Alpha Centauri Forums
Non-SMAC related
The I Club XXXVII: Coruscant
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Alpha Centauri Forums
Non-SMAC related
The I Club XXXVII: Coruscant
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| Author | Topic: The I Club XXXVII: Coruscant |
| SnowFire |
posted 05-30-99 10:48 PM ET  
Well, it seems that the previous I Club has died a horrible death and is now irretrievably gone. Let's enjoy the sights of this new lovely planet, and keep it pristine and unspoiled of evil HTML. Random Correlian: You call a planet that's entirely been built up pristine and unspoiled? Random Correlian II: Weren't you the one who screwed up the MIDI thread? SnowFire runs off quickly from the mob in a stolen air taxi |
| Alphaman |
posted 05-31-99 04:15 AM ET
Aman: I hear someone is playing stupid HTML tricks down in the I club. Weird Guy: Yep. Aman: Well I'm here to sort things out. Weird Guy: How ya gonna do that? Aman: Well firstly, less weird guys around the place. With that Aman pulls out a semi automatic and wastes the weird guy. |
| Hugo Rune |
posted 05-31-99 07:47 AM ET
Hugo Rune is Being held prisoner in the Imperial Capital of Crousant. Darth, the New Emperor (See XXXV for full details) has begun construction on a space Station powerful enough to destroy Suns. Hugo is brought on a shuttle to become prisoner on the All-New Death Star 2000 Darth: Now, the I club. Where is it located? Hugo: I... I don't know. Darth: You Lie! Darth uses his force powers on Hugo. Hugo: Ghaaak! Th... Th... It... Darth lets go. Darth: Well? Hugo: Crousant. Darth: That's all I needed to know. You will be sold as a slave in the morning. Hugo: NOOOOOO!!!!! |
| Yo_Yo_Yo_Hey |
posted 05-31-99 08:52 AM ET
YYYH quietly walks up to the I Club, slowly opens the wooden double doors, and peaks his big head into the I Club. "Hi guys! I'm banned from Apolyton for a week, so I hope you don't mind me hanging around here for a while," he says. The drunkards ignore him. YYYH briskly walks over to corner 291, sits down, and watches some Tv. Meanwhile, the Death Star 2000� draws nearer...................................................................................................................................... ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ............................................................................................................................................ ...................................................................................................................... Your faithful & hell-bent NIMadier general, |
| Saras |
posted 05-31-99 09:05 AM ET
Saras: Cheers, mates! (gulps down a pint of beer) Saras: BUUURRRPPPPP! |
| Exile |
posted 05-31-99 10:23 AM ET
(a scream is heard as Exile falls from a badly placed Warp Gate and he lands on a, coincidentaly, a landing platform.) Exile: Where am I now? Ah, there's a sign over there Sign: You are now entering Courscant, observe local laws, there is an I Club going on right now Exile: Damn! Oh well, I've used up Naboo... (Exile pulls out a cell phone and calls the World Devistators on to Naboo, coinidentally, it also kills 1212, who learned that keeping his opinions to himself is pristine) |
| Frodo83 |
posted 05-31-99 11:38 AM ET
Sadly, however, it turns out that 1212 is actually a clone. 1313: I am the real 1212! Exile quickly dials a SuperSuperSecret number on his cellphone. Exile: I need another World Devastator! Meanwhile, 1313 tries to set the I Club on fire. |
| Exile |
posted 05-31-99 01:05 PM ET
(The Senate) (a really impressive place, except after Exile started a riot while he was masquarading as the ambassador from Naboo) Exile: Beuraucracy and alcohol don't mix... |
| Victor Galis |
posted 05-31-99 01:39 PM ET
Victor: 1313, you are under arrest for violating Imperial laws. 1313: huh? Victor: Clones were outlawed after the Clone Wars, ow come along and no funny business... (1313 tries to torch the I Club, but Victor draws a lightsaber and chops him in two.) |
| Spider |
posted 06-01-99 07:27 PM ET
Suddenly, a large black starship screams through the atmosphere and crashes through the Senate building. Everyone is staring at the main starship, so the don't notice the spider-shaped escape pod which detaches itself from the nose of the starship. The escape pod lands on 1414 (yet another clone!), squashing him and enforcing the "No clones" law. Only Exile survived the crash, because he slipped off while everybody else was rioting, and so is the only one to notice Spider get out of the escape pod. Spider, making his way to the I Club, gathers all the veteran forumers and informs them that it is their duty to rebuild the republic in their own image, and lays claim to Coruscant, Tatooine, and Alderaan. |
