posted 05-18-99 05:50 PM ET        

Sydney, Australia. The holographic Brother Greg is standing next to a dumpster, which has several things being thrown out of it.

Brother Greg: For god's sake, jsorense, get out of the dumpster! You didn't come all the way here just to look for your desk again, did you?

jsorense: What makes you think I am?

Brother Greg motions to a nearby city street. The buildings, telephone poles, windows, cars, and even the street itself is completely covered with flyers reading "HAVE YOU SEEN ME?" with a picture of the Unorthodox Agent's desk.

jsorense: I wanted to be subtle about it.

At that point, a great roaring flares up. A rift in space-time opens, gateway to the endless Megaverse. A figure wearing Glitter Boy power armor steps out. The rift closes a few seconds later.

Brother Greg: Hey, look! It's Fjorxc!

jsorense: How can you tell?

Brother Greg: Well, I--

Brother Greg's answer is drowned out by Fjorxc firing his Boom Gun into the air. Brother Greg and jsorense both instinctively reach into their pockets and retrieve one D4.

Brother Greg: I got 2. What'd you get?

jsorense: Four minutes. Dammit.

Brother Greg and jsorense are both deafened by the Boom Gun's blast as Fjorxc runs away really really fast, looking for some demons or Roadgangers to destroy.

posted 05-18-99 06:27 PM ET            

Victor Galis: Your labs have been repaired and upgraded. Roland has cut a voucher to start your forum archaeological project.
CarniveaN: You are hear-by released from the infirmary. You never looked better. Candy and Roxanne have returned to their normal duties.
We are still awaiting news from the Security team.
The DirectorGeneral is sitting at his desk, laughing insanely.
MikeH is doing something or other with Princess Layher in the 3D studios.
Our heroes, jsorense and holographic Brother Greg, are exploring beautiful Sydney Australia looking for dingos, wambats and koalas.
As always, the IIIS is looking for additional staff. Just don't go near the "human resources " office.
If I missed anything, sorry, but I'm late for a very important date.
Ciao, Baby.

posted 05-18-99 08:48 PM ET            

YYYH: I'd like to apply for a job.

Secretary: Ok, what kind of job would you like?

YYYH: Any job........Except test subject!

Secretary: I'll see what I can do. Just go wait on the bench over their for now.

She points to a bench with a one eyed weirdo, a bearded woman, and an insane clown posse sitting on it.

YYYH: Cool.

YYYH sits down on the bench, and starts making conversation with the one eyed weirdo

posted 05-18-99 10:28 PM ET            

Then disappears.

Q appears again.

Then disappears again.

Q: Drat! Ok. Fixed now.

Q appears.

posted 05-19-99 01:28 AM ET            

jsorense,

I believe we can improve efficiency and make our faction's environ standing much better by investing in a new technology. Doctrine: Toilet Training. I request an undisclosed amount of money, staff, test subject, and other resourses. If successful this new doctrine will reduce the amount of workers needed to clean up city streets, and our environmental rating will rise dramatically. Please let me know. Prefered starting date... in 3.46 posts. I am busy cleaning up all the washrooms for a while.

PS - if Doctrine Toilet Training is a sucess, I plan to invest in Doctrine: Flush Toilet and Doctrine: Put the Seat Down.

posted 05-19-99 03:52 PM ET            

"Miriam, could you send the General in please? Yes, he's the dirtiest one, the guy with the BAR and two eyes. And make sure there is plenty of vodka in the freezer too. Thanks, you're an angel."

jsorense turned to the next delicate issue on his platter (since his new desk Still hadn't been delivered), the confidential memo from Carnivean. What was this guy talking about? Doctrine: Toilet Training? Doctrine: Flush Toilets? Doctrine: Put the Seat Down?

"What kind of neo-liberal, politically correct, secular humanistic, socialist, tree-hugging crap is this?" jsoresne groused as he put another black mark in his book next to Carnivean's name (long associated with the insidious Canadian Conspiracy).

