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Author Topic:   Advice for Evk

tfs99 posted 05-09-99 02:24 PM ET
Go to it ...
SMAC n ... Ted S.
LackOfKnack posted 05-09-99 02:43 PM ET
HA! - HA! - HA! (said slowly)
Thank you.

Lack
Evk posted 05-09-99 02:48 PM ET
Yes! Give me advice!! I need guidance. Like, should I take Nell's advice and try out a vacuum cleaner?
LackOfKnack posted 05-09-99 02:58 PM ET
Evk, just don't use a Sears Shop Vac (ow).

Lack
trippin daily posted 05-09-99 03:29 PM ET
Is that from expierience Lack?
Trippin Daily
Evk posted 05-09-99 07:09 PM ET
"A 51-year-old man seeking sexual gratification with a vacuum cleaner nearly bled to death when the machine cut off a half-inch of his penis, authorities said.
The intoxicated man first told police that someone had stabbed him in the crotch as he slept, Long Branch public safety director Louis Napoletano said.
However, officers who responded to Monday's call for help instead realized the man had hoped to obtain sexual pleasure from the appliance's suction, Napoletano said.
``But what he didn't realize is that there's a blade in the vacuum cleaner right under where the hose attaches that pushes the dust into the collection bag,'' he said.
When the man, who was not identified by police, turned on the vacuum cleaner, the blade cut off part of his penis. The victim told detectives he did not remember the incident.
Doctors at Monmouth Medical Center were able to stop the bleeding but were unable to reattach the severed part, Napoletano said. He was listed in stable condition Tuesday."
OW!
LackOfKnack posted 05-09-99 07:12 PM ET
No trip, actully, I heard a stor ysimilar to Evk's at the Darwin Awards web site. People who kill themselves doing something stupid, like putting gasoline in their clothes dryer, get an award. They even check it out to confirm the stories!
It's almost a funnier site then the Dialectizer (slap mah fro!)
Lack
LackOfKnack posted 05-09-99 07:12 PM ET
No trip, actully, I heard a story similar to Evk's at the Darwin Awards web site. People who kill themselves doing something stupid, like putting gasoline in their clothes dryer, get an award. They even check it out to confirm the stories!
It's almost a funnier site then the Dialectizer (slap mah fro!)
Lack
Koshko posted 05-09-99 09:53 PM ET
Do you remember the good old days when you were 12, and all you needed was a hand and your imagination?
Evk posted 05-09-99 11:16 PM ET
No, but I do remeber the age of 16, when that was all I needed.
Wait. I'm still sixteen.

(with apologies to anybody who reads this formus over lunch!)
SMACTrek posted 07-20-99 01:26 AM ET
Have you had your break today?
SMACTrek posted 07-20-99 01:30 AM ET
Speaking of MacDonald's, they're history as soon as I find where that Mean Gene's is...
walruskkkch posted 07-20-99 02:23 PM ET
I am not making this up. There is a video called "Hand made love" out there which is supposed to be a how to manual for this sort of thing. You know it seems so basic, do guys really need instruction? Anyway if you really want to know it's produced by a company called Diversity City Press out of Quebec, Canada. (Before you start getting any ideas, I work in a library and a patron asked one of my collegues for this. We get some strange requests.)
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Author	Topic: Advice for Evk
tfs99	posted 05-09-99 02:24 PM ET Go to it ... SMAC n ... Ted S.
LackOfKnack	posted 05-09-99 02:43 PM ET HA! - HA! - HA! (said slowly) Thank you. Lack
Evk	posted 05-09-99 02:48 PM ET Yes! Give me advice!! I need guidance. Like, should I take Nell's advice and try out a vacuum cleaner?
LackOfKnack	posted 05-09-99 02:58 PM ET Evk, just don't use a Sears Shop Vac (ow). Lack
trippin daily	posted 05-09-99 03:29 PM ET Is that from expierience Lack? Trippin Daily
Evk	posted 05-09-99 07:09 PM ET "A 51-year-old man seeking sexual gratification with a vacuum cleaner nearly bled to death when the machine cut off a half-inch of his penis, authorities said. The intoxicated man first told police that someone had stabbed him in the crotch as he slept, Long Branch public safety director Louis Napoletano said. However, officers who responded to Monday's call for help instead realized the man had hoped to obtain sexual pleasure from the appliance's suction, Napoletano said. ``But what he didn't realize is that there's a blade in the vacuum cleaner right under where the hose attaches that pushes the dust into the collection bag,'' he said. When the man, who was not identified by police, turned on the vacuum cleaner, the blade cut off part of his penis. The victim told detectives he did not remember the incident. Doctors at Monmouth Medical Center were able to stop the bleeding but were unable to reattach the severed part, Napoletano said. He was listed in stable condition Tuesday." OW!
LackOfKnack	posted 05-09-99 07:12 PM ET No trip, actully, I heard a stor ysimilar to Evk's at the Darwin Awards web site. People who kill themselves doing something stupid, like putting gasoline in their clothes dryer, get an award. They even check it out to confirm the stories! It's almost a funnier site then the Dialectizer (slap mah fro!) Lack
LackOfKnack	posted 05-09-99 07:12 PM ET No trip, actully, I heard a story similar to Evk's at the Darwin Awards web site. People who kill themselves doing something stupid, like putting gasoline in their clothes dryer, get an award. They even check it out to confirm the stories! It's almost a funnier site then the Dialectizer (slap mah fro!) Lack
Koshko	posted 05-09-99 09:53 PM ET Do you remember the good old days when you were 12, and all you needed was a hand and your imagination?
Evk	posted 05-09-99 11:16 PM ET No, but I do remeber the age of 16, when that was all I needed. Wait. I'm still sixteen. (with apologies to anybody who reads this formus over lunch!)
SMACTrek	posted 07-20-99 01:26 AM ET Have you had your break today?
SMACTrek	posted 07-20-99 01:30 AM ET Speaking of MacDonald's, they're history as soon as I find where that Mean Gene's is...
walruskkkch	posted 07-20-99 02:23 PM ET I am not making this up. There is a video called "Hand made love" out there which is supposed to be a how to manual for this sort of thing. You know it seems so basic, do guys really need instruction? Anyway if you really want to know it's produced by a company called Diversity City Press out of Quebec, Canada. (Before you start getting any ideas, I work in a library and a patron asked one of my collegues for this. We get some strange requests.)