Did anyone else get a special coupon in the SMAC box???

  Alpha Centauri Forums
  The Game
  Did anyone else get a special coupon in the SMAC box???

profile | register | prefs | faq | search

Author Topic:   Did anyone else get a special coupon in the SMAC box???

Freudianslip posted 03-07-99 11:40 PM ET
I couldn't believe my eyes! After I openend up the box, and took out the jewel case, the expected precipitation of warranty/ registration cards, installation guides, and upcoming products fell to the floor. However, something rather UNEXPECTED fell to the floor, as well! A gold-lined coupon good for a FREE MONKEY!! I couldn't believe my eyes!
I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought
that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided
not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I likemonkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive.
His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them are
really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I
laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their
new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the
couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at
first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its thirdhour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so
inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just
sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it
dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I don't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all
over my room,on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my
bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got
stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That
worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It
started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I
didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a
time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat
all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I
had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen
monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile
on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and
to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I feltbetter.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city
was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that
I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't
bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas
gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended
that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates.
So, I punched them in the genitals.I like monkeys
Wen_Amon posted 03-08-99 12:20 PM ET
Uh-huh, oh by the way...
NIM
Rasputin posted 03-08-99 02:27 PM ET
hee hee!
Freudianslip posted 03-08-99 10:29 PM ET
Forgot to mention I found this one on the Fallout2 board. Something about those monkeys.... they love monkeys on that board.
To close this thread, click here (moderator or admin only).


Hop to:

Contact Us | Alpha Centauri Home

Powered by: Ultimate Bulletin Board, Version 5.18
© Madrona Park, Inc., 1998.

Author	Topic: Did anyone else get a special coupon in the SMAC box???
Freudianslip	posted 03-07-99 11:40 PM ET I couldn't believe my eyes! After I openend up the box, and took out the jewel case, the expected precipitation of warranty/ registration cards, installation guides, and upcoming products fell to the floor. However, something rather UNEXPECTED fell to the floor, as well! A gold-lined coupon good for a FREE MONKEY!! I couldn't believe my eyes! I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I likemonkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them are really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing. I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its thirdhour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys. I don't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room,on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys. I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad. I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I feltbetter. I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said that the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones. I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they liked them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So, I punched them in the genitals.I like monkeys
Wen_Amon	posted 03-08-99 12:20 PM ET Uh-huh, oh by the way... NIM
Rasputin	posted 03-08-99 02:27 PM ET hee hee!
Freudianslip	posted 03-08-99 10:29 PM ET Forgot to mention I found this one on the Fallout2 board. Something about those monkeys.... they love monkeys on that board.