"I'll offer him a new floor polisher. That should keep him distracted until I know what to do with him." Mused the increasingly irritable jsorense as he returned to signing purchase orders for several tanker trucks of Everclear� for Exile's laboratory.

posted 05-19-99 04:29 PM ET            

Just as he is about to enter the Institute office a somewhat excessively friendly koala mistakes Aman's leg for a female of its species. After a few minutes of playful jostling he stands up again and lights a cigarette. The koala walks away with a satisfied expression on its face.

After finishing the smoke he walks into the office and inquires about positions vacant. The secretary just points at a seat and says
"Go there until you are called."

posted 05-19-99 05:52 PM ET            

(Or more specifically, the Biochemistry section of the lab....)

Exile: Scalpel

Nurse: Scalpel

(Exile makes a deep cut into the specimen)

Exile: Fluid

Nurse: Fluid

(A thick, pink fluid-solid is squeezed onto the object on the table)

Exile: Allright, one more time with the scalpel...

(Another cut)

Exile: It's done! It's done!

(Exile takes off the cover and under it is a beautifully made cake with strawberry icing)

Exile: Woohoo! Those cookbooks were good for somehing

(Meanwhile, in the lab singularity reactor, experiments on "Singularity Fodder" were being inacted with help from Debris, chrisk, and Jolt)

Scientist 1: Don't worry Jolt, this won't hurt, besides, you'll get to find out what goes on in an event horizon...

(A bound and gagged Jolt is lowered into the currently-shut-off reactor. When he reaches the bottom, the acess hatch seals with a hard *THUNK* and the sentient metal covers it up. Vizorium-5 is leaked into the reactor to start the process...As the singularity is formed, one sound escapes from the chamber)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!

(Meanwhile, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away)

(Jolt materializes from the black hole, he falls into a podracer with a familiar looking kid...)

(Back in the labs)

Scientist 1: Oh well, he's gone....Bring up Debris...

---------------------------------------------

-WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!-

posted 05-20-99 12:36 AM ET            

Shrugging off the rather unusual nature of his current position (narrator's note: for those unaccustomed with BG, he has an unfortunate habit of waking from unconsciousness with his head in a pot plant, but that's another story), he stands up, which immediately causes two things to happen. Firstly, a couple that were involved in some rather unusual activities behind a bush screamed, as a hologram suddenly appeared in front of them.

Side note: in a relatively unknown phenomenon, unconscious holograms actually disappear, and reappear upon awakening. Seeing as the only man ever to try and figure out why had jumped out a window to his death upon realising that he would first have to figure out how a hologram could become unconscious in the first place. Um, where was I. Oh yeah, seeing as he had killed himself, nobody had ever discovered why unconscious holograms actually disappear, or in fact, where they go when they disappear. But that's another story.

[unwashed masses] Get on with the bloody story!

[Chagrinned narrator] Oh, yeah, sorry.

Anyway, firstly the couple screamed. Secondly, HBG wondered what was going on, as no noise was coming forth from their mouths. Then his memory came back, and the deafening boom from the boorn gun, and Fjorx's sudden appearance (which was actually before the boorn gun), explained why he wasn't hearing anything.

Thirdly, a scientist somewhere in the world, trying to figure out how much noise was required to make a hologram could go deaf, reached a smil quandry as his unfortunate forebear (i.e for the dummies, how could a hologram become deaf in the first place), and jumped out his window to his death.

Fourthly, HBG looked at said couple, turned his head 90 degrees to the left, then 90 degrees to the right, and stil couldn't figure out whose body part was whose, but thought that it might be something worth trying out with HLAC (Hologram Lab Assistant Cindy) later, if only he could figure out what they were actually doing in the first place.

Fifthly, realising that only two things were supposed to happen because of his appearance, the narrator disappears in a puff of logic.

