posted 05-20-99 04:20 PM ET        

---

A tribute to the veterans and more intelligent newbies of the SMAC Forums.
(adapted from W.H. Auden's "The Unknown Citizen")
He was found by the Bureau of Statistics to be
One against whom there was no official complaint,
And all the reports on his conduct agree
That, in the modern sense of an old-fashioned word, he was a saint,
For in everything he did he served the Forum Community
Except for the domk spam War to the day he retired
He worked for Fourm unity and never got flamed
But satisfied his role model, the noble BG
Yet he wasn't a newbie or odd in his views,
For the BoS reports that he paid his dues
(Our report of BoS shows it was sound)
And our Social Psychology workers found
That he was popular with the vets and liked a good drink.
The Barkeep's convinced that he attended the I Club daily
And that his reactions to the Pholus mutagen were normal in every way.
Face to Face he was proved to be sane
And those who met him acknowledged his brain.
Both Brother Greg and Q Cubed declare
He was fully sensible to the advantges of veteran status
And had everything necessary to the modern SMACer
proSMAC, SMACX, and a P3 to boot.
Our researchers into Forum Opinion are content
That he held the proper opinions for the time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he fought.
He was prolifica and added five hundred posts to the common wisdom,
Which our Analyst says was right for a Forumer of his generation.
And the transcendii often appreciated his position.

Was he free? Was he happy? The question if absurd:
Had anything been wrong, se should certainly have heard.