posted 06-04-99 04:30 PM ET Hey, don't speak bad about Peoria! I've never been there, but I once knew a very cute girl from Peoria. No, make that an extremely cute girl . Valtyr Being nostalgic.
JohnIII	posted 06-04-99 04:31 PM ET Italian? Greek? Never heard those. John III
Eris	posted 06-04-99 04:33 PM ET I would rather be in Peoria than Decatur. Luckily, I'm in neither (but I'm in the same state!)
JT 3	posted 06-04-99 06:02 PM ET 1212: You are so not the only one who knows football on this forum. I know tons. Longest field goal, Super Bowl winners, highest score, etc. I just got confused 'cuz I thought LA had some team left, so I picked the Rams.
Provost Harrison	posted 06-04-99 09:26 PM ET Grimsby, England. This place is a dump-and-a-half. The only place that would look better after a strategic nuclear strike.
Koshko	posted 06-04-99 11:16 PM ET I guess since I now live in the Chicagoland, I can go visit those beautiful places in Illinois you all seem to love. JT3, Isn't LA supposed to be picking up some crappy expansion team in a couple of years.
Alphaman	posted 06-05-99 10:33 AM ET Well Italians are those fat, hairy, greasy, talking witha stupida accent, immigrants to everywhere, pasta eating people around the place. Greeks are Italians who don't like pasta.
Provost Harrison	posted 06-05-99 01:08 PM ET Alphaman, I find your opinions disturbing. Stop being xenophobic (that's not a fear of fungus ). I suppose that makes me a 'limey' does it (presuming you're American). And I detest xenophobia, homophobia, etc. Hell, I even detest arachnophobia
Alphaman	posted 06-05-99 01:15 PM ET Well my girlfriend is actually Italian, so I'm around them a lot. Plus they know I'm only joking. And, no, I'm not American sorry.