[New narrator] Right, now lets get a few things straight. Firstly, my predecessor was too caught up with this whole firstly, secondly thing. Thirdly...

[unwashed masses] Shut up and SOD off you bucket of koala turd, without the bucket!

[Not so New Narrator] Well, I never (storms out)

[Even Newer Narrator] Right then...

[unwashed masses] Don't even think about it!

[Even Newer Narrator] Not even a little think about it?

[unwashed masses] NO!

Okay then, upon studying the couple for a few seconds, they throw something at HBG, which proceeds to sail straight through him, but which finally gives him the impression that maybe there's somewhere else that he should be.

Wandering down the road through the Rocks, HBG notices the posters everywhere, advertising for Jsorsnse's desk. Which immediately made him wonder where Special Agent Jsorsnse was, which reminded him about the dumpster, which in turn reminded him about Fjorx, which immdeiately made him wonder why a gun hade made him deaf, when after all, he was a hologram, which caused him to disappear in a puff of logic.

Fortunately for HBG, a wandering puff of anti-logic happened to wander by, cancelling out the puff of logic, thereby making HBG reappear, with the odd side effect of restoring his herring (which had been missing since he went surfing last), as well as his hearing, yet left him with no memory of the last 3.4928 seconds.

Wondering what the fluff had just happened, HBG looks around, and notices a building next to him, with the letters IIIS plastered on the side.

Seeing a ragtorn, weary looking NIMadeir General YYYH wandering in through the door, HBG thinks that perhaps the IIIS was not what it once used to be. Using the old hidden entrance only available to himself, he enters the IIIS froma side alley.

[unwashed masses] What hidden entrance only available to him?

[Even Newer Narrator] Okay, look, there isn't an entrance, he just walked through the walls, being a hologram and all.

[unwashed masses] Then why the fluff did you say there was a hidden entrance?

[Even Newer Narrator] Because it makes for a better story than just saying he walked through the walls, allright?

[unwashed masses] Hmm, well, we'll think about it...

Anyway, HBG wandered throug the walls, and entered into his old colleague Jsorense's office. Which, seeing as Jsorsnse was watching one of the old pirated tapes of HBG and HLAC in orbital platform #1, caused Jsorsnse to jump straight out of his chair, cracking his head on the roof (yes, he jumped quite a ways out of his chair), and falling down unconscious.

Being a non-hologram, Jsorsnse didn't disappear, and so HBG wasn't in the least bit illuminated about his own disappearance during bouts of inconsciousness. HBG sat down in one of the spare chairs, and watched the rest of the video, thinking to himself that life was certainly more interesting pre-Hologram, but that being a hologram did have some advantages.

[unwashed masses] Which advantages?

[Narrator] Look, I just write this story, go ask a hologram yourself.

[unwashed masses] Hey, we got rid of you.

[Narrator] Aaargh (upon having numerous swords thrust through his non-holographic body)

[unwashed masses] Well, seeing as the narrator is now dead, we shall be continuing this story.

[Narrator's union representative] No you won't, you don't belong to the union.

[unwashed masses] Right, well we're going on strike then.

[Narrator's union rep] You can't go on strike, you don't even work here.

[unwashed masses] Right, we'll show you then (thrust hundreds more swords through union rep). That'll teach him then.

MEanwhile, HBG, unaware of the narrator dispute and subsequent slaughter, sat down, awaiting the imminent return to consciousness of special agent Jsorsnse, and an explanation of just where he got that tape from...

A stray thought also entered his mind that he may just come out of retirement, and re-assume his role as Director of Pharmacology, but he'd have to wait and see...

