posted 11-07-98 10:04 PM ET        

Undeveloped until recently, with the gaining of its independence from the European imperialistic powers, Nimania has begun the building of its industry and now boasts a thriving capital city complete with modern airport. Unfortunately, the expansion of civilization into the jungles has not made the native azugals very happy. Without further ado, The Diary (ies?) of a trip to the small republic of Nimania, with its vast jungles full of azugals....

Day 1
I have arrived at Nim City's airport. Traffic is heavy circling the airport, but I had set up my bribes with the air traffic controllers in advance to insure that my plane got in first. But all in not well in Nimania. It seems that my baggage got lost because the three letter designation for Nimton's airport was FNORD, and the silly machines from JFK could only print 3 letters on the label, and only ORD came out. So my luggage is now waiting in Chicago O'Hare to be picked up (yes, that's the designation). Fortunately, I wisely kept my supply of SuperProSMAC in my carry-on. But all my weapons for hunting the azugals... gone! Oh well.

Entering the concourse, I am glad to see that the convenience store here is well-stocked with "goods", if slightly overpriced. I immediately take the Sethson Gas Grenade, the K11 Imprison-O-Net Gun, and the Inflatable Cage for tranquilization and capture purposes. For when things get rough, I stock up on Shredder Pistols, Laser Rifles, and the infamous A5 Missile Launcher, as well as extra ammo for each. Should the azugals use one of the alleged flying machines they have, I have the military upgraded Stinger Plus with a modification that allows small bomb pellets to be sprayed underneath it before it detonates. To top it off, I wear a Nimanian cross that the early missionaries here used to ward off the evil azugal priests.

Unfortunately, after this little spending spree, I realize I have $36.78 left to my name. That's not much for silly little things like food. Oh well, there are always Nimberries growing in places, nothing like living off the land...

I realize that with only two hours worth of driving time before it gets dark, I must find a cheap place to spend the night or I will go broke. I find the Fort Nim Opputunity Redevolpment District, sort of a UEZ in Nimania, where no taxes are paid. I decide it would be a good starting ground for my hunt for the azugals as well. There is a motel listed near the border of the district with a road to it, though it mentions nothing of its condition.

I get in the rental car and start my drive to the motel. The road at first is excellent and quite modern, but as the sun sets it turns into a shabby dirt road. Dense jungle lines the road. As an experienced hunter, I know it is vital to get to a safe place before nightfall, the time that the azugals hunt. Just as I'm beginning to worry, giant iron gates appear before me. There is no "no vacancy or vacancy" sign, nor a sign for the name of the place even. It looks like a private castle.

The iron gates open. An elder man who doesn't look old greets me and shows me into the castle, while my rental car drives back to Nim City. The driver is clearly afraid of what might happen to him from the look on his face, but I assume he can drive fast enough if the azugals attack him. Meanwhile, I find my way to my upstairs room after dining with the proprietor of the establishment, a tall Cossack named Pyotor. He seems to be some sort of professional hunter. He told me an interesting story about how his twin brother searched for the most dangerous game all his life, and eventually moved to some island in the Caribbean where he thought he could find it. "What a fool. If only he had found the azugals, he would never have had to go about hunting... um, never mind, I didn't say that." Very odd man this was. But he gave me some tips on azugal hunting. Pyotor could be a valuable ally later. But it's bedtime now, can't fight azugals on 3 hours of sleep.

posted 11-08-98 05:42 PM ET            

The prefix code indicated that it had originated from the dreaded IIIS Human Resources Department, once headed by our fearless leader, The DirectorGeneral, himself. The message went on to read:

To all IIIS field personnel:
Due to sabotage by, as yet, unknown agents, a promising IIIS recruit has been misplaced, perhaps kidnapped. Anyone with knowledge of the location of a SnowFire report to HQ immediately. A squad of MIB is standing to for an instant rescue mission.
Burn this message and eat the ashes.
That is all.

posted 11-09-98 01:09 AM ET            

Ah, a refreshing sleep. After a sumptuous breakfast with Pyotor, I decide now would be a fine time to scout the area, maybe set some some traps, and in general be prepared for any "circumstances" that might turn up. Pyotor has volunteered to help me during the hunt tonight, but he claims he has "other ways" of preparing for tonight. He then flashed me a big toothy grin.