| SnowFire |
posted 06-01-99 10:37 PM ET
The Senate passes a resolution ordering the immediate execution of all Gunguns, and gives the job to Republic forces and explicitly forbids the Trade Federation from coming near Naboo, under the excuse of them trying to steal the glory of killing the Gunguns. As a result, Chancellor Valorum stays in power, and a giant Jar-Jar-B-Q is held with the dead bodies brought back from Naboo on Coruscant. Yayyyy! |
| Spider |
posted 06-01-99 10:50 PM ET
SnowFire obviously didn't read Spider's entry, or he would know that of everyone in the Senate building, only Exile survived. So which planets do you want, SnowFire? |
| CarniveaN |
posted 06-02-99 01:34 AM ET
Carny slowly stumbles through the door of the I-club... whispers "the cabbages are attacking, god save the tomatoes..." and dies... a few minutes later Carny walks in again... looking at a illustration of something and saying to himself..."damit! it's been 4 I-clubs, and still i haven't fixed these holo-projections..." a few minutes later Carny walks in again... looking like he has had a bit too much to dring of something and saying to himself..."damit! this is really begining to piss me off..." a few minutes later Carny walks in again... this time backwards, and looking at a report of some sort, saying to himself..."damit! that does it..." he pulls out a pocket planet buster junior and blows himself to hell... the patrons of the bar just notice a fizzing sound, as if someone turned a hologram off... Carny |
| Exile |
posted 06-02-99 02:44 PM ET
(Having survived the large explosion in the Senate, Exile pulls out the datacards that gives him claim to Mon Calamari, Sullust, and half of the Outer Rim. He replaces them in his pocket and would have smiled if that was possible. The Gungans had been relocated to their secret preserve and chrisk fodder-droids along with the jolt-class fodder-ramas dressed up in Gungan costumes were being rounded up and eradicated by Republic Forces.) |
| Spider |
posted 06-02-99 07:37 PM ET
After getting out of the "escape pod" (which is actually Spider's C<^>3 pod), Spider heads for the I Club, which now has an excellent view of the wreckage of the senate building and what remains of the (heavily) modified YT-1300 freighter he captured and remodeled with Lando Calrissian on board (all that remains of Lando is some organic material scattered all over the blast site and some memories). Walking into the I Club, Spider sees the usual assortment of veterans, as well as some locals who wandered in not knowing that the I Club is not the best place to have a drink, clustered around the holovid cubes watching the replays of the death of the Republic in slow-mo, time-lapse, and real-time versions. In the slowest version, Spider's pod can be seen leaving the ship, so Spider pulls out his Darth Maul-class lightsaber and, with a casual flick of his wrist, destroys the vidcube showing that replay and brings the lightsaber back to himself, turning it off in the process. Spider: No Weapons, eh? Well, that's fine with me. After all, this is a tool, not a weapon. Anybody here want to claim an unclaimed planet? |
| Victor Galis |
posted 06-02-99 08:00 PM ET
Victor: Since everyone is claiming planets, I'll take Dagobah, the Corellian sector, and Kessel. |
| Spider |
posted 06-02-99 08:11 PM ET
Quick explanation: I was trying to make the "3" superscript. "C^3" stands for "Command, control, and communications". I got it out of BattleTech�. |
| High Priest |
posted 06-02-99 09:11 PM ET
Uhhhhh... Yah, another stupid RP thread  High Priest |
| BigER |
posted 06-03-99 01:27 PM ET
That was totaly uncalled for! In place of the lava lamps BigE places yard torches at each table. Watch out for alcohal fires! |
| CarniveaN |
posted 06-03-99 04:10 PM ET
luckily for BigE, Carnivean ran around and drank all of the alcohol in the torches. Thus it is pitch black, but no chance of fire... unless someone lights Carny on fire  |
| Saras |
posted 06-04-99 10:41 AM ET
Saras: Hey you, with the face, I'm here for the beer! Gimme one. |
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