[unwashed masses] Hey, who wrote that last bit?

posted 05-20-99 02:03 PM ET            

"G'day, mate. Please follow me." In a cheesy imitation of Paul Hogan. Dumbfounded either by the classic beauty or the stunningly awful accent, Alphaman followed Candy down a long hallway, past the office of The DirectorGeneral (who was still laughing maniacally at his own private joke) and into a small windowless room.

posted 05-20-99 04:06 PM ET            

**Finally** done laughing maniacaly, The DG got up, groaned at how sore his ribs were after laughing for two days straight, and headed out of his office, up the hall, and a few floors down to the IIIS senior faculty cafetieria/ bar/ waffle hut/ coffee house/ fnord!/ pub/ arcade/ duty free store.

as the blast doors opened, he could see that HBG, HLA Cindy, And a rather strung out looking YYYH were there.

Plopping down in a luxurious easy chair, he keyed in an order for some french fries and a Stony Creek Vanilla Porter.

posted 05-20-99 06:56 PM ET            

However, this is where HBG becomes slightly unusual, in that he is not your normal, average, every day, runn of the mill, nothing out of the ordinary, everything's normal, nothing to see here...

[unwashed masses] Is this going anywhere?

[Holographic Narrator] Oh, sorry, glitch int he 1s and 0s.

Anyway, as suggested, HBG was not your usual hologram. Being the original master of the strange force known only as NIM, BG was actually more of an apparition. You see, during the horrors of the Newbie wars, a young NIM Knight by the name of YIN turned to the dark side, and slew BG. But just before he did, HBG had turned to the evil Yin, and said:

"If you strike me down now, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

Yin, being utterly evil, and of course without heart, slew the unarmed BG, who suffered his first bout of unconscious disappearance, and, um, disappeared.

However, when he came back as a hologram, he discovered that he still enjoyed the powers of NIM, and in fact, through the forces of self-prophecy, had actually become more powerful than Yin could possibly imagine. This if course was tempered by the fact that Yin really had a very poor imagination, and couldn't imagine very much power at all, so in fact, HBG wasn't quite what he used to be, while still believing that he was an all powerful master of NIM.

So, deciding that he had to do something, he closed his eyes - which as a matter of interest did not have the side effect of making him disappear. HBG had indeed tested this extensively in front of a mirror, closing his eyes, and opening them very quickly to see if he could see himself not int he mirror, before he reappeared. This led to the very important theory of HBGs:

"If a hologram closes his eyes in a forest, after a bear wiped his arse on said hologram, would the **** still stick to said hologram". Professors the world 'round were still debating that one in fact.

So, to cut a long story short, HBG used NIM to take the tape from the recorder, then attracting a pocket of logic with stray thoughts of illogic, sent the tape spiralling into the puff of logic, which had no effect at all, seeing as the tape was in no way illogical.

"Damn" thought HBG, who proceeded to send the puff of logic scurrying, deposited the tape in a bin, and set it alight.

Special Agent Jsorense still being out to the world, though paradoxically, still very much in the world, HBG decided to head down to the caffeteria for some holographic nourishment.

Sitting down at a table with General YYYH, HLAC walked in and joined them, instantly drawing every eye, despite the fact that she was holographic, and it was not only her clothes, but her entire self that was slightly see through.

HBG, HLAC and YYYH sat down, and got to chatting about old times, the IIIS, Bos, CWAL, the Newbie wars, and multitudes of things inbetween.

And who should walk in, but the non-holographic DG, whom HBG hadn't seen since a long time ago, in a galaxy, far far away. "Hey, DG, how's things?" HBG queried...

After chatting for a while, catching up on old times, new times, and sort of intransigent times, DG asked the fated question about disappearances when unconscious.

HBG's head started to twitch violently from side to side, which caused HLAC to jump up, causing some rather distracting wobbles, and slap him over the back of the head with a patch that looked completely unlike, yet in a strange way very similar to, a holographic SuperProSMAC patch. This had the effect of instantly calming HBG, and causing HLAC to cast a vexated "What the hell did you have to ask that for" glance at the DG...

The DG just shrugged an appology, and began to study the patch on HBG. "Hey, what's this patch that looks completely unlike, yet in a strange way very similar to, a holographic SuperProSMAC patch"?