Ah, the jungles of Nimania. While appeating super-dense and impenetrable at first, they thin out in the interior. There is a stream running through this area that seems to be rather interesting. I follow it for a while, and find that, after a few short waterfalls, it runs into an underground cave. I mark the spot on my makeshift map as a possible azugal hiding place during the day. Since it's getting toward noontide, I should begin to turn back now, in order to get back to the castle before dinner. I decide to, instead of heading directly for the castle, to head instead for the road I took up the castle and then follow the road, for a longer if easier route. But now it's time for a bag lunch- ah, ham & cheese sandwich and a ProSMAC tablet, can't beat that.

I have finally reached the road, and am now following it back to the castle. Hmmm... that looks interesting off in the distance. Sorta shiny. I wonder what it is...

posted 11-09-98 05:16 PM ET            

Do you have everything you need in the new laboratory? From the videos you sent, it looks like Rocky is turning into a first rate assistant. She might be good enough to give Brother Greg second thoughts about his retirement. In other words, watch your back.

For your inspiration:

The rainman gave me two cures
And said "Jump right in."
One was Texas medicine,
The other was just railroad gin.
So like a fool I mixed them
They scrambled up my mind.
Now people get uglier,
And I have no sense of time.

posted 11-26-98 11:17 PM ET            

I found my diary!!!!!

Of course, it took a massive surface scan of Nimania by IIIS sattelites to do it. And I'm already way behind in filling it in, since it's been gone for so long, so it's not very useful. But fellow IIIS member Eric Halfbee had issued a general plea for more prervation of such things, so it was found. Now, as for how to put into words the tyranny of being a prisinor of the azugals for... um, I'm not up to that part yet. I deny everything, a fine azugal hunter such as me would never scum to such a disgrace. Unless he had a really good reason. Which I had, not that I needed it.

After returning from the wrecked car (presumably by hostile azugals), the castle was completely deserted. Since they had gone off to set traps, I was not particuarly worried. I set about eating and preparing for the night, with a dose of caffeniated ProSMAC to help get me through the night. As twilight approached, I thought I heard something outside. I looked outside my 3rd story window, expecting to see Pyotor or his valet coming back to help guide me on the hunt. No, it was an azugal sneaking into the house! And there were more azugals in the jungle. As soon as the one I had heard got in, another azugal started moving toward the door. What really amazed me was the quietness of the manuever- as far as I knew, an entire squad could be in the house by now. I wondered how Pyotor ever survived out here.

It was then that I realized that I was not carrying my weapons. They were downstairs, except... except for my shredder pistol and Imprison-O-Net gun, which were acriss the hall in the bathroom (no, don't even ask. it's a long story as to why they were there.). I cautiously moved toward the door... and then moved back. I needed to go over my plan first.

Fortunately, I knew what to do from my previous training in playing Doom- the azugals would split up into small groups inside the house that were easily defeatable, and I would run around recollecting my weapons which were conviently located near health packs to replenish my health bar after the azugals scored one two many hits. Who needs a plan anyway?

I cautiously poked my head outside my bedroom door. No azugals were in the 3rd level hall, it seemed. I crossed into the bathroom across the hallway, and put the shredder pistol in my pocket and the Imprison-O-net in my hands. Though I wasn't interested in capturing azugals right now, a shredder pistol would not assuredly take down a charging azugal. This would.

I "cleared" all the rooms in the 3rd floor, checking inside them for azugals (to insure I wouldn't be attacked from behind when I went downstairs) as well as helpful goodies like glowing armor symbols that would keep me alive longer. Unfortunately, there were neither goodies nor azugals. Er, I mean fortunately that there were no azugals upstairs.

I considered crawling over to the staircase to reduce my chance of being seen, but I never had to crawl in Doom so I figured I'd be fine walking down this staircase. As I came down the staircase, lo and behold there was an azugal in front of me, only staring dumbly at me.

"First victim," I thought as I let fly an Impris-O-Net at him.

I remember the azugal feeling the net go around him and tangle him up, but as I was watching this with elation, a splitting pain was hitting me in the side. The idea that an azugal would be waiting to my right side in my blind spot had never sorta occured to me. Worse, instead of losing 10 percentage points off my health bar (which I could handle) and still being of full running and shooting capabilities, I was falling and nearly swooning. Full darkness came only a couple of seconds later.

posted 11-12-98 07:36 PM ET            

I have been wondering when you would post a new chapter.