posted 11-16-98 08:51 PM ET        

International House of CWAL, Part 1

The Hum-Vee drove up the street, and halted at the curb. Two people got out, and headed towards a clearing which up until a few days ago had not been a clearing. One of them, the one wearing the flight helmet, fell to his knees and began digging through the rubble.
"Fjorxc, give it up," the other person said. "There's no way anything in HQ could have survived. The BoS levelled it with everything they had."
"I don't care!" Fjorxc shot back. "It's here, I know it is! I gotta find it!" He dug through the twisted pieces of metal and concrete and throwing them aside, taking no heed of the damage he was causing to the skin on his hands. When he came upon an especially large and heavy concrete slab, he had a sinking sensation in his gut. Taking a deep breath, he heaved the slab aside, and the view which greeted him brought him to tears.
Underneath that concrete slab, crushed and mangled by the extreme pressures placed upon it, lay the smoking, twisted remnants of a Betamax. Beside it were the charred wrecks of cassette tapes. One of them said "Alf", another "Captain N", another, "The New Thundercats"...
"NOOOO! It's not fair! It's not fair!" Fjorxc sobbed. "Spare the Betamax! Take me instead!" he wailed, as he threw himself down onto the Betamax's casing. After a few minutes of letting tears flow, he stood up, with a murderous glint in his eyes.
"The Brotherhood of Sid killed the Betamax," Fjorxc said, almost mechanically. "The Brotherhood of Sid must die."
"No, Forksy, don't!" Freerunner said. "I know, I'd like to strangle Talon and YYYH myself for what they did, but you can't let it take control of you! Besides, we signed a peace treaty with them."
"What's your point?" Fjorxc asked, still sobbing.
"My point is that we're new here. We have almost no strength whatsoever. At our current level of preparedness, the BoS could wipe us out with nothing more than seventeen Nerf Crossbows."
"Yeah. And plus, we no longer have a headquarters," Fjorxc said, as he resumed digging through the rubble. "Look at this, it's part of Aura's wardrobe," he said, as he pulled a very expensive-looking outfit out of the rubble. "Whoa, there isn't a scratch on it. Maybe if we're lucky, this'll cheer up Aura enough so that she doesn't go on a manic killing spree within the ranks of BoS. Her entire wardrobe was in here, you know."
"Why's that so bad?" Freerunner asked.
"Well, first off, hell hath no fury like a woman whose entire wardrobe has been vaporized. Do you have any idea how much was on her credit card?"
"Didn't she say it was something like the national debt of the United States added to the square root of the distance to Alpha Centauri in inches?" Freerunner asked.
"Yeah, somethin' like that," Fjorxc said, as he whipped out his calculator. After making a few calculations, he arrived at an answer. "That's about 1.24 times 10 to the 15th power US dollars."
"But there isn't that much money on the entire planet," Freerunner observed.
"A minor detail." Fjorxc brushed off his dust-covered hands on his legs, and stood up. "Well, I believe we're going to need a new headquarters now. Right?"
"You have the most amazing talent for stating the obvious, Forksy. And yes. We'll need a new headquarters," Freerunner replied.
"OK then, what to use, what to use..." Fjorxc stopped and thought for a moment. "Starbucks? Nah, too reminiscent of Irvine. Hardee's? No way, the ultmate evil. Or maybe..."
"Hey, why don't we check out that IHOP over there?" Freerunner asked.
"Yes! An IHOP! Of course! Coffee AND pancakes in the morning! Freerunner, you're a genius!"
"Thank you. But before we actually start on acquiring that IHOP, don't you think we should find some money to get it with?"
"Hmm..." Fjorxc's gaze drifted down to Aura's very expensive outfit, which glittered as the sun reflected off of it. "Hey, I've got an idea..."
"No, Forksy, we are NOT going to sell Aura's outfit."
"Of course we aren't! You think I'm that stupid? I've got something special planned..."