HBG, coming to himself...

[peurile unwashed masses] Haw, haw, coming to himself, geddit?

[Narrator] *groan*

posted 05-21-99 04:02 AM ET            

Name: Alphaman (people who can't be bothered to write that [like me] just call me Aman)

Last occupation: Slack jawed yokel of the SMAC forums.

References: Well people really like me a lot.
So you can just ask anyone.

Qualifications: Read volume 1 to 475 of Playsheep in one sitting. Frequent and tasteless use of profanities. Excessive moronic and highly stupid behaviour. I can push a pencil halfway up my nose. Duh, have I got the job yet? (that last bit is scribbled out)

Position desired: The big head guy in charge of stuff? If thats taken then I am a fully qualified kangaroo herder. Maybe I can work in the employee lounge. I cook a mighty fine wombat burger.

Compensation requirement: If you throw a peanut my way every now and again that should be fine. Actually I embezzled from all my previous employers goods and services to the value of $4,590 per week. (that is also scribbled out and next to it written 'sorry')

The entire form is barely legible and has drawings of naked sheep all over it. In the Sign Here space there is a large

"err, I'm finished" Aman said to the camera placed delicately near his groin area.

Within just hours Candy came in and took the form from him. "Just keep waiting here, someone will get back to you"

posted 05-21-99 02:46 PM ET            

"So, Brother Greg has come back, albeit in transcended holographic form. Amen to that. That may pose a sticky personnel problem though. How is MikeH, Acting Director of Pharmacology, going to respond to the return of Brother Greg, the most famous IIISer Pharnacologist of them all? Yumm, this frosting is excellent."

Picking himself up and brushing off most of the cake crumbs jsorense notices that his favorite videotape, "The Pharmacist Who Shagged Me" was smoldering in a waste bin.

"TANJ! I bet Brother Greg did that with his NIMological powers. Curses." Whined the ever-sniveling jsorense.
At that moment a vision more shocking than the apparition of Brother Greg walking through the wall stared at jsorense from all of the security monitors. How could it be? Could it be real? Is this some sort of cruel joke? Is this one more long list of stupid questions?
There on the screen was Venom. Yes, Venom, the IIIS' very first employee. Venom, the IIIS security guard who had set the standard for wanton violence that all subsequent officers had tried, and failed, to achieve. Venom, the person who kept order in the security barracks (the dumpster in back of the hazardous materials incinerator). Venom, who almost single-handedly, drank the CC Club out of business.

"What does Venom want with us now?" asked jsorense adding one more question to the total. Just then, the doorbell rang, "Ding Dong" and FedEx guy walks in.

posted 05-21-99 07:48 PM ET            

Exile: I just had a burst of inspiration...I could make a bunch of these and make a fortune!

(Exile runs off to the lab replicators to begin his Lightsaber business)

=============================================

posted 05-22-99 12:50 AM ET            

Aman: OK. I confess. I don't really have a sheep fetish. I'm not really a New Zealander. Its just that all those magazines in your waiting room got to me.

MikeH: Shut up.

Aman: Pleeeease stop inserting things into me. I'll do whatever you want.

MikeH: Anything?

Aman: YES!

MikeH: Well you see we are all SMAC fans and before you can become an employee of IIIS you must demonstrate how much you love Sid.

MikeH bows his head and mutters something.

Aman: Sid? Is that like a God or something?

MikeH: God? You fool. Sid wouldn't take such a reduction in status.

Aman: So what do you want me to do?

MikeH: You must go and bring proof that you have done great deeds in the name of Sid.

Aman: Can't I just serve burgers in the employee lounge?

MikeH: hmmm. Ok but you'll be on probation for an unspecified period. If we see any hair or nose pickings in our burgers your outta here, got it?

Aman: Yes sir. Can you pull this thing out of my ass now?

MikeH: No, I think we'll leave that there. Now get to work.

