Author Topic: benschwab's skits  (Read 1063 times)

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Offline benschwab

benschwab's skits
« on: July 22, 2015, 06:26:49 PM »
Game Night On Chiron

;santi;  So what are we playing tonight?
;lal;  How ‘bout Alpha Centauri?
;miriam;  We always play that.
;lal;  It’s not like there’s a lot of seven player games.
;deidre;  Lal, dear, let’s just play something else to make her happy.
;miriam;  Thank you.
;zak;  Yeah, but then what are we going to play?
;santi;  We could always have a free for all wrestling match… :-)
;deidre; ;yang; ;zak; ;morgan; ;miriam; ;lal;  NO!
;santi;  You never want a free for all wrestling match… :-(
;morgan;  Face it.  Alpha Centauri is the best pick.
;zak;  Well we should pick something before the <shudder>others</shudder> get here.
;yang;  I have the solution.  Lal and I will play twilight struggle while the rest of you will play Axis and Allies.
;santi;  How predictable.
;lal;  I’m game.
;miriam;  Why does nobody want to play Settlers of Canaan?
;zak;  I keep telling you, no stupid religious knockoffs.
;miriam; .U.
;deidre;  This is the simplest way to do things.
;zak;  All-right, okay.
;santi;  I call Germany.
;morgan;  As long as I get Japan.
;zak;  Russia of course.
;deidre;  Which one do you want?
;miriam; ugh… I’ll take the US.
;lal;  Dibs on the the USSR.
;ulrik;  Are we too late?
« Last Edit: July 31, 2015, 05:35:44 PM by benschwab »
"Can't we all just get along?" - Dominar Benjamin the... uh... first, Pleading to the Other Faction Leaders.

Offline benschwab

Re: benschwab's skits
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2015, 06:02:41 PM »
Dealing With The Heat On Chiron

;lal;  It's hot, it's hot, it's hot, it's hot
;morgan;  I must agree with Lal.  I'm sweating way to much for a man of my stature.
;ulrik;  You should come in here; the water's fine.
;santi;  Poor weak Peacekeeper and Morganite.  Not enough of your creature comforts?
;yang;  You know the others, colonel, they have no tolerance for being uncomfortable.
;caretake;  I don't know what you're complaining about.  It's too cold in here.
;marr;  I Will CRUSH The Cold!!!
;domai;  I don't understand.  Aren't we under the dome.
;zak;  I'm fixing it as fast as I can.  You know I don't work quickly in this heat.
;santi;  Do you know what would take our minds off of the heat?
;lal;  Not again...
;santi;  Well it would.
;ulrik;  I bet 50 credits you can't take me in here.
;santi;  Oh!  You're on... *splash*
;roze;  Did you know that there is an entire other hemisphere that is currently in winter?
;miriam;  Yes, thank you Roze...
;aki;  I don't know why you don't simply shed those garments.  More exposed skin means a cooler body temperature.
;domai;  Do you have to be so obvious about it.  Some of those... enhancements... really freak me out to look at.
;yang;  Don't criticize Aki Zeta-5 just because she is a superior human specimen.
;aki;  Back off Yang.  I'm not interested in your disgusting biological rituals.
;morgan;  My offer still stands, Aki.
;aki;  @.@
;morgan;  Not enough?  I'll increase it by 10%.
;aki;  No!
;lal;  Well, it just got hotter.  Deirdre entered the room.
;deidre;  Settle down.  It's too hot for that.
;miriam;  Couldn't one of you two... three... put on some underwear at-least.
;deidre;  Don't be such a prude Miriam.  Lal and I appreciate all natural beauty.
;zak;  Well that should fix it.
;morgan;  I already feel better, Doctor.
;miriam;  Yes, thank you, Zak.
--fizzle, fizzle, KA-BOOM--
;zak;  Ohh no... not again!
"Can't we all just get along?" - Dominar Benjamin the... uh... first, Pleading to the Other Faction Leaders.

Offline benschwab

Re: benschwab's skits
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2015, 03:58:41 PM »
The Alpha Centauri Players Present Star Trek

;lal;  Captain's Log... Stardate... 1966.090... 8... The Enterprise...  is on... route
;roze;  Incoming transmission Captain.
;cha;  No not yet.  Lal hasn't finished his opening monologue.
;lal; to the... Aspartame System.
;roze; sorry, I'll wait...
;lal; on a... mission... of mer... cey
;lal; Lieutenant Scott... full power... to the warp... drives.
;zak;  *sigh* I can't do it captain.  I can't reach the controls.
;cha;  Now.
;roze;  What?  Oh right.  Incoming transmission Captain.
;lal;  From... ... ... where?
;roze;  From... umm.... where?
;yang;  The transmission is originating from dead ahead captain.
;lal;  All... stop.
;roze;  We're stopping?
;morgan;  Reading all stop.
;lal;  On the main viewer.
;roze;  The what?
;morgan;  Why does Lal get to be the captain?  I bought all of this afterall.
;cha;  The vid screen, Roze.  Lal is planetary governor, he gets first choice on all of the parts.  You know that.
;aki;  We are the Borg.  We are here to help.  Rejection would be foolish.
;cha;  The borg aren't in this series.  You're supposed to be the Romulans.
;aki;  What?  Any Star Trek that doesn't have the Borg isn't worth recreating.
;cha;  Just stay on script.
;aki;  If I cannot play the Borg Queen why should I take part in this inferior exercise?
;cha;  Fine, bring in the Klingons.
;domai;  Intruder alert, Captain.
;cha;  That's not you're cue.
;ulrik;  Arr, I'm here to plunder your booty.
;miriam;  You will do no such thing!
;lal;  Quick... Security to the... bridge.
;ulrik;  Avast! Give me all yarn doubloons.
;santi;  Security here, I'll take care of him.
;roze;  Sir, I'm receiving a transmission from the... who?
;cha;  It doesn't matter anymore...
;ulrik;  Prepare to walk yon plank ye scallywags.
;roze;  ... who was it again?
;santi;  What?
;roze;  Or right, the Klingons.
;ulrik;  I said I'm going to kill you.  This is how pirates talked back on earth.
;roze;  Putting the Klingons on the vidscreen.  Oh this is fun.
;santi;  Oh okay.  Today is a good day to kill.
;marr;  I Will CRUSH The Earthlings!
;caretake;  The federation, "brother".
;marr;  I Will CRUSH The Earthlings' Federation!
;caretake;  Close enough.
;deidre;  I'm sure there's no need for violence.
;ulrik;  Take that.
;deidre;  Oh, I'm dead.
;lal;  Yoman...  Noooooooo...  ooooooo... oooooo...
;santi;  I will avange ye, Redshirt!  (Is that right?)
;lal;  ooooo...
;caretake;  Firing main particle impactors.
;marr;  I Will CRUSH The Particle Impactors!
;caretake;  That's us, sir...
;marr;  I Will CRUSH Them Anyway!  I Am INVINCIBLE!
;morgan;  evasive pattern B.
;domai;  Should I return fire captain?
;lal;  ...oooooo...
;yang;  Fire main phasers, ensign.
;domai;  Firing phasers.
;marr;  NOOOO!!!!  USURPER SMASH!!!!
 ;deidre; ;yang; ;zak; ;morgan; ;santi; ;miriam; ;lal; ;caretake; ;cha; ;aki; ;domai; ;roze; ;ulrik;  Ahhhhh!  Run away!  Run Away!
"Can't we all just get along?" - Dominar Benjamin the... uh... first, Pleading to the Other Faction Leaders.

 

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