The doors to the IHOP swung open, and in walked Fjorxc and Freerunner. Jolt was accompanying them, as he had conveniently materialized among the remains of the Denny's to satisfy an idea of the narrator's.
"Now, you remember the drill. I give the owner the outfit, and then you do what we talked about," Fjorxc whispered to Freerunner.
"Gotcha," she said, as she went off and waited by the doors. Unbeknownst to Fjorxc or Freerunner, Jolt had wandered off and happened upon a man sitting in a booth. There were two cups in front of him, each holding what looked like coffee. Jolt recognized this man as Victor, who had come into Denny's about a week before muttering something about CWAL.
Jolt was walking past Victor's booth when his arm trailed over the table, knocking the contents of the two cups onto his arm, seperated by only a few millimeters.
"Eew, I got coffee on my arm!" Jolt grabbed a napkin off of Victor's table, and began wiping down his arm. As Victor gave him a passing glance, he noticed that Jolt was very close to wiping up both stains.
"Oh ****!" Victor screamed, when he realized what was happening. "You're about to bring caffeine into contact with anticaffeine! Everybody DOWN!"
"Huh?" Jolt asked absentmindedly. Shrugging, he wiped both the stains off his arm and stood there, waiting for something to happen.
Nothing happened.
Still nothing happened.
Look, I said nothing happened! Isn't that good enough for you???
Then, something happened. The caffeine and anticaffeine stains on the napkin seemed to mix together. When they came in contact, they seemed to start to boil, in preparation for releasing a massive amount of energy.
"Eeep!"
Outside of the IHOP, all was peaceful. The occasional car drove by, a BoS aircraft periodically swept overhead, and squirrels and chipmunks frolicked on the walls and window ledges. If they had looked inside, they would have noticed Jolt turn quite sick at the prospect of dying again.
*BOOM!*
*CRASH!*
*SHATTER!*
*SPLAT!*
*EVERYONE VISIT WWW.ALLHAILLOTHOSFORHEISAGODAMONGMEN.COM!*
*YEEEARGH!*
While a caffeine/anticaffeine reaction is generally believed to produce far less energy than a matter/antimatter reaction, scientists the world over agree that it still produces one hell of a bang nonetheless. The initial shock wave blew Jolt's arms, legs, and head off, shattered windows in a 200-meter radius, and produced a sound audible in Baltimore with ultra-sensitive listening devices. Then the explosion, small as it was, expanded outwards. Fortunately, due to the relatively small amounts of caffeine and anticaffeine involved, it didn't have much of an effect.
Meanwhile, Fjorxc was oblivious to all this as he stood in the purchasing line. When his turn came up, he stepped up to this register and said, "Hello there. Would you be interested in a trade?"
"Uhh, I don't think so," the pimply-faced kid from the Simpsons replied. "I'll have to ask my manager." The pimply-faced kid ran off, and brought the manager back quickly.
"Hello, what are you talking about?" the manager asked.
"Well, looking around, I couldn't help but notice that your franchise has just sustained severe blast damage for some reason. And I was interested in taking it off your hands."
"What? You want to buy the place?"
"That's right. How much you want?"
"Fifteen thousand dollars," the manager said.
"Well then, have I got a deal for you! If you give me this IHOP, I will give you this exquisite, very expensive outfit. It's priceless, almost."
Normally the manager would rebuke an offer such as this, but the narrator, getting impatient and wanting to move the story along, took control of the manager's mind and took the situation into his own hands.
"Why..certainly..I..will..trade..you..for..the..IHOP," the mind-controlled manager said, rather mechanically.
"OK, here ya go," Fjorxc said, as he passed the outfit over the counter. "Pleasure doin' business with ya."
"It..was..a..pleasure..doing..business..with..you..as..well." And at that, the manager lurched out from behind the counter and towards the door.
"Freerunner! Do it!" Fjorxc whispered.
"Excuse me sir," Freerunner said, stopping the manager.
"Yes..what..is..it..miss?"
"Well, I couldn't help but notice you've got one of those really expensive outfits. It looks nice, it really does."
"Why..thank..you."
"But take a look at it, it's all folded and creased and dirty. You wouldn't want that, would you?"
"Of..course..not."
"Wouldn't you much rather have this nice, crisp, new ten dollar bill? Of course you would. Here you go," she said, as she placed the $10 in the manager's palm and took the outfit.
"Thank..you..it..was..a..pleasure..doing..business..with..you." The manager then left the store, followed by the rest of the patrons, including Victor, who had decided to go and resume his search for CWAL. After a little while, the narrator ceased his mind control of the manager, who snapped back to his senses.
"Hey, what am I doing out here? What happened? Hey, cool! Ten bucks!" The manager then looked around, and wandered off down the road.
"Well, very good work, Forksy," Freerunner said, who was looking out the window.
"Thanks. Hey, wait a sec...where's Jolt?"
"I would guess in Irvine, because he usually respawns there." Almost the instant Freerunner closed her mouth, a loud noise came from the bathroom. This was followed by Jolt running out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind him.
"Hmm. Maybe it has something to do with the teleporter," Freerunner surmised.
"Maybe. Hey, you know what I just realized? We should actually go and buy defenses for HQ this time, so the BoS won't come and level it again."
"Good idea. But where could we get weapons of the grade we need? Not even Bob sells guns like that."
"You're right, he doesn't. But fortunately for me, I know someone who does."