Aman stumbles out of the room with a large shiny implement hanging out of his ass. "These people are sadistic lunatics" he mutters as he pulls it out, rather painfully.

posted 05-23-99 07:03 PM ET            

"Whassup, BG?" queried YYYH.

"I feel a disturbance in the NIM, as if millions of voices cried out all at once, and were suddenly silenced. I feel a presence. A presence that I have not felt since..."

Jumping up from his chair, HBG ran off down the corridors, summoning the dreaded Holograms In Black (HIBs) to his side. For such a disturbance could mean only one thing. Somewhere, someone was slaughtering Kangeroos and wombats in the thousands.

Hang on, wait, that's not it, HBG thought. Venom, came the sudden thought into his mind...

HBG also made a mental note to himself to call a staff meeting, as he really needed to find out who was doing what, where, when, and to whom. He had no idea who was running the IIIS now, and if he even had a desk left, going by jsorense's plight. Though a strange recollection tickled his brain right then, about missing desks, dumpsters and jsorense.

Then there was MikeH, his once able assistant, torturer of subjects, and all around good guy. What had become of him, HBG wondered, and why hadn't MikeH been returning his holograms?

Also, he realised, since when had the IIIS even had a lab in Sydney, his home town? And what the hell were playsheep posters doing everywhere, hastily tacked over posters of the missing desk?

This place really needs a shake-up, thought HBG, and I know just the person to do it. HLAC. Yes, she'd quickly sort out the troublemakers, and get to the root of the problem.

[unwashed masses] Tee, hee, "Root" of the problem, get it? Hee hee...

[Narrator] Oh, gads, someone save me, please...

In the distance, a shot is heard, and another writer attempts some amateur new age art by spraying his brains all over the wall behind his desk.

posted 05-24-99 06:38 PM ET            

HBG proceeded to wave a SuperproSMAC patch under Venom's nose, but it had little discernable effect. This was perhaps caused by the fact that Venom seemed to be covered in such patches, including the inside of his mouth and ears.

"Hmmm, SMACerdosed" HBG thought to himself.

Turning to a HIB, and utterly failing to notice the gross distortion and misplacement of body parts, HBG ordered it to find MikeH and jsorense, and get here ASAP.

Turning around and muttering to himself, HBG noticed that MikeH had indeed finally returned one of his holograms, as his holographic hologram wrist projector flashed "message received from MikeH". However, there was no time for that, HBG would have to see what he could do with Venom first.

Noticing a faint pulse, HBG applied a holographic alphaSMACXApheine patch to Venom's eyeball, the one place not covered in SuperproSMAC patches. This caused Venom to quiver and froth at the mouth a little, but he did open his eyes briefly. Unfortunately, his gaze travelled past HBG's shoulders, and upon sighting the misformed HIBs with his one good eye, and thinking that he was blind int he other, proceeded to faint straight away again.

Looking around, HBG noticed the HIBs for the first time, and after noting the grusome effects that could be produced for later test cases, he banished them to the ethers. Or wherever it is that Holograms go when they are banished. In fact, one noted scientist had recently theorised that banished holograms travelled to the fifth dimension, which was in fact the hologram dimension, and strangely enough, also theorised as the place that missing socks go when they disappear from the wash.

It was further theorised that the holograms were there hording socks, in plans of one making huge profits. Or as one of them put it in their genius of business planning:

"Phase one: collect socks. Phase two: (long, drawn out silence). Phase three: profits".

But of course, none of this had ever been proven, and really didn't effect the narrative in any way, other than potentially answering the question of why holograms always wear different coloured socks.

[unwashed masses] Ah, stick a sock in it. Geddit? Haw, haw...

[UNIVERSE] WHAT?

[unwashed masses] Er, nevermind...

posted 05-25-99 06:41 PM ET            

He didn't realise that was going on, but it was as if someone had opened a Deck of Many Things, and the random effects were effecting HBG.

