posted 11-05-98 10:50 PM ET 
Recon Raid, Stage Two "Are you sure all the bugs are worked out?" Fjorxc asked.
"Positive. This thing will work perfectly from here on," Sofielisk replied.
"It better. I still think we should have tested it out on Jolt a few more times, though."
"Well, we just didn't have the time," said Sofielisk. "We're getting something from Irvine...they're ready. Starting the procedure now..." Sofielisk pressed a few buttons, and the circular pad in front of her and Fjorxc lit up with a soft blue light.
"Wow...look at all the pretty colors," Fjorxc said.
As the blue light continued to emanate from the pad, a human figure began to take shape. It was undefined at first, with only the slightest features visible. Over a few seconds, the figure solidified and took shape. Finally, the blue light shut off, and Gunslinger, Operation CWAL's foremost computer hacker and engineer stepped off of the teleporter.
"Hey there," he said. "Well, that's certainly an interesting mode of transit...a lot better than Amtrak, it seems."
"Damn straight," replied Fjorxc.
"Well then. I guess that you didn't teleport me across North America just to give me a tour of your new HQ, right?"
"Err, yes," said Sofielisk. "Actually, we're conducting a raid on Firaxis HQ in just a little while. We need to bring you along so that you can hack into their computer systems and deactivate the security long enough for us to get in and take a little look-see."
"Okay then," Gunslinger said. "Well I'll just...wait a minute. Tell me again why you picked a Denny's for your HQ?"
"Because it was the first thing I thought of," Fjorxc said.
"But there's an IHOP down the street with a lot better location and selection."
"Correct, but there's one important distinguishing factor between them."
"And what's that?"
"I didn't think of the IHOP first."
Gunslinger sighed. "Forks, does this conversation have any relevance on the story whatsoever?"
"Define 'relevance'."
"I'll take that as a no, then."
A few minutes passed as CWAL Hunt Valley's small raiding team, consisting of Fjorxc, Freerunner, Gunslinger, and Sofielisk armed themselves and got neccesary equipment. Then they set off down the street, towards the imposing form of Firaxis HQ.
Meanwhile, three Flenser attack robots stalked down the street. They had been given instructions to locate the new CWAL splinter group which had established itself in Hunt Valley, and to destroy it before it consolidated its operations or defenses. Blizzard saw this as an opportunity to take out a number of non-fodder CWALers, and to demonstrate a show of good faith to Firaxis, thereby securing its vote for Blizzard's CEO as the Most Insane CEO Of An Evil Game Manufacturer� Of The Year.
They sighted a small group of CWAL raiders approaching Firaxis HQ. The Flensers moved to intercept, and fortunately for the CWALers but unfortunately for the Flensers, they didn't notice the dump truck speeding down the road at seventy miles per hour.
While "true" Blizzard Flensers can survive anything up to and including a tactical nuclear strike, Blizzard's ranks of Flensers also included a large number of cheap Taiwanese Flenser knock-offs, which were exceedingly weaker. Possibly due to a blunder on Blizzard's part, but probably because these particular Flensers had insisted on pretending that they were true Flensers, they had been assigned to this mission instead of their more powerful brethren.
While a true Flenser would easily have been able to survive a collision with a dump truck going at seventy miles per hour, the cheap Taiwanese Flenser knock-offs stood no chance. They were blasted to pieces, with bits of metal and circuitry raining down over the whole area. And there was much rejoicing among the CWALers when they found out several hours later.
/= ENTER YOUR ACCESS CODE TO GAIN ENTRANCE TO THE FACILITY.=\
Gunslinger hesitated for a moment, then took a small laptop-like computer off his utility belt and began typing some kind of programming instructions or something into it. He then established a cable connection between his computer and Firaxis' entry system.
/= PROCESSING YOUR REQUEST... YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE DOES NOT CONTAIN SUFFICIENT FUNDS TO COMPLETE THIS TRANSACTION. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER. =\
"Whoops," said Gunslinger, as he began typing new lines of code into the machine.
/= PROCESSING YOUR REQUEST... YOUR ENTRY CODE HAS BEEN CONFIRMED. WELCOME TO FIRAXIS HQ. =\
"We're in," said Gunslinger, as he pushed the door open.
"You're sure we didn't trip any alarms or anything?" asked Freerunner.
"Sure I'm sure," Gunslinger replied. "Come on, if I tripped any alarms, I'd sure as hell know it."
Led by Gunslinger, who went in first, the CWALers hesitantly entered the halls of Firaxis HQ. The overhead view of them entering the building somehow changes to black and white, and then the camera zooms out. It is obvious now that that was the view from a security monitor. Watching it are Firaxis's CEO, Jeff Briggs, and Sid Meier.
"You're certain that they don't pose any real threat to our defenses?" asked Jeff.
"Of course not, my lord. Our Civ II Marines and Civil War soldiers with laser muskets will make short work of these infidels," Sid replied.
"See to it that they do," Jeff said. "I cannot afford to have these fools rescue Alpha Centauri before we decide to release it. Which brings up another point...how long has it been completed, anyhow?"
"We finished it sometime in May, I believe," said Sid. "Yes, that's it. The middle of May. And just in case these fools somehow escape our troops, I have a surprise rigged for them. Two, in fact. This is one of them." Sid holds up a CD labeled "AlFA Sinterri Beet CD".
"What's that?" Jeff asked.
"This is a false beta CD for Alpha Centauri," Sid said. "If they find it, we're hoping that they'll think that it's the beta CD and leave with it, allowing us to finish a more secure storage place for the finished copy of SMAC."
"Yes, yes, very good. Now, how is the propaganda you are putting out affecting the forumers?"
"There are mixed results. One of them, Yo_Yo_Yo_Hey, believes that we are actually still developing and fine-tuning the game. Can you believe that? The CWALers have tried to convince him otherwise, but he is still firm in his belief."
"That's good, very good indeed. We need more people like that on our forums. Get to work on embedding more mind control subroutines on alphacentauri.com."
"I'll get right on it."
"Freerunner, I think something is very wrong here," squeaked Colin, the sentient computer built into Freerunner's watch.
"Oh? What makes you say that?"
"Well, it's not much, but I've been noticing people in the hallways staring at us and talking into radios. Plus, those security cameras up there keep watching us."
"Security cameras? Uh oh..."
At that point, a platoon of Union soldiers in Civil War garb stepped out from around the next corner, and raised their weapons.
"Muskets? Hah! What're muskets gonna do to us?" Freerunner snorted.
"FIRE!" came the command from the soldiers' commanding officer. But instead of lead bullets, beams of laser energy ripped through the air, just above the CWALers' heads. Fortunately, since these muskets took two minutes to recharge, it gave them a little leeway to determine their plan of action.
"Oh, crappity..." said Freerunner. "So, Forksy, what do we do now?"
"After conferring with my brain, we have arrived at the conclusion that running would be the wisest course."
Fjorxc the Maniac(CWAL Hunt Valley)
May the Fjorxc be with you and a happy new year.
"Give me Alpha Centauri or give me death!"
Alpha Centauri Forums
posted 11-05-98 10:50 PM ET 
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