The proprietor of the stor sat on a stool behind a counter, photosynthesizing a meal from a discarded tanning lamp while flipping through the latest edition of "Playprotoss". When he heard the door-opening bell chime, he immediately stood up and tossed the magazine into a corner, where it landed on top of several thousand other copies.
"Hey there, Forks!" the proprietor said.
"Hey, Exile. Don't be offended if I seem a bit irritable or anything. It's a long way from Hunt Valley to Houston, and my Betamax and the Perfect Wall got destroyed."
"Geez, sounds pretty bad," Exile said. "Say, you still need to sign fifty thousand new Orca replicas."
"Huh? Oh yeah, for your catalog thing. What're you making them out of, anyway? It must be some pretty cheap stuff, if you can afford to sell them for fifteen hundred bucks."
"Mainly old Coke and Pepsi cans painted yellow. Actually, one out of ten thousand is a real Orca. It gives a sense of competition. Boosts sales that way."
"Hmm, I'll bet. Listen Exile, I need to talk to you about purchasing some weapons?"
"Weapons?" Exile asked. "Well then, I'm your man, er, Protoss! We've got everything here at the ExileMart! Antimatter missiles, Gauss rifles, psi blades, everything! And from Exile Labs, we've got the new line of Storm Stars, and the latest version of the Ni Torpedo! Want me to check my price list?"
"Not really, but I have the feeling that you'll do it anyway."
"Damn straight!" Exile replied. "Now let me see...I can sell you thirty-five wings of the new TIE Defender for $5 million...thirty-five thousand laser cannons for $10 million...or thirty thousand turbolasers for $15 million."
"Thanks Exile, but I've already written down what I need. Let me see here..."
"Say, what's this for anyway? You goin' off and forming a mercenary group?"
"Nah. CWAL's started a new branch in Hunt Valley, and I need to buy some defenses for HQ. It's an IHOP."
"Ah. May I just suggest buying one Imperial-class Star Destroyer along with all its needed Stormtroopers and TIE fighters?"
"We don't need THAT much," Fjorxc said, as he continued rooting through his pockets.
"Okaay then, one standard Imperial garrison base close to the IHOP should keep ya happy," Exile said. "Lessee, it comes with TIE fighters, stormtroopers, scout troopers, 1 AT-AT, and 5 AT-STs."
"No, that's all right, Exile. All we really need is some semi-automatic particle cannons and AP lasers. For now."
"Awww, you're no fun. OK, I'll have them to you by Monday, but you need to get $50,000 to me by the 25th. I was gonna throw in a free Death Star too...oh well."
"Only fifty thousand? No prob, Exile!"
"Like I said before, you're a friend of mine. Just tell all your friends who need weapons of destruction that aren't as insanely powerful as Maggottonian designs but aren't weak either about ExileMart! Open 24 hours a day! Galactic Selections Abound!"
"Thanks a lot, Exile. Hopefully these'll keep the BoS at bay."
"BoS? Whazzat?"
"The Brotherhood of Sid."
"Oh yeah, those militiant dudes. They're pretty cool. Well, I gotta go and process your order now, so see ya later. I'll have those weapons installed by Monday night."
"Okay then, Exile," Fjorxc said. "See ya later." Without another word, Fjorxc exited the ExileMart, powered up the Orca's engines and zoomed back to Hunt Valley.