Suddenly scenes from a randomly selected CTP game started playing through HBG's head. This of course had the immdeiate effect of paralysing the entire left side of his holographic brain, and 90% of the right side, while causing his image to undergo some rather unusual effects.

The 10% that was working wondered if this was some sort of deliberate sabotage, just before crawling into a holographic corner to whimper...

After an indeterminate amount of time, scenes from Manchester United winning an unprecedented treble of titles, including the European Champion's League started flashing through HBG's brain. But the crappy interface of CTP fought back against the sublime passing of Keane, a televangelist converted Ferguson, and a slaver put Beckham in chains.

Jsorense, watching the action via his decoder ring yelled at Agnes "Agnes, this isn't supposed to be happening, what in the name of witchety grubs is going on?"

But Agnes was fighting her own fight, unbeknownst to the heroic duo of MikeH and jsorense, and was unable to answer.

It was looking grim. 5 minutes to go, the game poised at 1-1, with ManU's best players out of action, and the coach a blubbering religious fanatic. But from out of nowhere came Giggs, crippled so that he could barely walk, flying a Chaos Chopper to blow CTP into the back of the net with an awesome barrage.

HBG slumped to the floor, momentarily stunned as his brain was restored to his control for the first time in minutes. And yet, ringing in his ears for days to come was the song:
Glory, glory, Man United!
Glory, glory, Man United!
Glory, glory, Man United!
Those reds go marching on! On! ON!

Which, strangely enough, with a few minor alterations, was also the theme song of South Sydney, HBG's local Rugby League team.

posted 05-25-99 09:23 PM ET            

Carny finds the nearest dirty washroom, and begins scrubbing, while scrubbing he whistles a little tune. It went something like this... Da Daaa Daaa Du Daaa Daaa Daaa Duu Daaa Daaa Daaa (the Canadian anthem, for those of you that don't understand daaa du daaa )
at the same time jsorense was walking in by the washroom, hearing a familiar tune, but not quite remembering what it was....

posted 05-26-99 09:13 AM ET            

A few minutes later, as HBG writhes in holographic agony and Venom twitches on the floor, The DG appears out of thin air, ready to strike down any CTP Forces that may have found their way into the Dumpster Zone.

He is clad in Terminator armor blazoned with the til-now thought lost heraldry of the 1st company of the Human Resourse Kommandoes, and bearing seals of devotion to Imperator Sid.

In his left hand is a master-crafted storm bolter, and his right is sheathed in a lighting claw. about his head blazes the cleansing light of NIM.

posted 05-26-99 02:13 PM ET            

All of a sudden large men in big armor begin to storm through the room. Fearing his job and not wishing to anger his boss (who keeps butting his cigarettes out on Aman's face) he decides to do nothing and just keeps cooking up delicious 'endangered marsupial' soup.

posted 05-26-99 11:57 PM ET            

"Anyone have any idea of what just happened then? It felt peculiarly like SMACA, yet phrases kept passing through my mind like 'XCAMS', 'III VIC' and 'emiT fo peewS ehT'"...

posted 05-28-99 03:50 PM ET            

HBG, using the power of NIM, raised the helpless Venom from the floor and headed for the nearest first aid station.
"jsorense, have Candy and Roxanne meet us there. STAT! MikeH, will you assist in the operation?" boomed the slightly overpowered holographic projection.
"Right." Said jsorense.
"Right." Said MikeH.
"Turn down the volume." Said everyone else.

With the holographic crisis in the Dumpster Zone contained our intrepid gang begins to wander back towards the IIIS commissary for a nourishing snack of wombat burgers, wichity grubs and koala shakes. As they pass one of the many spotless washrooms jsorense hears a familiar tune. .". Da Daaa Daaa Du Daaa Daaa Daaa Duu Daaa Daaa Daaa."

posted 06-02-99 01:45 AM ET            

Fort Sid? will this require battle training, or will my wit and charm be enough?