"QUICK! FREERUNNER! I NEED FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS BY THIS FRIDAY!"
"Calm down, Forksy...what?" Freerunner asked a hyperventilating Fjorxc.
"I just flew down to Houston and bought a bunch of base defenses off of Exile! I thought I had fifty thousand dollars in the bank, but then I remembered I spent them on Betamax tapes!"
"Yep, that is a wee bit of a problem, Forksy."
"A wee bit? A WEE BIT?" Fjorxc started hyperventilating even more. "This is way beyond 'wee bit'! This is 'scared s**tless'! You think I want Exile's goons after me?"
"Yes, that would be a bad thing indeed. So what should we do? Got any ideas on how to raise some money?"
"Hmm..."
About twenty minutes later, Fjorxc was standing atop a cardboard box, wearing the type of hat that people who have games on the midway of the CNE wear and screaming into a megaphone. "Come one, come all! See Jolt, the Amazing Cannon Fodder! You tickle him, he laughs! You prick him, he bleeds! You cut his head off, he reappears within five seconds! Come one, come all!" Fjorxc's advertising gambit had worked, and there was now a moderate-sized crowd standing in front of the tree to which Jolt was chained.
"All right little boy," Freerunner was saying to the next person in line, "you just take this gun here, point it at Mr. Jolt's head, and press this trigger here. Don't worry, you technically won't hurt him." The boy spent a minute or so lining up his shot, then depressed the trigger. A stream of bullets flew towards Jolt's head in slow motion, and transformed everything above his neck to bloody pulp. In a few seconds, Jolt conveniently respawned in the exact same location.
"That'll be five dollars," Freerunner said.
"Wow, that was neat! Thanks a lot!" The kid paid up, and ran off.
"Heheheh...NEXT!"
"Come one, come all!" Fjorxc continued to yell. "Decapitate him, shoot him, cut off his legs, it won't matter! He likes it! Remember folks, he will always come back, and it's still perfectly legal!"
Several hours later, Fjorxc and Freerunner were sulking in the Hunt Valley jail.
"'Perfectly legal', Forksy?" Freerunner asked.
"Shut up. How was I to know that they'd interpret the charges that way?"

To be continued whenever I feel like finishing it.

Fjorxc the Maniac(CWAL Hunt Valley)
May the Fjorxc be with you and a happy new year.

posted 11-16-98 09:13 PM ET            

"Copy that YYYH, fast attackers are gonna level all CWAL resistance." Talon said happily.

The planes zipped ahead at top speed toward Hunt Valley. YYYH barely heard the voice from under the loud music.

"Sir, sir!! SIR!!"the Corporal driving the tank tried vainly to scream, "sir!!!! SIR!!!'

"WHAT?!?!?!" I screamed back

"Sir, do you wanna change the song, I think they're immune to the Spice Girls now," the corporal screamed as 'Wannabe' came to an end,"our men are also getting a bit irritated, even with their earplugs!"

"Damn, you're right, & the UN's been watching me like a hawk too. Ok, put on some psychological warfare." I said before the next SG's song came on.

I looked toward CWAL/HV HQ to see a bustling of activity as Talon's planes tore apart the Starbucks, the Citgo gas station, & the Toy-R-Us. Suddenly YYYH jumps as he hears the new music come on. "Charge of the Valkyrie" starts playing. The deep beating, & ominous sound of the song seem to frighten the CWALers off in the distance, as YYYH notices through his binoculars. He looks up to see Talon's planes falling back & regrouping, after no signifigant damage seemed to take place to CWAL.

Continued when I'm bored & need something to do........

posted 11-16-98 09:55 PM ET            

Derek looked at his surroundings with glee. 'It's a wonderful life,' he thought. He bent over and began to chew some grass. If you were thinking that Derek was perhaps not the smartest kid on the block, you'd be wrong, for the 90s he actually had average intelligence. He was however, not the most commonsenseful (so how would you put it, eh?) kid around. 'This grass sure it lovely,' he thought to himself.

Suddenly, from behind him he heard a rustling, he turned as fast as his feet would allow him, he couldn't see anyone there. Forgetting about the sound, he turned back to his food. Then from behind him he heard "Now!"
This was followed by "Shut up Cydric!"
'Hmm, that nothing is talking!' Derek thought and carried on chewing.
"Alright, now!"

Derek turned around as a pair of brown, sticky masses surged up through the ground, he couldn't see them very clearly because his eyesight wasn't very good. The next moment he felt a claw peircing his back and just as a dozen rows of serrrated teeth were about to tear through his jugular, he said his last word. "Baa!" Derek said.

"Only one sheep? The men aren't going to be very happy...." Cydric said to the other figure.
"It is their fault for scaring them away, tell them to go to one of the large population centers again for lunch." The figure replied.
"Mmmmm, takeaway," Cydric replied
The next second a sickle-shaped claw fell down onto Cydric's head. "Sorry, sire! I'll tell them now." Cydric wandered off.

The other figure picked up the sheep and began to eat it raw. He was Ravil, Hunter-Killer Hydralisk and leader of the Zerg Canadian swarm. "Bring some back for me!" He yelled, his mouth full, then went back to his meal.

*****

Cydric traipsed through the laybrinth carved through the ground beneath Calgary; being a defiler, he couldn't move very fast. Most of the other inhabitants of the Labyrinth kept a slight difference, you would to if you saw a walking cancer factory. Finally he reached a room, where a small Canuckalisk was perched.

"Greetings, Chancellor Cydric," said Turtletoo, general of the Canuckalisks, his face illuminated by a cuban cigar, though quite how he got it was unknown.
"Tell the men we're going to hit the town again and to get several doggy bags full for Ravil."
Turtle grinned and licked his lips. "What are we waiting for?"

*****

Elmer Fudd aimed his shotgun at the mound of earth approaching him. Turning his face towards you (yes, that's right! YOU are in this story), he whispered, "Be vewy, vewy qwiet! I'm hunting wabbits."
"Ow! Sofie!" was heard from under the ground.
"This is messy work, we need to take a break," came a second
"I agree," said the first.
"Fine!" came an angry 3th voice, "if we are too late and that yoyo manages to destroy CWAL it's not my fault!"

Elmer Fudd looked as the mound came to a stop, then the top burst open and a horrifying sight leapt out of it. He found himself staring into row after row of jagged, vicious teeth. He said the first thing that came to mind. "AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!" Then he ran away as fast as his 2D legs would carry him.

"It was much easier to make friend in our old bodies," Jasmine said.
Moans of aggreement came from Sofie and Sassy as they sat down and started to lick themselves clean.

***** 4 Hours later *****

Sofielisk was finishing off some poor tall rabbit they had found "Mmm, that's good eating," she said.
"Well, lets go..." Sassy said.
"Yep, lets get it over with," Jasmine moaned
"Why do I get the feeling you don't approve of my taste in men?" Sofie said.
"I don't approve of him because he is a bloodthirsty, world domination obesessed, cruel heartless beast!" Jasmine groaned
"That.. and his breath smells decicedly of cottage cheese."
"Well, I think he's cute!"

Sofielisk turned round and began to walk, before them the land suddenly sprung out before them as they realised they were standing on a plateau. "Almost there, just a few more steps," Sofie said, moving along the edge of the plateau.
"Here!" Sassy yelled.

Sofielisk turned to the ground and tugged at the earth. a few seconds later it collapsed revealing a tunnel. She dived in and sealed it up behind them, then they began to walk, slowly, north.

*****

Ravil was in his lair, doing what all Hunter-killer Hydralisk's do in their spare time... Knitting. You see, they have clawed appendages that make perfect knitting needles, as a result they are perfect for both that task and the task of mindless carnage. Ravil looked at it, it was a pretty looking dress, all icky-flesh in colour. This was when he felt 2 claws covering his eyes.

"Guess who" Sofie said
"Sofie!" Ravil yelled excitedly
"Wrong, try again!" Jasmine said.
"But thank you for playing," was Sassy's comment, in her best game show host voice.
Ravil ignored the other two personalities, he looked at the sweater and handed it to Sofielisk. "For you!"
"It's lovely, it's disgusting, it's alrigh," said the 3 personalities, merging the sentence into one long statement.
"Listen Ravil... My Spinepartner... You literal ladykiller you!" Sofie said, causing Ravil to blush (in Hydralisk terms, he became a bright shade of blue).
"Snookums, we couldn't possibly borrow some items from you could we?"

*****

Aura and a gigantic mound of new clothes wandered into the International House of CWAL. "I wonder where Fjorxc and Freerunner got to," Aura inquired.
"Mmmph mmph" Said the mound of clothes.
"Yes, Laeryn, just put them down over there and get the next pile," Aura said, absentmindedly.

Laeryn placed them in a corner and went out to get the next batch. Just then, a radio around Aura's belt burst into life. Aura reached for it, but fumbled and it slid under a desk. She put her hand under and started trying to get at it.

".... This is Sofie, we have managed to get hold of 10,000 tonnes of substance X. We are ready to use it against The Brotherhood of Sid..."
"No SOFIE!" screamed Aura. "We signed a peace treaty with them!"
"..... We borrowed a Protoss Arbiter Vessel which should be entering Hunt Valley within 10 seconds, they will proceed to recall substance X and liberally spread it over Hunt Valley..."
"SOFIE!" Aura screamed and finally grabbed the radio.
"...over..."
Aura screamed into the radio, "Sofie, STOOOOOPPPPPPP!" Just as a shadow fell over Hunt Valley, Aura dashed out to see a gigantic Protoss vessel, then all of a sudden there was a bright blue glow. "Laeryn, get inside the HQ at once!" Aura screamed.

*****

Imran Saddiqui and YoYoYoHey (from hereon in referred to as 1 and 2 respectively since I get cramp from typing their names.) stood opposite each other on the street."So... You think you are hard enough to take away the BoS from me!" 1 bellowed.
"If I don't to this then my name isn't 2!" 2 Shouted.

They both reached for guns as a blue light filled the street, then an awful stench filled the air and they looked up at the sky.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" 1 and 2 screamed together.

*****

The newsreporter sat down and began to read "Our top story tonight! 10,000 tons of Canuckalisk crap mysteriously appeared on top of Hunt Valley; reports indicate that Road travel is nearly impossible as any vehicle attempting to move will find its engines clogged by the crap.
"As for details about the crap, we aren't exactly sure. It may or may not be radioactive... when we put a geiger muller counter near it, the counter exploded, when we attempted to measure toxicity the meter evaporated and it may or may not be edible, but when Jolt ate it he turned into a goat.
"Reorts indicate that currently there are 2,500 people incapacitated by the smell, which is being carried to all neighboring cities and that a further 2,000 have recently developed Compulsive Showering disorder. Worse still, this had to happen on the Janitor's day off!"

The CWAlers turned off the TV and stared at Sofielisk. "How were we supposed to know we'd signed a peace treaty?" Sofie asked, offended.
"At least we brought back some reinforcements," Jasmine said, pointing behind her, to where a trio of Canuckalisks were romping happily with some less than happy customers.

The CWALers looked at her unhappily. "We're going to stand over here now," said Jasmine and Sofielisk walked off to evade the angered friends...

"Well one good thing came out of this..." Freerunner said, ever the optimist, "That attack by yoyo and Talon came to a halt ... No way can anyone launch a serious attack in this stuff..."

*****

Yoyo emerged from his shower his bathroom was flooded, the canuckalisk crap that had covered him had clogged the drains. He began silently plotting a way to get back at CWAL.

*****

posted 11-16-98 10:11 PM ET            

"Drive through it sir?" My second in command, Colonel K'nownothing said.

"Damn strait drive through, it'll clog up our engines trying to drive over that mess! Now get the miners & sappers ready to dig some tunnels through." I said

"Ok sir, but this is just buying CWAL precious time!" Colonel K'nownothing yelled at me.

"Yeah I know, that's why they did it. See if we can't get some well placed plasma charges on their HQ, which is apparently an IHOP there. This stuff is kinda hard to look over though, get the reconverted B-17's over it & bomb them to hell."

"Yes sir." Colonel K'nownothing said in a dissatisified voice.

All of a sudden YYYH's army started bustling to mine crap, fire plasma, bomb CWAL into oblivion, & get camp ready. That infamous cynical grin returned to YYYH's face as he went to get his BAR to fight with.

posted 11-17-98 12:46 AM ET            

Fjorxc the Maniac(CWAL Hunt Valley)
May the Fjorxc be with you and a happy new year.

posted 11-17-98 11:26 PM ET            

"Forward on the flank!"I scream

(The tanks, who are escorting the APC's rip across the crap, jumping into Hunt Valley & blowing apart all CWAL resistance, & quite a few civilians "accidently' once in a while.)

"Send the expendable clones onto them, we can't waste 'real' human life on this group of maggots!" I screamed over the radio to Colonel K'nownothing, who was leading the attack.

"Yes sir! People, get the clones into IHOP, any casualties to the clones I am willing to take, be sure to really wallop the *Cows!!!" Colonel K'nownothing said, I could sense the sound of insanity in his voice, he was enjoying this combat.

(The clones started swarming the ruins of the IHOP, getting literally ripped apart by the entrenched CWALers. But their sheer numbers simply force CWAL to abandon the IHOP.)

Continue with a CWALer or BoSer here!

*Cows=the name our troops our calling CWAL, just like 'Charlie' for the 'Nam war, or Kraut, & Gerries for the Germans in WWII. Don't forget Huns in WWI for the Germans!

Your faithful & hell-bent NIMadier general,
YYYH

posted 11-17-98 11:56 PM ET            

Hmmmm..... Have to see about giving this tidbit of information to Maggott... I'm sure he will completely enjoy it.

posted 11-18-98 09:50 PM ET            

When the cacophony had died down he exited his camp to scout the damage. The building and parking lot had been transformed into a moonscape of overlapping craters. Nothing was left! Then it hit him! Where was The DirectorGeneral and his 1970 Dodge Dart? jsorense had clearly seen him drive up and wait in the parking lot drinking coffee from a thermos before he entered the building. Where was he now? How could he have survived the attack? Disregarding the possibility that he might be seen, jsorense ran back to the communications tent.

"Calling IIIS, calling IIIS. Come in IIIS."
"Calling IIIS, calling IIIS. Come in IIIS."
"The DirectorGeneral is missing and may have been captured by CWAL."
"I repeat, The DirectorGeneral is missing and may have been captured by CWAL."
"I will scout and report any additional information after I have another cup of coffee."
"This is IIIS Agent jsorense signing off."
"Over and out."

posted 11-19-98 01:01 AM ET            

The crap Sofielisk so greatfully dropped on us is rotting, & the flies & their maggots are starting to cause disease among CWALers only right now. They can easily switch to attacking our forces though, so fall-back to a perimeter of 20 miles. Au, please nuke the CWAL posistions now.